Is it bad to want a child?

[foxc1]

I have been practicing NFP for a few months and hubby and I decided it wasn’t time yet to have children. We are not doing well financially and we are going thru some rough times in our marriage. My problem is that I love children, and I want children but know we cannot afford to have a child now. We make too little money, it’s only enough to afford our house and the bills. I know we cannot afford having a baby. I work in a place where I have no benefits and am considered self-employed. I’m afraid leaving my job would cause a really bad financial hardship. My husband will have to leave the US for a few months until we know if he gets his residency approved. When he leaves, and if we had a baby, we would lose our home. Aside from all this I really want a baby. Sometimes I think it’s good we’re waiting since we believe God is not calling on us to have a child as of yet, aside from the financial situation, I am not very mature. I cannot even take care of my animals at home. How could I take care of a child?

Recently, I felt the urge of having a baby. I see babies and I am IN LOVE. I feel as though I am doing my hubby wrong for wanting a baby when we obviously cannot afford to have one. We’re faily newlyweds, so hubby also sees it as having more time to get to know each other. I know the right thing to do is to wait but I really want a baby!

 

[Della]

It’s only natural for you to want children. But, don’t become obsessed with the idea. You don’t want to be in love with an idea–one that you can’t fulfill at this time. It will only drive you crazy. Give this suffering to God every day until you can have children in your lives. IOW, as hard as it is, you have to endure by an act of your will and through the grace of God.

Is it possible for you and your husband to find a less expensive house, to budget your incomes and plan for a baby? If you make a plan with a definite date in mind, you will be less frustrated.

 

[vluvski]

Just want to echo everything Della said. My husband and I would love to be able to start our family now, but our situation indicates we are being called to wait.

Remember, though, that if you and DH had a baby despite all of these concerns, you would not be committing any sin by doing so.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I have been practicing NFP for a few months and hubby and I decided it wasn’t time yet to have children. We are not doing well financially and we are going thru some rough times in our marriage. My problem is that I love children, and I want children but know we cannot afford to have a child now. We make too little money, it’s only enough to afford our house and the bills. I know we cannot afford having a baby. I work in a place where I have no benefits and am considered self-employed. I’m afraid leaving my job would cause a really bad financial hardship. My husband will have to leave the US for a few months until we know if he gets his residency approved. When he leaves, and if we had a baby, we would lose our home. Aside from all this I really want a baby. Sometimes I think it’s good we’re waiting since we believe God is not calling on us to have a child as of yet, aside from the financial situation, I am not very mature. I cannot even take care of my animals at home. How could I take care of a child?

Recently, I felt the urge of having a baby. I see babies and I am IN LOVE. I feel as though I am doing my hubby wrong for wanting a baby when we obviously cannot afford to have one. We’re faily newlyweds, so hubby also sees it as having more time to get to know each other. I know the right thing to do is to wait but I really want a baby!

Please do not feel bad for wanting children, I think that it only natural. I would also say that if you wait until you can “afford” a child, you may never have one. Have you seen the cost of college these days? I have said this several times before, having children is not expensive. My DW is pregnant with our 4th child and we live very modestly as she is a SAHM and I am not setting any records for income in a year. We trust that the good Lord will bless us.

The love of a child is priceless.

 

[maria29]

I would start setting aside any extra money now. We got pregnant on our honeymoon, and while we had insurance we had no savings at all, I had taken a 6 month maternity leave, and it actually left us more in debt (and this is living on the bare essistentials, like food So definitely now is the time to to start to save.

We have friends that would buy a pack of diapers a week, (all various sizes) so they would have a stockpile when it was time for the baby to come. She did the same with clothing (gender neutral since she didn’t know what she was having) …

I highly recommend the savings too, especially if you don’t have insurance. We had complications in our pregnancy that required me to see a specialist 3x a week at 25.00 each time for 1 1/2 months. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot to some people but for us it was and actually still is.

Have you thought about what you’d do after the baby was born? Would you be a SAHM or would you have to go back to work. Look at your financial situation and see where you can cut any corners.

I also want to say please do use this time to get to know one another, like I said earlier we got pregnant on our honeymoon and I think that are first year and half of marriage was extremely hard because we got pregnant so soon. We had to adjust to living together, plus on top of that my DH had to deal with mood swings and depression from hell, hysterical crying fits etc. (I am the complete opposite when not pregnant and we really struggled.

 

[ltbpoe43]

I agree with many posters here. You sound very young and are a newlywed. Congratulations and enjoy being a new wife and maturing into a great relationship with your new husband.

Learn the skills of budgeting money, caring for one another and supporting each other. It sounds like things are stressful with the residency issue and that really needs to be settled first so that you have no worries when the time is ready.

It is natural to want to be blessed with a child. But we should also want to be blessed with the resources needed to care for this awesome gift as best we can. Don’t rush into this - there will be plenty of time. Take it in steps. Save when you can, budget the money and stick to it, clear up the residency issue, mature as husband and wife and be best friends to each other. Then sit down and have a discussion about starting a family. Good luck and God Bless.