Is it even possible to work out this situation?

[GrnRC1]

After becoming engaged to a lovely person and agreeing to raise our children Protestant, I have become incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of abandoning the Catholic faith. It’s only been recently that I’ve gained an understanding of the major differences between Catholics and Protestants, and now I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. My fiance refuses to acknowledge much of what the Church teaches and is rather insistant about never becoming part of it, much less let our children be raised in such a way.

I’m feeling very helpless right now, b/c I love this person an awful lot and do not want to ruin our life together. I even agreed that I would leave the Church, but now that I have a better grasp on all the issues and implications, I am very afraid that if I keep my promise to become Protestant, I’ll live the rest of my life second guessing my decision to leave the Church and whether God is going to punish me for not sticking to what I believe.

Is it even possible to work out this situation? If so, how?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear G,

You are not helpless. It is important to remember that our feelings have nothing to do with what is right and wrong. It is right reason that tells us what choices to make—not feelings!

If you choose to leave the Catholic Church, knowing what you now know about it, you will do more than live your life, second guessing your decision, you will risk losing your salvation! This is a very serious matter. Once you admit the truth to yourself, there is no going back and acting as if you don’t know.

It is only by a gift of the Holy Spirit that you know the truth about the Catholic Church. The Lord has deliberately put His hand on you. The greatest gift we have is our faith. It is the greatest gift that parents can give to their children. If you proceed with your plans, you will deny your children the greatest gift you have to give them. To live day by day knowing this while denying your children will be a living hell.

If this man is not willing to allow you to live your faith fully, then you can know that God is not calling you to marry him—no matter what your feelings are about him.

You say that you don’t want to ruin your life together. Then don’t marry him. No matter which choice you make, you will suffer. Better to suffer a little while and know God’s favor, than to go against what you believe about Him and live a lifetime being miserable.

Meditate on the Lord’s passion. You will find strength there because you will grow in the realization of His love for you. Spend time before the Blessed Sacrament and you will know His peace. You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.