Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?

[ZoeyBdo]

It’s all a family choice.

I’m a well educated woman who wouldn’t mind staying at home when my husband and I have children, for the sole reason that I think it’s important and personally don’t see the point of working if the money is just going to go to someone else to raise my kids.

IF we can afford it, that’s what we’ll do. Honestly, if I have the better job at the time, my husband might stay home. We’ve discussed it a few times. He wouldn’t mind either.

I know many stay at home wives who are college educated but have chosen to stay home for their families. It’s always a family decision, and not one to be entered into lightly.

Does that mean you have less “stuff”, yes, but you have MORE of what’s important!

 

[agnes_therese]

I equate women who dont work, without reason, as a pet. Yes thats my point.
Men now a days that wish for their women to be stay at home wive, and wife only. Not a mother to children as I stated earlier. Should get a cat.
Men of that vein are nothing more than control freaks.

Wow! Insulting people when you don’t know them, don’t know anything about their reasons or their circumstances . . .
Appalling. That’s the only word for it.

 

[LilyM]

It really is an issue that a couple can and must negotiate for themselves. Some women just do not have the temperament to be full time SAHMs. For that matter, the whole phenomenon of the SAHM is not all that traditional really.

For most of history wives, whether of wealthy rulers or businessmen or poor farmers, usually had plenty of work to do, whether running a large household or landed estate while hubby was off fighting, helping in the family shop or factory, working as a servant in the houses of the rich or out in the fields alongside the menfolk.

It was usually the grandmothers or other older female relatives, or paid nannies or governesses for those who could afford them, who did the bulk of the day to day childcare.

 

[floresco]

My point was, even if you are trying to take a swipe at my dead parents, that it was very common for that to happen that way.
My parents married in the mid 1950s.
Now not so much.
My ex wife and current fiance are both hard working people who are well educated.
I personally wouldnt have it any other way.
I equate women who dont work, without reason, as a pet. Yes thats my point.
Men now a days that wish for their women to be stay at home wive, and wife only. Not a mother to children as I stated earlier. Should get a cat.
Men of that vein are nothing more than control freaks.

You can look for the qualities you want in a wife, but that does not give you the right to be insulting to people who have made different choices than you. I am not taking a swipe at your parents, just pointing out that they are among those you are insulting.

My husband makes lots of money and there is no good reason for me to bring in any more income. Therefore I do not have a paid job. According to you, this makes me a lazy, uneducated pet and makes my husband a control freak. Why do you think it is ok to say things like this about people?

 

[Marybeloved]

In my country, our Bishops and cardinals have been warning that children are being raised by strangers and that it is not the best thing for us. When I was receiving formation, I remember being encouraged that in the future, after University, to seek work that was not too demanding and would not interfere with caring for children if I intended to get married.

I have always wanted to raise my own children and I cannot imagine a better scenario for me if I do get married God-willing, than one where I would be able to be the one raising my own babies (if God blesses me with them), at least for the most part or in large part, even if I had some help. I’m even right now trying to work out a career that would allow me to be the primary care-giver to my child if my future turns out that way. Caring for an ill relative has taught me recently that serving others in this way is the most joyful thing to a woman’s heart, even in very painful circumstances. I honestly would love nothing better.

 

[floresco]

This is only about respecting stay at home mums/wives. It does not say that wives should not work outside the home. It is a choice to be made by both husband and wife.

The quote from Familiaris Consortio answers the question posed by the OP and in the subject title: “Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?”

This phrase in particular, “society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family,” shows that the husband being the sole provider is both allowable and also ought to be an option for all who wish.

Pope John Paul II taught in this encyclical that wives should not be compelled to work outside the home. They should not be compelled by economic pressure, by social expectations nor by their husbands. It is a good thing for women to be at home. This choice should be valued and made possible.

 

[CRUE_CAB]

You can look for the qualities you want in a wife, but that does not give you the right to be insulting to people who have made different choices than you. I am not taking a swipe at your parents, just pointing out that they are among those you are insulting.

My husband makes lots of money and there is no good reason for me to bring in any more income. Therefore I do not have a paid job. According to you, this makes me a lazy, uneducated pet and makes my husband a control freak. Why do you think it is ok to say things like this about people?

From my experience that is what I see.
Lets just say, God forbid, your husband dies. Or is layed off or is disabled.
His good income goes to zero.
Something tragic happens, are you prepared to go out into the workforce and provide for yourself and kids if you have any?
Todays world can and will eat you up in no time if you are not prepared.
A marriage is a partnership. And if any partnership is to last, both parties must bring to the table the skills to carry the load if one partner goes down or has difficulty.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

.
I equate women who dont work, without reason, as a pet. Yes thats my point.
Men now a days that wish for their women to be stay at home wive, and wife only. Not a mother to children as I stated earlier. Should get a cat.
Men of that vein are nothing more than control freaks.

See, that is the problem with society today. The family, the home and caring for it has become extremely devalued, to the point of women who care for their homes and building a home have become considered nothing more than animals. It is shameful. It isn’t about men being control freaks when women stay home. They can be just as much of a control freak when they pull their wife away from her God given calling to be a wife and mother and homemaker and send them out into the world to bring in money to satisfy their need for material things, newer cars, bigger houses, big screen tv’s, videogames and on and on. Gotta keep up with those Joneses.

The point is people seem to equate work with work outside the home. Not taking into consideration that there is work that needs doing inside the home also. I could list it but I won’t. Some one once said if you want your husband to know what you do all day stop doing it, it will be seen.

1."But speak thou the things that become sound doctrine: [2] That the aged men be sober, chaste, prudent, sound in faith, in love, in patience. [3] The aged women, in like manner, in holy attire, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teaching well: [4] That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, sober, having a care of the house, gentle, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:1-5

The bold part is mine. In the New American Bible from the USCCB site the word is “homemakers.”

 

[Walking_Home]

The quote from Familiaris Consortio answers the question posed by the OP and in the subject title: “Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?”

This phrase in particular, “society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family,” shows that the husband being the sole provider is both allowable and also ought to be an option for all who wish.

Pope John Paul II taught in this encyclical that wives should not be compelled to work outside the home. They should not be compelled by economic pressure, by social expectations nor by their husbands. It is a good thing for women to be at home. This choice should be valued and made possible.

---

Yes – it comes down to choice. Just as it would be wrong – to compel/force a wife to work outside the home – it would be equally wrong-- to have structures that compel/force the wife to stay home.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

From my experience that is what I see.
Lets just say, God forbid, your husband dies. Or is layed off or is disabled.
His good income goes to zero.
Something tragic happens, are you prepared to go out into the workforce and provide for yourself and kids if you have any?
Todays world can and will eat you up in no time if you are not prepared.
A marriage is a partnership. And if any partnership is to last, both parties must bring to the table the skills to carry the load if one partner goes down or has difficulty.

Tragic things can happen whether your husband dies or not. If you are planning on living on two incomes and depending on both of the incomes and something tragic happens and you end up down to one income you could be facing a big problem in that situation also.

Unless you desperately need to, you should always live below your means, or the amount of money brought in and never depend on both incomes because there is no guarantee that they will both be there.

Finacial problems are one of the number one issues causing divorce today.

 

[CRUE_CAB]

The quote from Familiaris Consortio answers the question posed by the OP and in the subject title: “Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?”

This phrase in particular, “society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family,” shows that the husband being the sole provider is both allowable and also ought to be an option for all who wish.

Pope John Paul II taught in this encyclical that wives should not be compelled to work outside the home. They should not be compelled by economic pressure, by social expectations nor by their husbands. It is a good thing for women to be at home. This choice should be valued and made possible.

Thats great, and then there is real life.
In this country, no ones job is safe. Our economy is fragile at best and there is no stability.
Most of us have enough to go a month or two on savings after a disaster or long term illness.
It would be grand if the wives could stay home and make a lovely home for us when we get home with dinner made and the bed fluffed up.
But that is of time gone by. We aint the Cleavers.

 

[agnes_therese]

From my experience that is what I see.
Lets just say, God forbid, your husband dies. Or is layed off or is disabled.
His good income goes to zero.
Something tragic happens, are you prepared to go out into the workforce and provide for yourself and kids if you have any?
Todays world can and will eat you up in no time if you are not prepared.
A marriage is a partnership. And if any partnership is to last, both parties must bring to the table the skills to carry the load if one partner goes down or has difficulty.

Just because a woman does not have an outside job at the moment, certainly does NOT mean that she doesn’t have “the skills to carry the load.”
I suggest you work on your preconception that anyone who makes different choices than you is wrong/lazy/a control freak/a pet.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Yes – it comes down to choice. Just as it would be wrong – to compel/force a wife to work outside the home – it would be equally wrong-- to have structures that compel/force the wife to stay home.

Exactly. Thank you.

It really is an issue that a couple can and must negotiate for themselves. Some women just do not have the temperament to be full time SAHMs. For that matter, the whole phenomenon of the SAHM is not all that traditional really.

For most of history wives, whether of wealthy rulers or businessmen or poor farmers, usually had plenty of work to do, whether running a large household or landed estate while hubby was off fighting, helping in the family shop or factory, working as a servant in the houses of the rich or out in the fields alongside the menfolk.

It was usually the grandmothers or other older female relatives, or paid nannies or governesses for those who could afford them, who did the bulk of the day to day childcare.

This. Many people don’t seem to realize that the ability to stay at home full-time without producing income for the family is an incredible privilege that the vast majority of families - now and in the past - simply can’t entertain. And it’s not for the trite reason trotted out so often on these forums: that the couple expects a lavish lifestyle. For the majority of families it’s simply of matter of economic survival.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

The quote from Familiaris Consortio answers the question posed by the OP and in the subject title: “Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?”

This phrase in particular, “society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family,” shows that the husband being the sole provider is both allowable and also ought to be an option for all who wish.

Pope John Paul II taught in this encyclical that wives should not be compelled to work outside the home. They should not be compelled by economic pressure, by social expectations nor by their husbands. It is a good thing for women to be at home. This choice should be valued and made possible.

Nothing in his statement says that the Church prefers men to be the sole income provider. He says it’s “allowable,” not preferable. Here it’s termed, as it should be, as a “choice.”

 

[Diana_Catherine]

My ex wife and current fiance are both hard working people who are well educated.

I know many women who are well educated and hardworking, who after getting married and having kids no longer feel called to be in the outside world working. This is something if you are planning on marrying should discuss completely because many times a woman loves her career and never plans to leave and then when married feels the call from God to be a homemaker and no longer wants to work but stay home and care for the children and that can sometimes be many years of her being at home.

Besides that women who stay at home can be just as hardworking and well-educated.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

The quote from Familiaris Consortio answers the question posed by the OP and in the subject title: “Is it allowable for a Catholic husband to be the sole provider for his wife?”

This phrase in particular, “society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family,” shows that the husband being the sole provider is both allowable and also ought to be an option for all who wish.

Pope John Paul II taught in this encyclical that wives should not be compelled to work outside the home. They should not be compelled by economic pressure, by social expectations nor by their husbands. It is a good thing for women to be at home. This choice should be valued and made possible.

Totally agree.

 

[floresco]

From my experience that is what I see.
Lets just say, God forbid, your husband dies. Or is layed off or is disabled.
His good income goes to zero.
Something tragic happens, are you prepared to go out into the workforce and provide for yourself and kids if you have any?
Todays world can and will eat you up in no time if you are not prepared.
A marriage is a partnership. And if any partnership is to last, both parties must bring to the table the skills to carry the load if one partner goes down or has difficulty.

Even though I am only a mindless pet, I have figured out that my husband is not immortal. Of course I am prepared to face whatever scenarios might come about. However, I am not planning to get a job I neither want nor need on the chance that it might be useful if something were to happen to my husband.

My husband and I have been married over 30 years. I do not think I need advice from you on what makes a marriage last.

 

[Cider]

eh, not even taking the bait here. Enjoy your single life.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

Even though I am only a mindless pet, I have figured out that my husband is not immortal. Of course I am prepared to face whatever scenarios might come about. However, I am not planning to get a job I neither want nor need on the chance that it might be useful if something were to happen to my husband.

My husband and I have been married over 30 years. I do not think I need advice from you on what makes a marriage last.

 

[CRUE_CAB]

Tragic things can happen whether your husband dies or not. If you are planning on living on two incomes and depending on both of the incomes and something tragic happens and you end up down to one income you could be facing a big problem in that situation also.

Unless you desperately need to, you should always live below your means, or the amount of money brought in and never depend on both incomes because there is no guarantee that they will both be there.

Finacial problems are one of the number one issues causing divorce today.

At least if you have the other income you can keep a roof over your head.
You certainly will have to cut back somewhere, but the basics can be taken care of.