Is it at all possible for a priest to marry us?

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God is the rock on which to build your house. Put God at the center, make Him the foundation of your life, and life will be easier. You can’t build your life yourself and then squeeze God into it wherever you think He’ll fit.

You should be able to find a solution that doesn’t take so long or require you to stop cohabitating by talking with a priest and explaining your situation. However, even if you can’t, have patience and trust in God’s timing. You have gone this long without being married, what is a little more time to start doing right by your relationship? Things will get better.
 
We assumed he needed to be catholic. That priest told us he technically didn’t need to convert, but my fiance still wanted to convert anyway so he did.
 
OK, if he actually wanted to that’s different. If he would have out of assumption, that’s another thing.

I’m not Catholic and my wife and I have been together over 20 years.
 
Floridagator1 said:
The only option I’m being given is to wait another 1 and 1/2 years before this can be possible,
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No that’s not correct I think I did not word that properly-- My mother can be here in April 2020, which is why I wanted to be married then. BUT A priest will not marry us that early. My home parish said the earliest we can be married is fall 2021 because of the steps we have to go through.
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Calling this parish and that parish will not get you anywhere.

You are a member of the parish inside whose boundaries you live. Parishes are geographical. So, call the Diocese if you must, but, find out where is your true home parish.

Step 2, go to the office during business hours, or call during business hours, and get registered with your official parish. When you register, make an appointment to meet with Father. You do not have to give details, simply that you have a sacramental matter that you need to speak to your Pastor or associate about.
Floridagator1 said:
Being that I’m already 36 with fertility problems I would prefer to be married before I’m 38 years old.
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This is going go sound a little harsh, and I wish I could say this over a cup of coffee and a scone, but, as you are having marital relations (the reason you know you have fertility issues), I do not see that as a pressing reason to get married in 90 days. Again, as your sister in Christ, I would advise to live as brother and sister until you are married in the Church. A wait of 6 months, in the big scheme of things, does not seem to make a valid wedding unthinkable.
 
Floridagator1 said:
Should I try other priests at other churches?
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Okay so I just got off the phone with my home parish priest finally (have been trying to contact him all week)…
He said our bishop will not allow anything less than the 8-month pre-cana course (called a will to marry? or something).
He said this is non-negotiable. He said they do not accept the abbreviated courses. He said this bishop does not make exceptions except for maybe a terminal illness or something, which this is not.

I asked him his opinion about a courthouse marriage with convalidation, and he said that is my option or waiting a year. He said all priests in this area answer to the same Bishop so getting married sooner than a year is not on the table for me. Can this be true?

What should be my next step? I’m so lost and devastated.
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It is not a wait of 6 months but over a year. Just for the record we seldom had relations (not in the last 3 years). I know of fertility problems because of a doctor’s appointment and they gave me a fertility test.

I just spoke with my pastor (finally) and he said the bishop never allows abbreviated courses or exceptions. I’m devastated
 
Floridagator1 said:
As a good catholic I’d love to be married by a priest before we start a family. The only option I’m being given is to wait another 1 and 1/2 years before this can be possible, so you see I think that will make having children even harder. I would appreciate any suggestions if a priest can marry us sooner than this.
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I am not understanding why you think that your wants, your desires and your schedule as a good Catholic matter any more than anyone else and your posts come across as you think you are somehow entitled to circumvent the normal way of doing things.

No one here can give you the answer you want to hear. Make an appointment with your parish priest wherever you are registered. Speak in person. If you find that you have to wait, accept it. Like everyone else does.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh. But you are being totally unrealistic in how you are going about things.
 
Yes, I suspect FSSP priests have a healthy skepticism about diocesan hoop-jumping.

Aren’t they the ones who let people join without jumping through the RCIA hoops? You can meet with a pastor, like in the olden days?
 
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Jen95 said:
Yes, I suspect FSSP priests have a healthy skepticism about diocesan hoop-jumping.
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I think that’s quite a suspicion to have, given that they only come to a diocese on the invitation of a bishop and obey him as their local Ordinary.
Jen95 said:
Aren’t they the ones who let people join without jumping through the RCIA hoops? You can meet with a pastor, like in the olden days?
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There is no set in stone requirements about RCIA. I myself could have probably received my Sacraments earlier than the usual time done in RCIA, and I went to an OF parish run by the diocese. As far as I know, the pastor’s job is to make sure that I am (was) sufficiently formed, not that I stay in RCIA for X amount of months.
 
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It looks like that is my only option. It is more than 8 months though because I have to be confirmed first. The earliest we will be able to marry is fall 2021 I was told. I’m just devastated but thank you
 
Well I just checked and there is indeed a FSSP church in Naples FL where the OP lives. At this point she could try to contact them as a last resort.
 
aroosi said:
Well I just checked and there is indeed a FSSP church in Naples FL where the OP lives. At this point she could try to contact them as a last resort.
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If that is diocesan policy, I sincerely doubt the FSSP will flout it. They do not need that kind of a reputation on their name.
 
I have to be confirmed also. Where I used to live, our old priest said that was not a problem. But it’s a problem here. I don’t know why but I’m telling you what I was told, that at the earliest it will be fall 2021 for me.
 
I am skeptical too but I don’t know them well enough so maybe they really have a totally different approach in this situation.
 
aroosi said:
I am skeptical too but I don’t know them well enough so maybe they really have a totally different approach in this situation.
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I’m no expert on them, but I have attended a few of their parishes. It doesn’t sound like something they’d do. If anything they’d probably incur the ire of the bishop by disregarding the diocesan policy on pre-cana, and that is something they’d want to avoid.
 
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When you were on the phone with three priest, did you all how long confirmation would take and if you can do that at the same time as pre cana?
 
There is no canonical reason you cannot be Confirmed before you are married. You are a baptized, practicing Catholic (aside from the cohabitation, right?)

Looks like May is the next pre marriage retreat in your Diocese

Marriage Preparation Schedule And Registration - Diocese of Venice

As part of the marriage preparation process, all couples preparing in the Diocese of Venice are asked to make a retreat. These one day events are an opportunity for couples […]
dioceseofvenice.org dioceseofvenice.org

Here are the forms for your diocese:

Marriage Preparation Forms - Diocese of Venice

Below you can find the latest forms and documents.
dioceseofvenice.org dioceseofvenice.org

And an overview

dioceseofvenice.org

Marriage - Diocese of Venice

“The sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his […]
dioceseofvenice.org dioceseofvenice.org

I would start with a meeting next week to begin Confirmation Prep. Remember, the Canon Law clearly states:

Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience. (CIC 1065)

www.catholic.com

Do I Need to be Confirmed to be Married in the Church?

While it is not an absolute requirement that Catholics be confirmed before they are married in the Church, confirmation before marriage is something the Church...
www.catholic.com www.catholic.com

There is a way to approach this, and if the pastor is making it an inconvenience, you can find recourse.
 
Jen95 said:
Aren’t they the ones who let people join without jumping through the RCIA hoops? You can meet with a pastor, like in the olden days?
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I was received into the Church at a regular OF diocesan parish…all I did was meet with the pastor one on one and then the bishop came to town and confirmed me.
 
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