Is it always condemned for men to look at women?

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The difference is that many - not all, but many - women aren’t moved as much by visual stimuli as men are.
A lot of women respond more to reading a sexy novel, or to an overall situation, than just seeing a man whom they think is good looking and desirable walk down the street, or to seeing the same man naked or near-naked.
There are, of course, exceptions. Some women are more visual.
Also there are women who can use a picture or a video as a trigger to fantasy, but they usually have more to the fantasy than just “there’s a hot man, proceed with lustful activities”.
 
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That is very true!

This is a difference between the two genders that is often misunderstood. I think it is true when I say most men have failed to understand women sexually for a very long time.

In marriage I think this is important, as the Church says sex is both unitive and procreative.

I’d love to read John Paul II’s Theology of the Body sometime. Especially since I’m getting married next spring!
 
You make a number of statements that are simply untrue.

If everyone followed according to your interpretation, we’d all be married to someone unattractive to us.
 
Scott84 said:
I would argue both men and women are sexual. For the longest time it was perpetuated (I’d argue mostly by Protestants) only men enjoyed sex, women hated it, and sexual frustrations were seen as a “man” problem. That is simply false a false view.
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In fact, someone here once pointed out that historically, women were seen as the more lustful sex. They were seen as temptresses of virtuous men, which can explain some parts of the OT.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
The difference is that many - not all, but many - women aren’t moved as much by visual stimuli as men are.
A lot of women respond more to reading a sexy novel, or to an overall situation, than just seeing a man whom they think is good looking and desirable walk down the street, or to seeing the same man naked or near-naked.
There are, of course, exceptions. Some women are more visual.
Also there are women who can use a picture or a video as a trigger to fantasy, but they usually have more to the fantasy than just “there’s a hot man, proceed with lustful activities”.
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No Catholic should lust. We are family, so that means we are sisters and brothers. That’s incest. We shouldn’t lust. Man or woman.
 
Looking is not sinful. Intentionally lustful thoughts are. I have to admit that whenever men say they have a problem with seeing a beautiful woman. In my area I do not see a lot of handsome or pretty people. Wonder in what place are all these people are with so many attractive women to struggle with lust. Most people i see are just meh it is just an opportunity for penance to be thankfulnfor.
 
No one is saying that people should lust.

We are having a discussion about whether “looking at” the opposite gender causes people to have to fight off sexual feelings.

Please read the posts with comprehension.
 
That’s what I’m talking about. If I look at my sister, even if she’s ‘dressing immodestly,’ I’m not having ‘sexual feelings.’ She’s my sister. We should not lust.
 
We’re all in agreement on the point about not lusting. So I am not sure why you quoted my whole post.

Whatever…
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
We’re all in agreement on the point about not lusting. So I am not sure why you quoted my whole post.

Whatever…
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OK whatever, but I’m not sure we agree what lust is. It’s coveting, that’s one thing, and it’s also “inordinate desire,” which is what the problem is if I’m experiencing “sexual feelings” for my sister. That’s incest. We ought not do that.

And this isn’t ‘scrupulosity,’ which is a word I’ve never heard of before, but a concept with which I am very familiar personally in multiple ways.

So that’s why. Because lust is “inordinate desire.” There’s good desire and there’s lust, and lust leads to grave matter, and good desire doesn’t. We shouldn’t lust. We’re family.
 
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That’s all fine, but again, you replied to my post quoting the whole thing, and the point you’re making has nothing to do with what I was posting about.

I’m leaving the thread because I am not following this discussion and it’s frankly making me uncomfortable that you seem to have taken a post about something I wrote to another poster, about a different issue than this one you are going on about, and decided I needed a lecture about lust and scrupulosity. It’s a bizarre interpretation of my post. If you did not mean to respond specifically to my post but just post a thought to the thread generally, you should not have quoted my post.

I do not need to be told what “lust” is much less be in “agreement” with you somehow on it. I wasn’t debating the definition of “lust”.

Leaving now, have a nice day. Bye.
 
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But Jesus said in the Bible that we won’t be married in Heaven, so everyone else seems to think there won’t be any form of romantic intimacy up there at all. Or is there?

In reference to reply about fiance hoping she’d be with him in Heaven.
 
As others here have said in similar words:

Not feeling anything towards the opposite sex doesn’t mean that you have the virtue of purity. It means you have a medical condition.

For a sexually and spiritually healthy man, if anything, women become more beautiful than ever before, or at least that has been my experience over the years as I went from an irreligious man to a Catholic. So you see a pretty woman and you think to yourself, “Wow, she is really pretty” without ever mentally going into the gutter or ‘checking her out’. And then you go about your day without ever losing your inner peace or being hit with all sorts of temptations.

But if you do happen to be hit with all sorts of temptations, it doesn’t mean that you’ve sinned. It just means that it’s time to immediately cut off that train of thought and to go to God and trust in him.
 
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There’s such a thing as Communion of the Saints. It won’t be about body related, but spiritual love, the source of which is God - Love. We all hope to be with people we love, and are loved by in Heaven, not to be married in heaven, in the same sense as we are married here.
 
Sexual desire is a normal feeling that healthy human beings experience.
Lust is when sexual desire becomes self-seeking (“have sex with me or I’ll find somebody who will”) or even (“I can’t be bothered to form a relationship with an actual human being who might disappoint me, so I’ll retreat to my fantasy world of internet porn”)
 
fin said:
… I have to admit that whenever men say they have a problem with seeing a beautiful woman. …
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In the mind of the beholder, the observed may be regarded merely as an object for pleasure.
 
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes

Nothing wrong with having sexual desires. Unless you sought for it by dwelling on these thoughts.

When you have desires, you basically redirect it away and move on instead of fixating on it.
 
Does this mean you believe Heaven is a non-physical place in general?
 
I believe a few things about it - it exists outside time, it’s magnificent, mostly because you can be with God; and God is infinite but not material (the Son had a normal body, now that body is glorified and defies physical laws - like you can go through the walls and move with the speed of thought - angels can do that too). That doesn’t however give me the assumption that everything is spiritual there - God is omnipotent as well, and sovereign - He can do as He wills. Saint Paul says, it’s nothing like what the eye could see or the ear could hear etc. Saint Therese of Avila said, that compared to Heaven, everything here is dung and mud. Those are very strong words. Does that mean there is no matter there, or is there? It doesn’t follow.
In fact, I don’t care! All I want is to be with God - that’s Heaven to me. Do I want my loved ones there! Absolutely! I want everyone there. But even for my children - I want it for them not only and mostly because we love each other, but because they’d be with God too, and I can’t imagine anything better than that. Actually, there’s nothing better than that (my heartfelt conviction).
 
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