Is it ever permissible to partake in Communion without Reconciliation?

[ScrupulousMonk]

Please forgive me if I am in the wrong forum or if this question is inappropriate

I have knowingly and willingly committed sins that are of a degree that require confession; however, I have been unable to go to Reconciliation mainly out of fear of my family finding out or being suspicious of what I may have done. I have considered scheduling a private appointment with my priest, but I have yet to find any time in my schedule that would allow me to leave the house without being noticed by my family and comply with all the classes and work that I have.

Also, I have been unable to refrain from partaking in Communion. I am afraid my family would be suspicious and ask why I remain seated in the pew instead of taking the Eucharist. If my family finds out what I did, I not only fear that they may think less of me, but that my sins would cause scandal and discourage them from living their lives in a holy manner.

Given the situation that I described to you, would it be permissible for me to still partake in Communion even though I did not take Reconciliation beforehand? I do go to Reconciliation, but we do it as a family every few months. While I am asking this question, may I also ask what situations, if any, would allow a person to take Communion without Reconciliation.

I would greatly appreciate your answer.

 

[bben15]

I would be more concerned with what God is thinking than what your family is thinking. If they judged you for your sins, then they aren’t being good Catholics. We all sin. No one is perfect.

Even if you can’t, I’m sure there’s a time where you can sneak off to confession.

God Bless.

 

[ScrupulousMonk]

to bben15

Thank you for your words, but I am also worried of causing scandal. I will not say much lest I commit the sin of detraction, but my family, and myself included, are “Cafeteria Catholics.” I wish to strive to be a good and true Catholic and my family has already seen this. I feel that, if they see me fail, then any drive to be good Catholics that were within them may diminish.

 

[bben15]

to bben15

Thank you for your words, but I am also worried of causing scandal. I will not say much lest I commit the sin of detraction, but my family, and myself included, are “Cafeteria Catholics.” I wish to strive to be a good and true Catholic and my family has already seen this. I feel that, if they see me fail, then any drive to be good Catholics that were within them may diminish.

Do you have a job? Would it be possible to confess during your lunch hour?

 

[jmcrae]

to bben15

Thank you for your words, but I am also worried of causing scandal. I will not say much lest I commit the sin of detraction, but my family, and myself included, are “Cafeteria Catholics.” I wish to strive to be a good and true Catholic and my family has already seen this. I feel that, if they see me fail, then any drive to be good Catholics that were within them may diminish.

Or, the opposite may happen - they may see that you don’t have to be completely perfect, to be a good Catholic - that the devout life is, in fact, humanly possible, even though sometimes we disappoint God and ourselves, and we have to go to Confession sometimes.

Regardless of what they think, though, you still need to go to Confession. You are not required to tell anyone the reason that you need to go to Confession.

If you made it a habit to go once a week “whether you need to or not,” then no one would suspect anything, if you were to happen to do something that you didn’t want them to know about.

Perhaps you could simply say, “I have made a decision to go to weekly Confession just like Blessed John Paul did, because I want to be as holy as he is.”

And then go.

 

[ScrupulousMonk]

to bben15

Well, I do get out of the house without raising suspicion, if that is what you mean to ask. But my classes overlap with the routine confession schedules at my parish. Not to mention, I commute to my classes and it is a 45 minute drive away from my home and my parish.

 

[ScrupulousMonk]

To jmcrae

Thank you for your counsel. I will work on mustering enough courage to go to confession even though my family may be suspicious of me.

In the mean time, may you answer my other question? Is there any circumstance that may allow one to take Communion without Reconciliation beforehand? I am now legitimately curious of this.

 

[jmcrae]

To jmcrae

Thank you for your counsel. I will work on mustering enough courage to go to confession even though my family may be suspicious of me.

You’ll be glad you did.

In the mean time, may you answer my other question? Is there any circumstance that may allow one to take Communion without Reconciliation beforehand? I am now legitimately curious of this.

I can’t think of any.

 

[bben15]

To jmcrae

Thank you for your counsel. I will work on mustering enough courage to go to confession even though my family may be suspicious of me.

In the mean time, may you answer my other question? Is there any circumstance that may allow one to take Communion without Reconciliation beforehand? I am now legitimately curious of this.

If a person was dying and was unable to speak, I think he would be able to receive the Eucharist. Of course, I think the Anointing of the Sick would have to be administered first.

 

[CB_Catholic]

To jmcrae

Thank you for your counsel. I will work on mustering enough courage to go to confession even though my family may be suspicious of me.

In the mean time, may you answer my other question? Is there any circumstance that may allow one to take Communion without Reconciliation beforehand? I am now legitimately curious of this.

If you have not committed any mortal sins, you don’t have to go to Confession before hand.

Your screen name suggests you may have a problem with scrupulosity. If so, it might be a good idea to discuss this with your confessor and follow his instructions about what is a grave enough sin to keep you from Communion or what is venial, and how often to confess.

God bless you.

 

[Sahara_DeSert]

At my parish, you can schedule a private confession with the Priest if your schedule does not fit the normal times of confession. Maybe you could try that.

 

[Bookcat]

to bben15

Well, I do get out of the house without raising suspicion, if that is what you mean to ask. But my classes overlap with the routine confession schedules at my parish. Not to mention, I commute to my classes and it is a 45 minute drive away from my home and my parish.

Just call and make an appointment That will solve all.

One can always do that

 

[Ruthie_again]

Another possibility: find a parish closer to your school. See is there is a FOCUS branch there, or a Newman Center. They may have facilities close to, or even on, the campus.

But, if you are (as you said in your first post) a “cafeteria Catholic,” you need to get yourself aligned with the Church’s teachings, too. To disagree with the Church about something fundamental, and act on that disagreement (such having sex outside of marriage or using birth control), then you are in grave sin. Read what the Catechism - the official teachings of the Church - says about it here.

I can help with some disagreements. I dealt with them as I was coming into the Church. Send me a PM, if you like. :yup:

 

[LauraThomson]

You need to tell your parents that you need to go to confession. They are just as imperfect as you are and expect you to fall into sin at some point. Confession was given to us for this reason. You should not receive communion until you go to confession. We all have to answer to God before we answer to men. If Jesus can forgive your sins, so will your family. We all make mistakes.

 

[RoseMary131]

I have knowingly and willingly committed sins that are of a degree that require confession; however, I have been unable to go to Reconciliation mainly out of fear of my family finding out or being suspicious of what I may have done.

Also, I have been unable to refrain from partaking in Communion. I am afraid my family would be suspicious and ask why I remain seated in the pew instead of taking the Eucharist. If my family finds out what I did, …

Given the situation that I described to you, would it be permissible for me to still partake in Communion even though I did not take Reconciliation beforehand? I do go to Reconciliation, but we do it as a family every few months.

It is no one’s business, not even your family, not mother or father or sibling… why you want to go to Confession or what sin you confessed.

If they are asking why you didn’t go to Cmmunion or why you did go to Confession… it is time for them to grow-up. They have no right to want to know why you decided not to receive Communion or why you want to go to Confession - nor what your sin is.

Be strong. You are a good young man who knows he should refrain from Holy Communion so as not to offend our Lord. You are a wonderful young man who desires to have your soul cleansed in the Sacrament of Confession.

No family should suggest that their family members go to confession only on the family’s scheduled time. That would imply that the entire family is only committing venial sins or else they don’t commit a mortal sin until its time for family confession day. Although family confession days are a good thing… expecting every family member to remain without mortal sins is not a good thing… not allowing family members to add other confession days is not good… asking what sins need to be confessed is not good.

Maybe your family won’t ask you any questions. Maybe they will be happy to help you get to confession.

Don’t let fear keep you from God.

May God grant you the grace to go to Confession soon. May God grant you the grace to discuss with your family that you want to follow your own schedule of confession as needed. May God grant your family the wisdom to know not to ask you your sins.

 

[Mark121359]

I have knowingly and willingly committed sins that are of a degree that require confession; however, I have been unable to go to Reconciliation mainly out of fear of my family finding out or being suspicious of what I may have done.

Also, I have been unable to refrain from partaking in Communion.

If you mean you knowingly and willingly committed mortal sins and refuse the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the reason you stated, then you should absolutely refrain from receiving Holy Communion! To receive Holy Communion unworthily is a serious abuse of the sacred body and blood of the Lord, and therefore a grave sin of sacrilege!

Peace, Mark

 

[RoseMary131]

I have knowingly and willingly committed sins that are of a degree that require confession; however, I have been unable to go to Reconciliation

Also, I have been unable to refrain from partaking in Communion.

I missed the part about “being unable to refrain” from Communion until Mark pointed it out.

If you have, in fact, continued to receive Communion, even once, while in a state of mortal sin - you must confess that as another mortal sin. You should confess how many times you continued to receive Holy Communion while knowing you were in a state of mortal sin.

If you have problems with being scrupulous - you need to share this with the priest at each confession.

It may be helpful that you make an appointment for this confession and discuss with the priest your misguided fear of your family knowing your sins. He may advice you how to help your family know you should not share your sins with them.

You might discuss with the priest the idea that you consider yourself a “Cafeteria Catholic.” He may have ideas to help you become a stronger Catholic. May God grant you all the graces you need as you are working hard to strengthen your faith.

God bless you on this journey.