Is it a sin to have sex when your wife is pregnant?

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Patrick7

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Hi all,

I have a rather weird question to ask. I am sure some of you will be laughing at me.

2 nights ago my wife want to have sex with me but I was a little reluctant to do so because I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to do it whilst she was expecting. She got alittle upset and was whinning about how she didn’t feel sexy and that I thought she was fat (I never ever said that in my life she will always be beautiful to me). It’s not because I didn’t love her but I wasn’t sure if it was sinful or not and weather it would harm the baby.

I am not a theology expert but I am pretty sure that in the bible there are passages pertaining to when you are not allowed to have sex with your wife. at least that is what I have been told.

Thanks
 
Hi Patrick, No it isn’t sinful you are married.

It shouldn’t hurt the baby, unless her doctor told her not to for some medical reason.

The baby is totally unaware of anything going on.
 
No it is not immoral. The only time one should avoid sex during oregnancy is if say the mother was in bed rest or something like that (ask your doctor). You should get Christopher West’s Good News About Sex and Marriage to understand the Church’s teachings on sexuality.
By the way, even though you did not say she was fat, she is worried you feel that way by not being attracted to her (in her mind becuause you do not want to be intimate). It’s hard emotionally sometimes on women seeing themselves change physically and worrying how they will look to their husbands afterwards. So attention to her needs for affection and intimacy can help her very much. Hope that helps!
 
In general, it is perfectly sin free to have sex with your wife when she’s pregnant. And normally it’s safe for the baby.

There are certain medical problems that affect SOME pregnancies that could make sex dangerous for the unborn child. In such cases sex would be putting the child’s life in danger so it would not be right.

And some women find sex uncomfortable at certain stages of the pregnancy or when in certain positions. A husband should obviously be considerate of his wife in such cases.
 
This is a time for the husband to follow the wife’s lead. You’re not in charge here, she is. When she can no longer find pleasure in having sex because of advanced pregnancy, she will tell you and then you stop having sex, until after the delivery. And this is another time to be guided by your wife. When she is sufficiently healed after the delivery that she feels comfortable resuming sex, that is the time to resume having sex. Men are not always the head of the family.

Matthew
 
why would you even think for a moment it would be sinful?
is there some medical reason she should not be having sex?
this topic is introduced about 6 times a year on this or the morality forum if you are interested in more discussion, you could search on it
why haven’t you been in on discussions with your wife’s doctor if you have questions about what is and is not safe for her and the baby?
 
Positions with your wife on top will make pregnant sex more pleasurable for both of you.
 
Its only immoral if you told the child what happened when he/she is in their teen years

Oh the horror…😛
 
oh goodness NO it is not sinful. And i can understand your wifes distress. In our house we call second trimester the “honeymoon trimester” usually the womans drive goes through the roof. I know i would go into depression if my husband refused to be intimate with me. Hormones make it hard to be reasonable and I would probably think it was because i my body changing and that you were repulsed by it. Like a previous poster said let her be in control. You may go through a time where you can’t keep up with her sex drive and the next minute she wants nothing to do with you. But its very important to be supportive and open to being with your wife. Talk to your wifes doctor/midwife, they will assure you its ok. Also i think the bible verses you are refering to are in the old testament. We always have to remember many of the things God commanded of men in the old testament were “tests” to show or prove your love for God. When Jesus came and died for us many of those things became void. Like circumcison.

hope that makes sence and helps.
 
I don’t see how it would be sinful. Especially considering the Church’s teachings on NFP. If sex with your pregnant wife was sinful so would be sex when your wife is her infertile time or during breastfeeding.
 
puzzleannie said:
why would you even think for a moment it would be sinful?
is there some medical reason she should not be having sex?
this topic is introduced about 6 times a year on this or the morality forum if you are interested in more discussion, you could search on it
why haven’t you been in on discussions with your wife’s doctor if you have questions about what is and is not safe for her and the baby?
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our doctor hasn’t said anything medically that would harm her or the baby and there is no harm but I was being cautious about not committing a sin. And yes there are passages in the bible which pertaining to when you are supposed to refrain from sex altogether. For e.g. when a woman is on her period and a few other times.
 
Patrick7 said:
And yes there are passages in the bible which pertaining to when you are supposed to refrain from sex altogether. For e.g. when a woman is on her period and a few other times.
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Those are part of the Israelites’ ritual purity laws. They don’t count for Catholics, 😃
 
puzzleannie said:
why would you even think for a moment it would be sinful?
is there some medical reason she should not be having sex?
this topic is introduced about 6 times a year on this or the morality forum if you are interested in more discussion, you could search on it
why haven’t you been in on discussions with your wife’s doctor if you have questions about what is and is not safe for her and the baby?
Click to expand...
This is so accusatory, and so blatantly rude. Patrick had a question, and he felt the need to post a thread. Perhaps he did a search and didn’t find what he was looking for. Do you know of a certainty that this is not the case? Please don’t be so quick to jump in and scold. It’s harmful and destructive, and it shows anything but Christian charity.

Patrick, as you’ve been rightly advised by the other posters, there is generally nothing wrong with sex during pregnancy. Your wife may be feeling a little rejected after being turned down the other night, and emotions can sometimes run high during the ups and downs of pregnancy hormones. Just be gentle with her emotions and trust what information she relates to you regarding her doctor’s advice.

And relax and enjoy a prolonged infertile period! haha
 
Patrick7 said:
Hi all,

I have a rather weird question to ask. I am sure some of you will be laughing at me.

2 nights ago my wife want to have sex with me but I was a little reluctant to do so because I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to do it whilst she was expecting. She got alittle upset and was whinning about how she didn’t feel sexy and that I thought she was fat (I never ever said that in my life she will always be beautiful to me). It’s not because I didn’t love her but I wasn’t sure if it was sinful or not and weather it would harm the baby.

I am not a theology expert but I am pretty sure that in the bible there are passages pertaining to when you are not allowed to have sex with your wife. at least that is what I have been told.

Thanks
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So long as the pregnancy is normal and healthy, and the sex is with said wife, it’s not an issue. Now, at certain points, my wife’s doc said to have sex with a condom only, so during those points, no, it’s not acceptable.
 
Myself, I’m against sex during pregnancy for several reasons. One, I consider it sex in the presence of a child even if the baby doesn’t know. Also, although most women ahve strong intuition about their needs during pregnancy, some, especially first-time mothers, may not know they have medical complications. not everyone can afford top-of-the-line prenatal care, after all, and most of us have to rely on our intuition. But it’s up to her.
 
strngrnrth said:
Myself, I’m against sex during pregnancy for several reasons. One, I consider it sex in the presence of a child even if the baby doesn’t know. Also, although most women ahve strong intuition about their needs during pregnancy, some, especially first-time mothers, may not know they have medical complications. not everyone can afford top-of-the-line prenatal care, after all, and most of us have to rely on our intuition. But it’s up to her.
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I’m just curious whether you, personally, have had to endure more than nine months of abstinence while your wife was pregnant, because this sounds like an extremely difficult burden to place on any husband, especially without medical knowledge of a complication.

Also, I think you might be surprised at the number of couples who have no problem with having sex while their baby sleeps on the other side of the room, or the other side of the bed. It’s not considered an indiscretion (much less a perversion), so far as I know, unless the child is quite a bit older and aware of what’s going on. Again, unless one has been there, it’s not something one ought to judge arbitrarily.
 
I am very much enjoying several years and counting of abstinence without even a baby to show for it. I miss the idea of motherhood more than sex, by far. I would see it as a very minor sacrifice. I have lost a child and it takes all the compassion and patience in me to stay calm around men who can get babies essentially free yet complain about mere months of abstinence.
 
strngrnrth said:
I am very much enjoying several years and counting of abstinence without even a baby to show for it. I miss the idea of motherhood more than sex, by far. I would see it as a very minor sacrifice. I have lost a child and it takes all the compassion and patience in me to stay calm around men who can get babies essentially free yet complain about mere months of abstinence.
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I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a child is very painful.

I’m having trouble extrapolating from your post whether you are male or female, though you “miss the idea of motherhood,” so I will assume female. If this is the case, then I wouldn’t judge men too harshly. I say this from one woman to another. Theirs is an incredible struggle with their very bodies, and sometimes it is virtual torment. I see what my husband endures during our fertile period of the month, and I can only imagine what nine whole months would do to him. Men are born having no say in their chemistry, and they have to learn, often through a painful process, to harness their hormones and rein in their passions. I don’t envy them one bit.
 
strngrnrth said:
Myself, I’m against sex during pregnancy for several reasons. One, I consider it sex in the presence of a child even if the baby doesn’t know.
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Unless you knew at the moment of conception, I’m sure that you had sex during the very beginnings of your pregnancy. And the child was there then…:confused:
 
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