Is It A Sin To Runaway/Cut Contact With A Parent?

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yahwehsdaughter

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Let’s say this parent is controlling, abusive, keeping you isolated, and monitors everything you do, in the name of keeping you safe. You can’t drive, get a job, go anywhere by yourself, and whatever money you do have is in a joint account which you need permission to use. They tell you that you are worthless, stupid, replacable, etc., and they hate your faith and persecute you. You are expected to live under their roof or where they can easily reach you, and not doing the things they want you to do (even if those things are only suggestions) results in you being criticized under their breath or being given the silent treatment for about a month. I’m not talking about a child or teenager; I’m asking if it’s okay to leave if you’re an adult? Would you be dishonoring your parent by leaving and cutting contact with them?
 
The commandment to honor one’s father and mother is not a commandment to accept getting killed, stolen from, etc.

Generally speaking, unless one is in a war, heroism, or martyrdom situation, a human is obliged to try to stay alive and healthy, and to get away from people doing him serious harm.

If a person doing serious harm to one is one’s parent, that’s a great shame to the parent. They are breaking the laws of God and nature. Even most animals treat their children with love.

And if one is an adult, of course one has no obligation to stick around an abusive parent. Generally speaking, an adult can do as he pleases. He doesn’t have to obey a parent.

The money you have earned is your own. You might want to consult a lawyer about getting your money out of that joint account, or you might want to just stop depositing in that account and get your own account. Many workplaces will be happy to set up direct deposit once you have a checking account of your own.
 
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Not a sin. In fact, one could easily argue that remaining in contact with someone who is controlling, abusive and keeping you isolated, etc could actually lead you into sins-such as anger, violence, etc
 
If you are an adult and this is happening, maybe it’s time for you to leave the nest and go out and live your life. There’s no sin in that. You don’t need to cut contact. Once you make your stand that you are moving out to live your own life, you won’t need to be subject to the parental controls. You can have a better relationship with your patent. It won’t be so one sided.

This is all assuming you can get some kind of gainful employment. Get a job and start making tracks.
 
This was my life from 18-27 …I’m 53 now .
It took years for me to get the courage to leave …I started planning 9 months in advance to leave by the spring . I was able to get almost 1000.00 & in 1994 that was a lot of money . I got my brother who lived 4 hours away to come and get me. I never new how beautiful freedom was until that day .
I’m sharing this with you because time is precious and your deserve to live your life . Their is no sin to worry about here.
It’s time for you to make that change and live, Pray ,pray and keep praying that the Lord guides you out .
 
Not hating your comment but disagreeing with it.

No one is obligated to put up with abuse so they could offer it up.

In fact it enables the abusers in the continuation of their sin.
 
I say “runaway” because I would have to sneak out and disable the GPS from my phone. I would also have to go somewhere where they can’t find me anymore… I just worry that if I try to leave, God will punish me and make something terrible happen to me, like I will be killed or have to prostitute myself for money or something :cry:. I just feel like I don’t have much will to go on anymore. The only reason I do is because I fear hell. I just don’t want to suffer anymore. I just want to be happy. I will offer it up though.
 
God will not punish you if you decide not to put up with abuse.

In fact ask God to liberate you from this abuse.

God wouldn’t have freed the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt if he likes to see people suffer.

God is a God of liberation not oppression.

I will pray for God to take care of you.

Are you in the US or in another country?
 
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Thank you so much for this encouragement ((hug)). I’m glad you got out. I will keep praying, and trust God to guide me. Thank you, again.
 
Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. I’m in the US.
 
Just saw, if you’re an adult, it depends on the situation. If they are your legal guardian due to some health/mental health reason, you’ll need to find an alternative situation somehow, legally. Otherwise, as an adult, you should be able to just leave. You should also be able to (in this case) talk to a social worker that is dealing with your case, in order to hire a fiduciary instead of having a parent in control of it.

If you are free without restrictions (restriction examples: legal guardianship, fiduciary situation, disability, etc):
You may consider asking your boss to help you out with scheduling you in a way that you have time to be able to get to a bank and iron out direct deposit. Inform the bank of restrictions on the account. No employment money should go anywhere but direct deposit into an account that is exclusively yours. If this is needed, add someone else to the account that you trust that will not betray you, in order to prevent (legally) your parent from finding a loophole to join the account.

Save up money. Leave. There are shelters out there as well, and social workers that can help you iron out the details.

If you have other family that you can reach out to or stay with, try that until you’re on your feet, especially if they’re local and will keep you safe from the abusive parent.

You have a right to be safe and independent as an adult, within the realm of realism (if restricted legally due to disability/etc, you have less option). If someone’s parent needs help, that’s one thing, but they can’t hold you hostage for such a thing.
 
I don’t have a job or friends, and I’m not really close with the rest of my family. I know if I asked to stay with them, they would tell my immediate family where I am. I don’t have a priest or church since my family pretty much hates religion. I wasn’t able to go. There’s a ministry that does social work in town. I don’t know exactly what they do, but I can reach out to them.
 
I just want to say I’m praying for you.

You say you don’t have a priest or church since you weren’t able to go due to your parents. However, I don’t know any parish that I’ve ever been a part of that would turn away someone for help even if they aren’t a parishoner. I’ve been part of smaller parishes that might not have the funds or resources to help everyone who came to their door directly, but they had contacts and knew who to talk to all the same. The same went for every other church denomination in town too.

If you can, and the ministry you found isn’t something that fits your needs, then see about reaching out to your local churches.
 
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God is GOOD. He is just and he desires what is GOOD for you. Don´t worry.
 
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