Is it Adultry or Adultry?

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marimagi

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My ex husband and I have been divorced for 23 years. We are both happily remarried.
The Church however, maintains that we are in adulterous relationships. If this is so, would it be morally acceptable for me to have “marital relations” with my ex/“real” husband?
 
marimagi said:
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 23 years. We are both happily remarried.
The Church however, maintains that we are in adulterous relationships. If this is so, would it be morally acceptable for me to have “marital relations” with my ex/“real” husband?
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Assuming you had a valid sacramental marriage (you were both Catholics, etc), and assuming that the sacramental bond cannot be broken, would good Catholic teaching be that you can cheat on your second husband with your first, because technically it’s not cheating, but honoring your sacramental obligations?
 
Interesting question, many would be in this catergory
 
And that is my point exactly. How can it be truly legitimate for me to :cheat: on my current husband with my ex? How can the Church hold to a position that is so rigid as to “permit” such an outrage? I think that the very thought of cheating on my current husband is morally repugnant, and that most people of good moral and common sense would agree. .
 
marimagi said:
And that is my point exactly. How can it be truly legitimate for me to :cheat: on my current husband with my ex? How can the Church hold to a position that is so rigid as to “permit” such an outrage? I think that the very thought of cheating on my current husband is morally repugnant, and that most people of good moral and common sense would agree. .
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From the standpoint of marriage, the first marriage is a marriage and the second is an affair. If you did not marry the second person but just lived together and then went back to your husband, would that be moral?

The complication is the civil marriage which is not just a document but a promise even if it’s not a valid marriage. Having sex with your valid spouse is not immoral but the deceit and breaking of trust that would be involved is not moral either. So, no, it’s not “truly legitimate” but it’s not** adultery **to have sex with the person to whom you were and are still married to.
 
But what isn’t so funny, is that technically it would be okay, even though it isn’t of course.
 
Corki said:
From the standpoint of marriage, the first marriage is a marriage and the second is an affair. If you did not marry the second person but just lived together and then went back to your husband, would that be moral?

The complication is the civil marriage which is not just a document but a promise even if it’s not a valid marriage. Having sex with your valid spouse is not immoral but the deceit and breaking of trust that would be involved is not moral either. So, no, it’s not “truly legitimate” but it’s not** adultery **to have sex with the person to whom you were and are still married to.
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Having sex with my “valid spouse” is not immoral? Do you hear how crazy this is?
Must the rigidity of the stance be maintained to the point of insanity?
.
 
marimagi said:
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 23 years. We are both happily remarried.
The Church however, maintains that we are in adulterous relationships. If this is so, would it be morally acceptable for me to have “marital relations” with my ex/“real” husband?
Click to expand...
With a question like this, it seems someones going to take exception to no matter what is said.

My question to you would be, why do men and women enter into holy matrimony at all? if it can be nullified at anytime for any reason through divorce?

In my opinion, while ever divorce is licit, marriage vows are not and thus need to be changed or else holy matrimony is simply a lie. May I ask, can you see the contradiction when it comes to your understanding and value of marriage here?

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
marimagi said:
Having sex with my “valid spouse” is not immoral? Do you hear how crazy this is?
Must the rigidity of the stance be maintained to the point of insanity?
.
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How is recognition of the sacramental marriage insane?

Is it not moreso to believe the second marriage is valid when it is not?
 
Mari,
Technically, it would NOT be ok. First, you would have to stop sinning in your current relationship. Then, Repent. Then, reconcile with your REAL husband. Stop trying to justify sin. Plain and simple. If you love God. Then our actions should reflect that. Now, I know this sounds crazy, but you need to trust that God being God knows more than you and is more wise than you. Crazy as it sounds that making the statement that God knows better than you. I would encourage you to move towards him, since he IS LOVE. He is the very definition of love.
 
marimagi said:
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 23 years. We are both happily remarried.
The Church however, maintains that we are in adulterous relationships. If this is so, would it be morally acceptable for me to have “marital relations” with my ex/“real” husband?
Click to expand...
Why would you want to…if you are “happily remarried?” 🤷
 
marimagi said:
Having sex with my “valid spouse” is not immoral? Do you hear how crazy this is?
Must the rigidity of the stance be maintained to the point of insanity?
.
Click to expand...
It IS immoral. But it’s not immoral because of the sex. It’s immoral because of the harm that it would do to someone who you have made a commitment to. If you really wanted to reconcile with your husband, there is a right way to do it. Simply jumping into bed with him, without dealing with the civil union is not the right, or moral way.
 
biggybig said:
I think she is ranting. Trying to justify her actions. sad…
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I believe this is a little unfair, as I believe we don’t know her circumstances and we don’t know how we would go if we were in her shoes.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
josh987654321 said:
With a question like this, it seems someones going to take exception to no matter what is said.

My question to you would be, why do men and women enter into holy matrimony at all? if it can be nullified at anytime for any reason through divorce?

In my opinion, while ever divorce is licit, marriage vows are not and thus need to be changed or else holy matrimony is simply a lie. May I ask, can you see the contradiction when it comes to your understanding and value of marriage here?

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
Click to expand...
My marriage vows mean everything to me. You see, I divorced the man who would not keep his vows 23 year ago; 23 years! I am now married to the man whom God has BLESSED me with; BLESSED! In my prayers, I never forget to thank Him for that,

Yes, I value marriage. And I know what marriage is. It is a real commitment between 2 people who love, support, respect, honor and value each other. It is my precious husband; the one who works 2 jobs so that we can have something for retirement, raise my (our) granddaughter, and save for her college education as well.

Jesus loves me and He knows who I am truely married to because He sent him to me. And THAT is what should never be put assunder.
 
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