Is it ever appropriate to leave a parish?

[Joseph2009]

We have five children. One is in college, one is in public high school (no Catholic high school here), and three are in a Catholic school which considers itself to be a “just happens to be a Catholic school” … like an afterthought. The word Catholic is being slowly deleted from the school identity and does not appear in the school mission at all so as not to “offend” non-Catholics who attend the school – who are heavily recruited and who are not Catholic. The parish and the community are so tolerant of non-Catholics that even my praying the rosary is considered “zealous” and made fun of in public and at work (by Catholics), which gets back to my children.

Is it appropriate for me to uproot my family and hope to find a truly Catholic community in order to save my family’s faith? I’ve been told by a priest, a principal, a nun, and parish members that this attitude is “judgmental” and very against Catholic teaching, and that we should instead pray to “fit in here” and be a better part of what we have here. I feel very strongly that my family is being dragged down here instead of being lifted up. My influence is not wanted, even after trying for six years now. I am “too” Catholic. I am told I need to “lighten up.” I am very hurt and stressed out about this.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

You’re free to go to any parish that is recognized as a Catholic parish by the local ordinary where it is located. That means that you can indeed go to another Catholic parish if you wish. From your comments, it sounds like you would have to move out of your area to go to another Catholic parish – which you are free to do if you and your wife agree that it is in the best interests of your family to do so.

That said, before doing so, you might want to evaluate what exactly you are hoping for in a Catholic community, what expectations you have for a Catholic community, and whether or not it would be better for your family to remain where you are. For example, it is important to remember that no Catholic parish is going to be heaven on earth. You are always going to have difficulties, to one extent or another, when interacting with fellow human beings, including Catholics. Sometimes, when “people skills” and tolerance for minor annoyances are developed, what seemed an “unlivable” situation in one parish becomes livable. If so, you and your wife – who must be consulted and whose agreement obtained before uprooting anybody – may be able to avoid having to transplant your family.

Of course, if the problems of your current parish entirely outweigh any possible benefit you could imagine, then it might indeed be necessary to find a better (not a perfect) Catholic community.