Is it better for a woman to change her last name at marriage?

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Ghoti said:
BTW, on a side note, in Jewish society legitimacy is traced through the mother, not the father; I assume because while you can never be sure exactly who the dad was, you always knew who the mom was.

I mean, can you imagine?

Doctor: Ms X, your blood test came back. You’re pregnant.
Ms X: (gasp) Is it mine??
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Actually, while the state of being Jewish or not depended on the mother and land was also inherited in female line at least at some point, please note that one belonged to the same tribe as his father and tribes were descended from the sons of Jacob. The line of the kings - the house of David - was also patrilineal.
 
I think it depends upon the name. If it is an awful name then I would say keep the better of the two names.
 
Linnyo said:
I think it depends upon the name. If it is an awful name then I would say keep the better of the two names.
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Define awful?

I think I’d rather that a wife of mine kept her own name for some other reason than mine “sucked.”:rolleyes:
 
Gisella said:
I’ve often wondered what most people think about this. My mother didn’t change her name when she married my dad, and people often seemed surprised. I’m not sure how I feel about the issue.
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I personally was excited at the prospect…it added to the idea of giving all of yourself to your spouse. I think if I’d kept my maiden name, I would have felt separated from him. Some people feel that you lose your identity if you give up your maiden name, but I think what you do instead, is add a new one. 😃
 
Gisella said:
I’ve often wondered what most people think about this. My mother didn’t change her name when she married my dad, and people often seemed surprised. I’m not sure how I feel about the issue.
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Chances are you have your forefathers name or your mothers fathers name already. You did not have a choice in the matter.

Now you are choosing to marry, why not take his name and give up your fathers.
 
Gisella said:
I knew someone with the last name Barf.
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I’m wondering what cultural origin that surname came from…if English, I’m wondering if it’s an unfortunate shortening of a name like “Barfoot” (which is a variation of “Barefoot”). Or if its possibly Norse, like the sobriquet “Fart”, which was borne by Oystein, a legendary King of Dublin.

Do you know of that name’s cultural origin? (And yes, I agree, I might be tempted to change it…)

Reminds me of a character on Hill Street Blues: “Vic Hitler, the Narcoleptic Comedian.”
 
Ghoti said:
I’m wondering what cultural origin that surname came from…if English, I’m wondering if it’s an unfortunate shortening of a name like “Barfoot” (which is a variation of “Barefoot”). Or if its possibly Norse, like the sobriquet “Fart”, which was borne by Oystein, a legendary King of Dublin.

Do you know of that name’s cultural origin? (And yes, I agree, I might be tempted to change it…)

Reminds me of a character on Hill Street Blues: “Vic Hitler, the Narcoleptic Comedian.”
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I wouldn’t really be considering the background of the name. I just know I would not want to be called Mrs Barf. Perhaps some men would like to take their wife’s name! Just a thought…🤷
 
Linnyo said:
I wouldn’t really be considering the background of the name. I just know I would not want to be called Mrs Barf. Perhaps some men would like to take their wife’s name! Just a thought…🤷
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Nobles do that sometimes, or people who marry into the nobility (getting more celebrated names for themselves or preventing the wife’s surname from extinction). Sometimes people of foreign origins have taken names of local wives. It’s a perfectly viable option, it’s just rarely done and it isn’t seen as very manly to do.
 
chevalier said:
Nobles do that sometimes, or people who marry into the nobility (getting more celebrated names for themselves or preventing the wife’s surname from extinction). Sometimes people of foreign origins have taken names of local wives. It’s a perfectly viable option, it’s just rarely done and it isn’t seen as very manly to do.
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I’d do it in certain circumstances and I am so manly I can braid my nose hairs.👍
 
I would’ve changed my last name. I would’ve been happy to change it since I don’t like my biological father. At one point in my life I was going to change it to my mom’s maiden name, but good thing I didn’t. My husband has my same last name, so I didn’t have to change my name at all 🤷 If I had changed my name before, I would’ve ended up with the same name in the first place… but I guess mine is a “special” situation.

If my DH’s last name was different, I would’ve changed mine.
 
I think I get it:o --does that mean that you think you’re so old (thus long enough nose hairs to braid?) that you are even ok with that (with what you were talking about in the other post)

I hope I’m right, anyways.😃
 
Potato1 said:
I’d do it in certain circumstances and I am so manly I can braid my nose hairs.👍
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I would add a wife’s surname no problem, but I’d never drop mine unless I had some reason to feel unconnected (I do, actually, but that’s another story - I would be able to take a new name after a place, but not really to take a woman’s ;)). I just don’t seem to be able to reconcile taking one’s wife’s name in place of his own and still being the head of the household. 😉 Just doesn’t feel right to me.
 
chevalier said:
I would add a wife’s surname no problem, but I’d never drop mine unless I had some reason to feel unconnected (I do, actually, but that’s another story - I would be able to take a new name after a place, but not really to take a woman’s ;)). I just don’t seem to be able to reconcile taking one’s wife’s name in place of his own and still being the head of the household. 😉 Just doesn’t feel right to me.
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I’m sure my mother would find that comment extremely sexist, but I agree. 😃 (how did my feminist mother ever raise such a June Cleaver-ish daugher???)
 
It’s a matter of personal preference, IMHO, but I like the expression of unity when the woman takes the man’s last name. Call me old-fashioned…but not so old-fashioned that I ever wanted to be addressed as “Mrs. John H” rather than “Carrie H.”
 
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