Is it bad that I don't take part in the sign of peace?

[Brian_K]

I do recall several times feeling a little awkward as a single guy when I shake hands with attractive women. Try as I might to avoid it, there I am for at least a brief moment wondering if they’re available. A few women have simply kept their hands folded and nodded and offered peace, which seemed like it sometimes might be a wise things to do.

 

[Thomasbradley312]

I attend a Latin Mass parish and only the clergy do the sign of peace. It makes sense, as they act in Persona Christi .

They only do that at solemn high mass. Unless you mean an OF Latin Mass, but I assume you mean EF.

 

[Thomasbradley312]

Your friend would be good to read the history of the Church or the apologetics and the rationale of why the Catholic Church is Christs bride on earth as opposed to a sign of peace dictating whether or not he or she will go back. That is not evangelization. The sign of peace is not about that at all.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

In some Asian countries people don’t shake hands, they either nod and smile

I work in one archdiocese and the vast majority of people there will wave, nod and smile rather than shake hands. I think this is because many Masses are multicultural and there are people at them who do not shake hands, so everyone got used to doing the Sign of Peace in a way that everyone could tolerate.

In another diocese where I spend a lot of time, the majority of people shake hands and will look confused if you do not.

 

[Limoncello4021]

I disagree. Yes it would have been great if my friend picked up books of Catholic theology. However what he needed at the time was simple human kindness, which goes much further in bringing Christ’s love to others.

 

[Brian_K]

I can say that my home parish is known pretty widely throughout the city for being very friendly and welcoming, and it just so “happened” that God drew me there rather than a more formal one that was the same distance from my house. These people seemed to have something that was missing in my life, and it made me willing to keep coming back and to learn more about the faith. And I still struggle sometimes with not fitting in or feeling misunderstood, so I can only imagine how your friend felt when he was rejected and am very sorry to hear that happened!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Your friend would be good to read the history of the Church or the apologetics and the rationale of why the Catholic Church is Christs bride on earth as opposed to a sign of peace dictating whether or not he or she will go back. That is not evangelization. The sign of peace is not about that at all.

Why would you as a Catholic make such a cold response in view of someone who was put off and hurt by another’s behavior at Mass?
It seems to show a general lack of understanding of the feelings of others, which limits one’s success at evangelization.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

Think about whether the saints—Mother Teresa for example—would refuse at least a smile.

That’s a good point.

I remember asking a Bible-only protestant relative about this passage:
‘Greet one another with a holy kiss.’ - 2 Cor 13:12
Do you do this at the protestant service? she said no, never!

There are some protestant anabaptists who do kiss each other.

I felt like it takes my attention off the sacrifice of the mass personally.

Completely agree. I do not like the sign of peace either. I try to be as minimal about it as I can. We are new in a small town where lots of people are related, so it can get pretty crazy with everyone around us trying to make sure they shake everyone’s hands. At Sunday Mass I will shake hands with a few people and then stop and turn back to focusing on the altar while everyone else is still carrying on.
If it is during the week I am usually in a spot where I can just smile and not shake hands.

 

[halogirl]

I remember going to a Catholic Church I’m gonna say … ten years before I converted and being shocked how nobody smiled and greeted me at the door, people didn’t meet my eye. I didn’t understand how mass worked - they didn’t want to ask if I was saved or not or made a bee line for me as a new face. I also remember seeing little kids kissing a statue’s feet. I remember feeling equal parts left out and intrigued. Sometimes you all playing hard to get helps

 

[VictoriaAdAeternam]

The Priest may give the Sign of Peace to the ministers but always remains within the sanctuary, so that the celebration is not disrupted. In the Dioceses of the United States of America, for a good reason, on special occasions (for example, in the case of a funeral, a wedding, or when civic leaders are present), the Priest may offer the Sign of Peace to a small number of the faithful near the sanctuary. According to what is decided by the Conference of Bishops, all express to one another peace, communion, and charity. While the Sign of Peace is being given, it is permissible to say, The peace of the Lord be with you always, to which the reply is Amen.

The whole thing is optional, period, though up to the priest. Sometimes a priest will say “Dominus vobiscum” and after the response “Et cum spiritu tuo” go straight into the Agnus Dei. Language in the missal also suggests it’s optional though many priests don’t realize this or just disagree with the notion that it’s optional. I’ll usually just nod to those around me unless it’s family.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

There are two particular instances that come to mind when I think of the beauty of the sign of peace.

Once I was in Paris and went to Mass at Notre Dame. I was in a foreign country, didn’t speak more than a few words of French, and was at Mass with a bunch of strangers. When it came time for the sign of peace the woman next to me said, in heavily accented English, “peace…to you.” I suddenly wasn’t among strangers, but worshiping with other members of the Body of Christ. It was amazing.

Another time I was also at another parish. My mother was in the hospital and not doing well. I cried a bit from the beginning of Mass to the end. When it came time for the sign of peace the woman next to me leaned over and said “I’m praying for you.” She didn’t know what was wrong, but again used the opportunity to make a stranger feel welcome and included.

This part of the Mass can be a great opportunity to reach out – quite literally – to a stranger.

 

[Thomasbradley312]

Because the sign of peace is not meant to be a meet and greet. This is exactly what I have been turned off by it from. I am more worried about the reverence given to the Lord. Not human sensitivities at a sign of peace that , I don’t know any people around me on a personal level, I have nothing to reconcile with them over, and they wouldn’t even say hi to me outside of the mass so it is not a real issue to me.
This person could have approached this man and said hello after mass and I’m sure he would have been quite pleasant. Us worrying about some sort of peer pressure when the Lord is on the altar, our savior is fully present right on the altar; and I should he troubled with worrying about temporal things? I just do not agree with your logic here. And no offense to you I like a lot of your posts, I just disagree on this one.

 

[Dovekin]

Since everyone here is so fond of the NAB’s notes, I thought I would post the note about discerning the Body of Christ during the Eucharist:

The self-testing required for proper eating involves discerning the body (1 Cor 11:29), which, from the context, must mean understanding the sense of Jesus’ death (1 Cor 11:26), perceiving the imperative to unity that follows from the fact that Jesus gives himself to all and requires us to repeat his sacrifice in the same spirit.

The Sign of Peace is not a distraction from the presence of Christ, but repeats Jesus giving himself to all. If we do not recognize the Body of Christ in the People gathered, we are not likely to recognize him on the altar.

I do not say this to shame anyone, but to explain an aspect of the Eucharist that is not present in many minds.

 

[PHXsunsAZ]

I don’t care for it at all but I do it anyway. What I really don’t like is when the music director asks us to stand and greet our neighbor/introduce ourselves as mass starts. This is only at the Sunday evening mass, the mass with all the contemporary music of course. I really want to make a comment since we sit right next to the music director, but I choose to bite my tongue since my wife would probably smack me on the way home lol.

 

[godisgood77]

The sign of peace is a beautiful gesture during the celebration of the Catholic Mass.

It’s okay though if choose not to participate. Makes me a little sad for you, but okay nonetheless.

Peace

 

[Frankenfurter]

“If you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24)

Please consider then that the person who is offering YOU the sign of peace is in need of his own reconciliation with you, since at that moment you do represent for him the other people of his church.

However, if I tried to offer you peace and you ignored me, I would in now way take offense since you have every right to be lost in prayer. You are of course in need of God’s mercy and presence too. There are plenty of others around for me. If you all refused me, well then I would start to get worried!

 

[stpurl]

Just proves that some of us must be Canadian at heart (even if US by birth).

 

[MagdalenaRita]

While I agree with many comments that we must recognize Christ in those around us and the sign of peace is a sign of unity or a sign of us being reconciled with our neighbor, and it can be rude at times to not participate, I also agree with the OP that it does distract from what is happening at the altar.

Christ is now present on the altar, the tabernacle is open and instead of a simple sign of peace to those close to them, frequently people are getting carried away trying to make sure they shake as many hands as they can. Kids can get carried away with each other and start acting up. At one parish there was a middle aged to elderly man who would walk around shaking peoples hands and continue after most had stopped.

IMHO someone can recognize Christ in those around them and still not participate in the sign of peace if that be their decision.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You’re entitled to your opinion. I think you are overreacting to your dislike of the Sign of Peace though, and contributing to the image of the Church as cold and unwelcoming and legalistic. With that, as this is about the 500th thread on “I Don’t Like the Sign of Peace” that we’ve had on here, I’m muting this thread.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Please consider then that the person who is offering YOU the sign of peace is in need of his own reconciliation with you

This makes no sense. He cannot right a wrong with me if he has not wronged me and I don’t stand “in persona wronged” for someone he has sinned against. The verse from Matthew can’t be applicable.