Is it a sin not to take children to mass?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Amac1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Amac1

Guest
My children are young toddlers/pre-schoolers (don’t want to say their age for anonymity reasons). They haven’t received the sacrament of communion. They do not understand what is going on during the mass, though the eldest likely benefits from going… seeing it being part of life, the community, the routine etc.

I’m asking because of how I’ve dealt with this in the past, and not the present/future. I simply want to know have I been sinning by not taking them in the past?

Thanks, and sorry for the boring question.
 
No, it is not a sin. They have not yet reached “the age of reason,” which some say is school age, some say age seven.
 
Last edited:
It is nice to take children to mass, however, until they begin their sacramentals prep around age 6 they are not required to be there.

Maybe start with practicing sitting still at home while watching mass, singing the songs, learning responses and prayers, talking about the readings each day.

After that, just popping into the Church to visit Jesus, move to a daily mass
 
Amac1 said:
I simply want to know have I been sinning by not taking them in the past?
Click to expand...
No. My parents would not take me to Mass until I was old enough to sit quietly in the pew for the whole time. My earliest memories of being at Mass are around age 4 or maybe just slightly younger.

My mother strongly believed that babies should not be at Mass until they were old enough to behave, unless there was a suitable “cry room”, which our parish church didn’t have. So on Sunday, she and Dad would attend separate Masses, and the one not at Mass would stay home with me. I realize some parents like to bring their small children to Mass or may not have a reliable sitter, but I am just pointing out that it’s not a sin to make other arrangements for your pre-school child rather than take them to Mass.
TheLittleLady said:
just popping into the Church to visit Jesus,
Click to expand...
This is a really nice thing to do with your kids - explain that Church is Jesus’ house and you’re going to visit him and his mother Mary and his father Joseph - My mom did that with little me, many times. It was like visiting family.
 
Last edited:
Yes, but they are not going to become familiar until they know what is going on, and they can’t if they are not old enough to understand. So it is not necessary for them to be there as babies and toddlers. Parents should not feel pressured into taking children that young to church. Just because they are not brought until they are older doesn’t mean the church is dying.

Not true.
 
As you asked for the past, I am happy that you now seems to bring your toddlers and pres-schoolers with you!

Sure with the virus, it had become increasingly difficult.

But not impossible. Some people are annoyed or distracted by foreign kids running in the Church and would notice. But others would thanks the parents to bring them to mass. It happened both to me. Anyway, to have youngs children running are part of what masses should look like. A house of God full of children!

For youngs children a plan can be started as soon as they are ready.
Some games/ toys for the 2-3 years. For eg, my child took her doll and stroller and sit down in the small chair/table for children.
Religious books such as catechism and child’s Bible can be put in a small “mass bag”.
I bought a child coloring missel. They have a picture for each sunday. She colored at mass and be quiet.

We can also print pictures in relation with the Gospel.

We can aslo read the gospel in advance with them. And give them some challenges before, so they will keep observing. “What is the color of the priest vestment, etc, etc?”
And involved them as soon as possible in the liturgy, such as holding candles etc.

If there is nothing planned for children during mass in your parish, it’s time to contact your parish council to determine action.
 
It’s fine if you feel that way, but if another parent feels differently, they are not sinning by choosing to not bring their preschool child. The OP is concerned about whether she committed a sin by not bringing her children to Mass. She didn’t.

Parents should be able to choose whether they want to bring their pre-school child or not, and not feel pressured to bring them or not bring them.
 
Last edited:
The earlier you take them the better behaved they become.
Nothing sadder than a 7 year old acting out in church…playing video games or sitting on kneeler.
Church behavior begins at home. That’s how we did it. It’s not a sin just not prudent.
 
Last edited:
To answer to the argument

“It is not necessary to bring toddlers and young children to mass”

On the practical side, unless one parent practice and the other does not, it is not fine that one stay at home to keep the children while the other go to mass with the olders children. Both parents should practice their mass obligation. It is likely that in a couple one (often the father) would jump on the occasion to avoid the mass, but it could be the beginning of the end of the Catholic life at all. I think we all have an exemple in mind.

We can rely also on a grandparent or someone else, but again, not cool to rely on an atheist to keep your children outside a Godly place.

On the listening side, children may understand quicker than we think. At 4 years old, I think my child know more on the Bible and mass than the average 10 years old who have done 3 years of catechism and his first communion. That does not mean that she would listen the mass, nor that I would not give her an “activity” to do during mass.
And even at 1 years and half my toddler may understand more than we may think. He raised his baby mass book and say “Allelouia” at the right time, as the priest would do it. It is even one of the only word he speaks. he recently want to be read stories, so his more formal Catholic education can start soon.

Of course, at mass he can be difficult to manage, run and climb everywhere…

Both children play mass together.

100% agree!

Children can be a nuisance, but to exclude a mother because of her baby of mass or any church activity is autracism that makes the Church dying.

Some parishes offer an alternative with a place to care for toddlers during mass.
 
Yes when my kids were preschool age we did not have crying rooms.
My boys tried to climb pillars etc and got time out at home at about 3.
My youngest daughter was the most challenging. She crawled under 3 pews back at mass.
She too did time out.

A church member told me they were happy to see her act like that because my other children were so well behaved and she thought there was something wrong with her parenting.

We’ve all been there. So bring your toddler and young ones to mass. Jesus LOVES little children.
 
Last edited:
And there is nothing sadder then at CONFIRMATION retreats that chilren have to be taught how to respectfully receive communion.

This is because it’s too much of a hassle for parents to bring young teens to mass without electronics learned at an earlier stage and they are embarrassed.
 
Last edited:
Thanks you . I am somewhat mixed relieved to know that I am not the only one who struggle!

It can give us so much shame sometimes! Because you feel as a defective parent!
 
Some children are so quiet with their parents…

It happened that some people stops my baby from running at mass… One priest feel it is funny, but not all people think that way!
Katie777 said:
And there is nothing sadder then at CONFIRMATION retreats that chilren have to be taught how to respectfully receive communion.
Click to expand...
That’s funny because yesterday, my child was asking, so we revised, while eating cherries who to take communion in the hand! (It was not entertained my husband who is afraid to what social assistants may think of us…)
 
Last edited:
I confess that often during mass I am more busy looking at the children that listening the priest… 😑

I also think that many priests love young children and are happy to see families during mass.

For Christmas mass, the priest had make a kind comment during his homily because of my child walking at four legs in the altar’s direction. (“He is rushes toward Jesus!”)
 
Last edited:
That is so wonderful. Your children are learning!

I had to buy a plastic champagne glass and my oldest was 4. He lined up the younger ones and gave out goldsfish.

I also had to make a cross on top of a broomhandle and that was the alterserver.

But my youngest is 12 years younger so she missed out.

A piece of work at mass. We never stepped out of church but told her if she wasn’t a good girl she could practice at next mass 🙂 She would also invite people behind us for an apple and bubbles party?? I guess she liked apples and bubbles.

She ran up and down pew. She nonstop talked.

But she now is the most reverent of my kids.
 
Katie777 said:
I havent reached the age of reason at 45 +
Click to expand...
Why?

Myself, I should be less serious and more cool and relaxed with the children!
Tis_Bearself said:
However, from time to time there are priests who are not so understanding.
Click to expand...
Yes. I have experienced it. Not at mass, thanksfully.

As a teenager and young adult I was boring with Children’s mass. I want more seriousness and intellectual. I think now there is a time for everything in life…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top