Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)

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coolchevy

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Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
 
I think it is generally a pretty bad idea. Having done it, I certainly won’t even consider it now.
 
coolchevy said:
Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
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It depends where they are in their faith and where their parents are. I don’t see anything wrong with it. But, if her or her parents are militant, it may be difficult. Just ask God to help you make the right choice.
 
There are plenty of good reasons for a negative response, and there are some positive responses that are reasonable.
If one future nun had not dated a non-Catholic when they were teens, there might be one less Catholic in the world now.:signofcross:
 
If you are not right now dating a Protestant girl, I would say save yourself the trouble. I offer my perspective, although I know many Catolic people are happily married to Protestant spouses and they might disagree with me.

I once dated a Protestant girl and we went to the Catholic church to mass. It was a little awkward, as she would not kneel down during the consecration when everybody else knelt down. But at least she was not vociferously anti-Catholic and in fact her mother was Catholic, although she was baptized and raised in Protestant church because of her father.

Next time I messed up a lot worse, dating an Eastern Orthodox woman. Soon I learned that they despise and ridicule the Catholic Church, the Pope, etc, and I was invited to convert to the EO Church. I felt like doing it, b/c I thought they must have been right criticizing the same thing that Protestants do - the papacy. Fortunately I delayed and started to intensively study the disagreements - and I became convinced that the Protestants and EO are both in error, and amazingly, the much-maligned Catholic Church, with our Eucharist (“a piece of wafer” to many Protestants), Virgin Mary and saints (“statues, idol worship, why not go to Christ directly” to Protestants) and the Pope (“that tyrant” to both Protestants and EO) happens to be the true Church, free of doctrinal error, as Jesus Christ intended it.

Which leads me to my next point: should I date a Protestant woman and end up marrying her, do I want my children to be baptized and raised in the true and error-free Catholic Church rather than any other Christian denomination? You bet I do!

For the above reason, to me, it seems much more hassle-free not to get involved with anyone else than a deeply committed and serious Catholic woman. Oh yeah, and both the EO woman and her Church members refused to listen to my arguments that they are wrong, and the Catholic Church is right, even though I did my homework scrupulously and wanted to show them what’s written in the Gospels and what’s the record of the early Church Fathers and early undivided Church that supports every single disputed claim and doctrine of the Catholic Church… I had to learn they were so cemented and blinded in their anti-Catholic animosity, trying to convince them with logical arguments was akin to St. Stephen the first martyr trying to convince his brethren that Jesus was really the Messiah, and he ended up being stoned to death (although the EO did not stone me, I must admit). Well perhaps my experience was too harsh and uncharacteristic. On my cousins’ side, the father is Protestant, the mother is Catholic, they do not fight and alternately attend Catholic and Protestant churches on Sundays. But my cousins are officially Protestant. I wouldn’t want that, either, for my children. I want them to be both officially and deep in their hearts Catholic and solidly grounded.
 
Dating someone of another denomination or religion is difficult. I speak from experience; I have been dating a Jew for two years.

It’s better to find someone of your own faith. This cuts down a lot of arguing and bickering that the two of you will have. Also, what happens if the girl you end up dating is the girl you want to marry, and she wants to raise your children in a different faith? Are you prepared for that? This involves a lot of soul searching. You need to decide how much your beliefs matter–or if other beliefs can work well enough with your beliefs that you can give a little.
 
Ideally, it would be best to secure a spouse, who would share religious values.

Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world.

Most protestants are good and decnt people, the sort who would make good neighbors.

I, for one, believe it better to find a good spouse, than to find none at all, even if not Catholic.

It is best to date and marry a person with compatible religious beliefs, but that may not always be possible.

No, it is not a bad thing to date a non-Catholic, even if it is not the first choce.
 
coolchevy said:
Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
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The South? Tried girls with Cajun or Spanish names? Descendants of French or Spanish people are supposed to be Catholic. Sure, doesn’t mean they’re practicing, but the odds may be better. Same as Irish or Polish in the North, I guess.

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Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)
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My experience is that it’s taxing, you aren’t on the same page on a number of things… and so on. But with a type that’s both pious and not militant, some things are much easier (up to the point of agreement on childrens’ upbringing). At any rate, if you cast your net, I would cast it among Catholics. If you meet a good Protestant girl by chance, don’t turn her away, though.
 
coolchevy said:
Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
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It is imprudent to do so.

And, geography should not be an impediment. I think sometimes people use it as an excuse-- I lived my whole life in the south and met plenty of Catholics. If you cannot meet anyone in your area that you think is a suitable marriage partner, you can meet someone via a Catholic website these days.
 
Hi, I live in the South also. My first husband was Catholic and the marriage was a horror story. Divorced and annulled after 18 years and two children who still have problems. My second husband was agnostic when we started dating, baptized Presbyterian as a child. He became my best friend and attended Mass with me every time we visited. When we married he was still non-Catholic.
The next year he went on his own initiative to RCIA. I accompanied him and learned a lot even though I’m a cradle Catholic. We’ve been married 19 years and are both EME’s and Lectors. Sometimes it works out very well. It just depends.👍
 
I had the same problem when I moved to the Bible Belt area, and I ended up marrying a Baptist. I put a lot of thought into the decision, and I decided that it would be appropriate for me for a few reasons:
  1. My sweetie believes that all Christians can be saved. Therefore, he is not insistent that I convert.
  2. We discussed Catholic issues about three months into our dating relationship, as soon as we realized that we were becoming serious. He was very respectful of even the most difficult teachings–no contraceptives, raising the children Catholic, ect.–and agreed that he would follow them. He even wanted our children to go to a Catholic school.
  3. He was obviously a good family man who would support me and be devoted to our future children.
  4. He didn’t mind going to Mass with me, although he also goes to his own church services.
A few problems we’ve encountered:
  1. He just doesn’t get NFP, although he’s willing to work with me.
  2. He doesn’t believe that penances are necessary, and it’s difficult to fast when your husband wants to go out to dinner that night!
  3. Now that we have a little boy, I wonder if he’s going to have enough Catholic influence. You have to remember that not only will your spouse be non-Catholic, but your in-laws will be too.
Anyway, just remember that your faith is more important that any relationship. The person certainly should not hinder your faith in any way–and I do admit that there aren’t many Protestants who would be as accomodating as my sweetie is.
 
coolchevy said:
Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
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I can only tell you from personal experience - DO NOT DO IT.

If you are serious about your Catholic faith, you are heading for trouble dating a non-Catholic. Serious trouble. The kind of trouble that puts you in a relationship for years, only to break up over something you knew was going to be a problem from the start.

I know it seems hard when you really like someone, but just don’t allow yourself to date them.
 
coolchevy said:
Is it bad to date a non Catholic (protestant)? The reason I am asking is because where I live it is SOOOOOOOO hard to find Catholic girls (I live in the south) my age. I am just asking in general I dont have anyone in mind right now lol.
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Oddly enough almost every girl I dated in HS and College was Catholic and I was Protestant.

I was definitely open to joining the Church though if though I would not truly understand what that meant until many years later when my family and I became Catholic. (the woman I married was Protestant as well - Baptist).

He is what I would say… if they see the Catholic Church as another Denomination then go for it. While they are definitely wrong in that understanding, they are open to learning more.

However if they are, and especially if their families are, those people who believe we Catholics worship idols, are the Whole of Babylon and the Pope is the Anti-Christ then you probably don’t have a lot of chance at being able to raise your children Catholic.

Unless of course you really know your apologetics and are up for a big and lengthy debate that you probably won’t win with the older members of her household anyway… 🙂

There was research done recently that with the continued proliferation of the “Bible Churches” that 70% of “Christians” now believe that there really is no set group of beliefs you have to have in order to be a Christian. As long as you read your Bible, God will tell you what you need to know.

This my friends is VERY scary… it of course is the formulation of 500 years of Protestantism taken to it’s ultimate level.

You do not want your Children to grow up and and be taught this nor the other extreme which is everyone else is bound for hell (or some grouping of the two)

These type of beliefs also lead to the rise of Cult Leaders…

Look for a woman who is Catholic or at least Open to being Catholic. You would probably be safe with Presbyterians, Lutherans, Methodists and Anglicans 🙂
 
jwashu said:
Oddly enough almost every girl I dated in HS and College was Catholic and I was Protestant.
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I remember a Wiccan girl who admitted that there was something special about Catholic guys.
 
Wow, where did you folks meet your Catholic spouses? When I was single, I couldn’t have gotten a Catholic guy to notice me even if I was on fire! :bigyikes:

At one point I gave up and started looking at becoming a lay missionary. I still prayed though: “Please God, send me someone who isn’t a drunk, drug addict, gambler, womanizer, lazy, doesn’t have any kids, has never been married, and has never lived with anyone and who will love me for who I am.”

And God sent me a…Protestant.
 
mantilla410 said:
Wow, where did you folks meet your Catholic spouses? When I was single, I couldn’t have gotten a Catholic guy to notice me even if I was on fire! :bigyikes:
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Do I look like a married fellow? 😛
And God sent me a…Protestant.
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They are Christians too and sometimes very good ones. Not their fault they were born in a religion based on an error from several hundred years ago.
 
Chevalier, couldn’t figure out how to multi-quote on here but to your first response: HAHAHAHA!!! You’re a funny guy!!!

Second response: You’re right. He’s a good man and has never had objections to raising the kids Catholic. I’m still working on him. Help me, St. Monica!

I am of the belief that I since I forgot to include in my prayer, “…and make him Catholic, please God”, that you do indeed get exactly what you ask for. 😉
 
Is it bad to date a Protestant? Well, that depends on your goals in life. If you WANT to date a Catholic, and share the same faith as your spouse, and raise your children in the Catholic faith, then yes, it would be a bad idea to date a Protestant.

Same advice if the situation was flipped and you were a Protestant: dating a Catholic wouldn’t make much sense and would be a bad idea. Why create problems in the future?

When I was a teenager, a Protestant friend of mine and I got chummy :love: (only to the holding-hands stage), but I brought things to a halt when I realized that having a romantic relationship with someone that I would never marry was a disservice to both he and I. My faith came first and it was essential for me to build any romantic relationship upon it for it to be solid like a house built upon rock.

I recently had a Catholic friend marry a Protestant, and they are a nice couple. But mixed marriages always make me wonder :hmmm: how each spouse views their own religion, and how much importance they give to it.

In any case if I were the OP and wanted to date/marry a Catholic, I would not settle for a second choice. The people you are looking for are out there… just look and pray twice as hard for them. People thought I had too high of standards for a spouse and would never find someone, but I stuck to my guns. Lo and behold, he came along. Even if he hadn’t, I would rather live unmarried than lower my standards.

I will say a prayer for your endeavor. :gopray2:
 
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