I’ve been in therapy for a while but it dawned on me a while back that it might be a sin to talk about other people to my counselor. It has made me want to quit therapy as I’m afraid I can’t continue it without committing detraction. So is it a sin within the context of therapy?
Is it a sin to talk about people in therapy?
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A person in therapy has to be able to talk about anything that is relevant to the treatment process. It is not detraction. The counselor needs to know.
Detraction would be more like gossip, telling other people unknown things about a third person, when they have no right to know. The counselor has the right to know everything about everyone in your life, or about anyone whose behavior has affected you. That is not gossip.
Think of it this way: if you became the victim of a crime, would it be detraction or gossiping to call the police? Certainly not! Telling the unknown faults of others in counseling, faults that have affected you in some way, can be necessary. Even if it’s something that hasn’t affected you directly, still, the counselor needs to know the full picture. I would not develop any scruples about this. Tell the counselor everything.
blackforest
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Therapy actually requires that you talk about other people so that you can improve in your relationships and interactions. It’s actually important to communicate to your therapist even your negative feelings about others. Your therapist will guide you toward new and more helpful thought patterns. Definitely stay in therapy and give this process some patience. God bless!
I’m just concerned here that not identifying the person could “egg on” some kind of scruple, along the lines of “I’ll commit the sin of detraction if I say their name, so I just have to keep saying ‘my co-worker(s)’ instead of [insert name(s) here]”. Saying the name or names could even be therapeutic.
I grew up in a part of the country where the more rustic or insular sorts — people who’ve never been out of the valley and have been around the same people all their lives — speak in what I call “pronoun salad”. “I told him what he said about her, and then she told him what she said” could refer to as many as six different people, and if you can’t sort out who’s who, they look at you as if to say “weren’t you listening to me?” and can even get their feelings hurt. The therapist needs to know who these people are, to be able to help you.
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Please go to this priest and tell him everything you’ve discussed here. Ask him that question. Again, I think I know what he will tell you.
blackforest
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Psychiatrists are limited in that their approach is more medical - great for med management, but sometimes a good old fashioned counselor with talk therapy is a great option to explore. You’re doing all of the right things, especially by confiding with your priest.
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