Is it alright for someone single to adopt a child in need?

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stina

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This does not apply to me right now, since I’m only a teenager, but if I never find a man I want to marry in my lifetime, would it still be appropriate for me to raise a child as a single parent through adoption. I want a family more than anything and if I do not find a husband, I would still like a child, especially one who needs a home. However, I have been told that that would be depriving the child of a father-figure which is incredibly important. The way I see it is that at least the child would have a parent, even if it is only one.
I know I don’t have to worry about this right now, but just our of curiousity, would it be appropriate?

Thank you! 🙂
 
I agree with you. I’m 51 and never married. If I felt that I had the strong family support to give a child the security they need, I would have liked to have adopted a child as a single parent. If you have a supportive father and/or brothers, they can be wonderful father figures for a child.

My father was a very poor father. He didn’t understand what was needed of him. Unfortunately, I only had one grandfather (who was also distant in his relationships) and no uncles, but they would have been 1,000 miles away, most likely.

It all depends on your individual situation. Don’t fool yourself into thinking the only YOU can give a child everything it needs. It just doesn’t work that way.
 
There’s not an easy answer. Personally, I think many single parents who adopt tend to do so for selfish reasons, i.e. “I want to have a child” and don’t consider the importance of a father (or mother) in that child’s life. Maybe that’s a matter of perception, though.

I do know of one single mom who adopted a child from Eastern Europe, and is a great mom. Methinks she would have made a great wife for some lucky guy, too; it’s been a while, maybe she’s been married by now.

I guess I would advise for a person who is not ready to think about marriage/family quite yet, to think about marriage first, then a family, whether it be by adoption, or birth, or both!

Obviously, the child’s welfare must come first; it that child better suited to be raised in a family environment, or by a single parent?

Good question. 👍
 
I think it’s a great idea, especially if you are looking into adopting children whom others won’t adopt. There are a lot of older children, and children with disabilities not being adopted. Isn’t it better to have them in a single, loving, stable home, then being bounced from foster home to foster home?

Kim
 
Absolutely single parents can and should adopt children, especially those who are special-needs. We need more people who are willing to shoulder that responsibility.
However, keep your options of finding a good husband open. There are plenty of men out there who would make a good husband and it IS better for children to have two parents.
My daughter and her husband have made the decision to adopt their children rather than have their own, feeling that God has called them to be parents to children who otherwise wouldn’t have a home. I think this is honorable, as long as a couple is also open to life, which they are.
 
Just throwing my two cents in…I’m a single foster mom. Right now I have a 22-month old boy and a 20-month old girl, and last week I got a call for a 5 year old and a 2 year old! (I had to say no.) There are many children in foster care who need a loving, stable home.
 
geauxtigers said:
Just throwing my two cents in…I’m a single foster mom. Right now I have a 22-month old boy and a 20-month old girl, and last week I got a call for a 5 year old and a 2 year old! (I had to say no.) There are many children in foster care who need a loving, stable home.
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As I understand it, there are many kids in foster care but relatively few available for adoption. Kids may have been removed from an abusive or neglectful home, but parental rights have not yet been terminated or voluntarily given up, so they are not available for adoption. Some parents try for years to “get their acts together” but don’t, for whatever reason, so the poor kids linger for years bounced from foster home to foster home. (Of course, fostering kids in a loving, stable home is a worthy vocation, too!)

I believe healthy babies of any race are immediately snatched up by adoptive parents, but older children, children with special needs (medical, emotional/behavioral, etc.), sibling groups, etc. are harder to find adoptive parents for. Maybe it would be more ethical to let easily-adoptable kids go to two-parent families, but let the harder-to-adopt go to a single parent rather than no parent at all? Just my opinion: two parents (father/mother) are better than one, but one is better than none.

I don’t mean to pry into personal matters, but how would a single parent financially support himself/herself while caring for a young child? (Is that my SAHM bias showing?) Work at home? Paid child care? Adopting / fostering older, school-age children, I guess?

I have no personal experience in these matters, so I welcome geauxtigers’ and others’ (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
This is something that I’m considering as a single, never-married woman. I hoped to marry while still in childbearing years, but that appears to have passed me by. However, it appears that I may soon be blessed with the financial means to care for a child(ren) on my own. I’ve always hoped to adopt at least one child even if I had biological children. Now I want to adopt a sibling group where all or most of them are school-aged. Even before I became Catholic and pro-life it used to make me upset to see people spending $100,000 or more trying to “make” a biological child while so many living children had no one.

Someone asked how a single parent would care for a child as compared to a married couple where one could stay at home. My answer is that many people who are married may as well be single. My family was military, so my mother had us “alone” for 18 months at a stretch on more than one occasion when she was pregnant and already had at least one child to care for. She got the help of extended family and friends.

Lots of people have made fun of Hillary Clinton for saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” However, I believe that is the best thing that I’ve ever heard come out of her mouth. (It was not her original idea anyway.)

In my family we have always relied upon pur large, close-knit extended family to assist anyone who had a new baby (staying with them in shifts for the first few months) or who was struggling in some way. We also have a strong network of friends who will pitch in. I have thought about “hiring” a younger single relative to be a part-time live-in nanny to make sure any kids I adopted would always have me or someone responsible at home with them before and after school. This way the “nanny” could have a home, a stable income and insurance while having time for their own interests such as college. I could have reliable help with the children for when I had to be at work and help a relative through school. At this point in my career I also have fairly flexible hours, so I can come and go for doctor’s appointments and school things also.

Not ideal to be a single parent, but I think that I could do better as a single person than a foster home or a crummy biological family. I probably have way more time to spend with a child than most kids see of their working parent (and for some of their non-working parent).
 
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