Is It Considered Disrespectful to Leave the Church Without Greeting the Priest? (Or At the Very Least, Waiting Until He Returns From Disvesting?)

[TimothyH]

LOL
This reminds of when my husband first visited the U.S. in his 20’s. He was astounded that the priest was at the door shaking hands with parishioners after Mass.
In Ireland, the simply disappear into the Sacristy. When we were there a couple of years ago for a funeral, the priest and the servers retired to the Sacristy and only the parishioners gathered on the grounds to chat.
It’s a distinctly American phenomenon.
At my parish, the more beloved the priest, the longer the line. Although I really don’t think he appreciate it when people monopolize his time when they should really make an appointment. He likes to say hello and move on to the next person.

It is not only an American phenomenon but a thoroughly contemporary one as well.

-Tim-

 

[Errham]

So, based on this thread, the correct response would be: Theoretically, no, but it’s probably dependent on local and often times individual parish custom more than anything else. Did I get that right?

 

[CuriousMike]

In my Parish, a itty-bitty one in a small town here in Australia, we have two Priests based in the next town. One (and sometimes two, for special occasions or grave matters) will visit every 2-3 weeks.

If we have a Mass on a Sunday morning, the Priest will join us for a coffee/chat in the little annex just next to the ‘main hall’ (Sanctuary?) after the Mass has ended.

Following a Mass in the evening, the Priest will greet each of us just outside the main entrance as we depart, people often congregate and chat here at this time, while they wait for ‘their turn’ with the Priest.

Recently, I visited a reasonably large Parish in the city. The lead-Priest of the Mass greeted people as they left, or proceeded to the Church’s bake sale for that day.
The others, presumably, were preparing for the next Mass or carrying out other duties.

So it seems as if every Parish has their own rhythm, depending one when the Mass happens, and what the local parishioners expect. What seems commonplace to some, may seem cold or ‘excessive’ to others.

 

[CatholicRaven]

So, based on this thread, the correct response would be: Theoretically, no, but it’s probably dependent on local and often times individual parish custom more than anything else. Did I get that right?

Sounds right to me.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

this custom came into being in the 1960’s and copies something that was done in Episcopal churches.The Episcopal Church definitely does this. Every parish I have belonged to has has this custom.

Where my husband and I go to church (Roman Catholic church), the priest is there after church to greet everyone.

 

[dmftx]

Meeting with a priest at the church door after Mass is a relatively new thing. I grew up attending a Jesuit parochial school and church in downtown Miami, Fla. during the late 1940’s and early 1950’s, and the priest never received parishioners after mass in the vestibule of the church. this custom came into being in the 1960’s and copies something that was done in Episcopal churches.

We have attended multiple parishes through my husband’s career moves and the one we currently attend is the first where RARELY does a priest or assisting deacon greet parishioners after mass. I am not one to have to speak at each service but I miss the opportunity to express how affected I was by a particular homily, etc. It saddens me.

I have a question because perhaps I have missed a change in the normal operations of a parish. We have two priests in our parish with a Wed. evening mass, a Sat. evening mass and 4 Sunday masses. I attend the Wed. and Sat. masses and they are served by different non-parish priests (usually retired priests) at least 80% of the time. Is that normal these days? I really enjoy the masses with our two parish priests and I am told this is the way it has been since the current pastor was assigned to the church. I don’t want to ask him or the other priest because I don’t want to sound critical or demanding. I am used to one priest assigned to a parish who served every single mass, or if there were two priests then they divided all the masses between them. This is really different for me. Just wondering…love my parish but miss the family feel when you are also seeing the priests a lot.

 

[Rosebud77]

here in Ireland the priest exits immediately and is never seen again. A few times when there ha been need I have gone to the vestry then.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

It’s not disrespectful to leave without greeting the priest. At least I’ve never heard that it was.

 

[GoGoDiego]

I would like to commend those priests who greet the congregation outside the church. Not like here in the Philippines, when after the Mass and after the priest has reverenced the sanctuary, he stays there to greet the people. It disturbs those people praying their thanksgivings after Mass. In cases like these, during the Sunday Masses, I leave immediately after it in order not to disrupt those who are in prayer.

During weekday morning Masses at the school chapel, the priest greets the people at the altar, on which the little children go up just to greet the priest (in the Philippines, we greet the priest not by a handshake, but by bringing his palm to our forehead which is known as pagmamano.) I finish singing the hymn first and when he leaves the chapel divested, I greet him there.

 

[Joy2day]

But according to some posters on this forum, if a woman on her own greeted the priest after mass, it might likely be a cause for scandal…

 

[Rosebud77]

I am in Ireland and our priests do greet us at the door leaving mass and I have seen it done in other parts of Ireland so I don’t know why people think we don’t do it here. our priest feels its a great way for him to get to know people and of course it been Ireland its usually the weather or hurling or football matches we talk about. I admit I don’t greet them every time as I may use a different exit but because of my work and it been a small town I probably meet one of our priests 3 or 4 times a week.

I am in Ireland and have lived in many counties and parishes and have NEVER seen this done… I have never seen a priest make any effort to get to know people. They just vanish. Now in my Anglican days this was the norm. But not here. I do not attach to any one Church here and would love to meet priests.

 

[Rosebud77]

this custom came into being in the 1960’s and copies something that was done in Episcopal churches.

The Episcopal Church definitely does this. Every parish I have belonged to has has this custom.

Where my husband and I go to church (Roman Catholic church), the priest is there after church to greet everyone.

Yep, anglican… Reminds me of a story my first Irish landlady recounted. One of her sons was working in the UK and of course went to Mass on the Sunday. When it was over he lined up to shake hands with the priest and commented how wonderful it was that wherever you wne tn the world, Mass was always the same… A silence then " This is an Anglican Church." Poor lad! But he said there were the Stations of the Cross etc and it was identical…

 

[MissRose73]

I don’t consider it disrespectful but most people at my parish church will quickly greet the priest on the way out after Mass as he stands at the open door as people exit through the main doors. Most churches I go to as a visitor do similar things as sometimes when at other churches I go to when traveling, I do introduce myself as a visitor, and 1 time after saying hello/good morning Father – the priest gave me a quick blessing before the 3 hour drive home I had to make.

 

[CuriousMike]

I am in Ireland and have lived in many counties and parishes and have NEVER seen this done… I have never seen a priest make any effort to get to know people. They just vanish. Now in my Anglican days this was the norm. But not here. I do not attach to any one Church here and would love to meet priests.

Perhaps it has something to do with more traditional societal values, or perhaps the common denominator (i.e. the Order the Priest belongs to) at play?

All the Salvatorian (Society of the Divine Savior) Priests I know of will stand at the door and greet people leaving, then return inside our Parish “kitchen” to join those staying behind for tea, coffee and maybe some cake and sandwiches.

Perhaps we’re just lucky?

On the other hand, some are very unwilling to go out into the community and meet the people. Luckily, our Parish Priest places a strong emphasis on the “door knocking,” which seems to have been working in our Parish. More of the locals are turning up. Hopefully they continue coming after their Children have had the Sacraments for the year!
It may also be that when people hear the Priest is visiting people, and involving himself more with the Parishioners, they feel he is more of a community man, not some stranger who locks himself away after his work for the day is done.

 

[Rosebud77]

Your last para applies… I have heard priests here called " sacrament priests." I once asked the sacristan of the local church who lived opposite the church if the priest visited her when she brought a disabled baby home, or since and the ladies in the room with us burst out laughing. Not once. I have never met a priest here either. Been here three years…