Is it a sin to be civilly divorced?

[Leopard]

Leopard,

I just wanted to caution you about your response. Many people who are divorced already feel much guilt about the situation, even though they have done nothing wrong. They have a lot of “what ifs” and wonder what they could have done differently to save the marriage. Sometimes they end up blaming themselves for normal human failures that do not justify their spouse seeking divorce.

I am very sure that you never meant to lead anyone to feel guilt for something that was not sinful. I was just concerned that your post could be easily misunderstood.

God bless.

I know. That is why I specifically said

**…being divorced, per se, is not a sin…
**
and

…it is possible for a divorced person to be an innocent victim… [who] is not guilty of any sin related to the divorce whatsoever…

However I do not know all the details involved so I can not say for certain whether or not the OP bears any responsibility for her divorce. Nor is it my business to do so, which is why I also said

I won’t ask you for details to try to evaluate your innocence or guilt myself because that isn’t my business, but I would suggest you have a talk with your priest about this if you are unsure.

I also do not wish to have my posts misunderstood, which is why I generally try to say everything I have to say, if it is important, in as careful and complete a manner as possible. While I understand it is possible some may think from this that I am insensitive to the feelings of those who are grieving for their marriages, I would hope that a careful reading of my post would show this not to be the case. Thank you for your polite concern for me and for your compassion for the OP.

 

[briang72]

This is a very touchy subject, and I’ve been offended on occasion by someone’s comments.

Back to the original post…Honey, you’re fine. The divorce is not a mortal sin for you. I’ve been divorced for 16 years now, and there are times when I’d like to be married – like when my kids were teen-agers, and when my mother died – but I knew I would never marry again.

If you’re young and your kids are little and you think you might want to get married again, look into an annulment. But until you find out if that’s a possibility, I’d suggest you don’t even date. Don’t invite temptation. If you fall in love anyway, you have to decide what’s more important…getting married or your immortal soul. I’d protect my soul.

Based on the evidence the OP has presented, I would have to agree. No mortal sin has been commited. It sounds to me like you took your wedding vows seriously, and didn’t will this divorce.

The second paragraph above is the best advice that I got 13 months ago when I went through my divorce. You are still married in the eyes of the church until you go through the annulment process and are given the decree of nullity. Dating anyone right now would not be recommended, and some would argue it to be sinful. I recommend starting the annulment process whether or not you are ready to marry again.

 

[guanophore]

My ex-husband had an affair and married her after our divorce. I was quite upset that I wasn’t able to get an annulment based on the fact he cheated, however, because I was pregnant and got married to him, I was granted an annulment for that reason. So this time when I got married I did the same thing…got pregant before we were married so if he cheats or somehow my second marriage ends in a divorce, I’ll have a way to get remarried again, if need be. Hopefully, I’ll make this marriage work…that is our plan.

This is a common misunderstanding about annulments. Annulment is a statement that a valid marriage never took place in the beginning. That is why events that happen after the marriage are irrelevant, except to the extent that they describe the state of mind of the couple when vows are taken. I am not sure why you got an annulment based on being pregnant when you got married. Perhaps that was proof that you were not chaste, and were not ready, able, or willing to make the vows you did.

Committing mortal sins to get what you want in this life seems very short sighted. Will it matter how many marriages you can pregnant your way into, or out of , if your soul is in hell for eternity?

 

[rcballi46]

My ex-husband had an affair and married her after our divorce. I was quite upset that I wasn’t able to get an annulment based on the fact he cheated, however, because I was pregnant and got married to him, I was granted an annulment for that reason. So this time when I got married I did the same thing…got pregant before we were married so if he cheats or somehow my second marriage ends in a divorce, I’ll have a way to get remarried again, if need be. Hopefully, I’ll make this marriage work…that is our plan.

As I understand it, you received an annulment of your previous marriage because the Church felt you were ‘pressured’ into getting married by your being pregnant (not marrying each other freely); yet you now entered another Sacramentally invalid marriage by committing a mortal sin - having premarital sex - in fact you blasphemed your latest Sacrament by that deceiving act, so you can, if it doesn’t work out again this time, repeat the same lies. Wow, I’m surprised you even bother to get married in the Catholic Church. I hope your spouse isn’t aware of your intent.