Is it hard to meet someone in today's society?

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anon98328916

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I am in my late twenties/early thirties and I find it hard to meet someone that shares the same faith and views as I do. My Catholic faith is part of my life I find it hard in today’s society to meet someone who shares the same beliefs as I do. I have had boyfriends in the past and sure I could meet someone if I wanted to but it would be the norm nowadays to sleep with them after a few dates and move in together after a year or so and I really don’t agree with that cause of my beliefs. Does that make me seem weird? or am I just trying to follow and to do what Jesus wants? I can’t help but feel if I’m meant to meet someone I will?
 
I can’t help but think that there are more people out there that share your beliefs than you think. However, my philosophy was always that I didn’t need a whole bunch of people. I only really needed one. So I prayed for God to bring that one person into my life and help me be ready to meet him.
 
Today’s society is the same as previous versions, except that the sins are celebrated rather than hidden.

IMNAAHO

ICXC NIKA
 
I hate the saying, theirs someone for everyone. A lot of times we get disappointed (and I’m guilty of it bc I’m 31, and single) bc we meet someone and as we’re talking with them your like, umm this is not going to work.

Remember everyone is a good person, unfortunately not everyone is meant for everyone. I have high standards and you should too. If someone comes great, if not I believe is best to be single than to be with someone and live in hell. No need to be a martyr.
 
chero23 said:
I hate the saying, theirs someone for everyone. A lot of times we get disappointed (and I’m guilty of it bc I’m 31, and single) bc we meet someone and as we’re talking with them your like, umm this is not going to work.

Remember everyone is a good person, unfortunately not everyone is meant for everyone. I have high standards and you should too. If someone comes great, if not I believe is best to be single than to be with someone and live in hell. No need to be a martyr.
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You got a good head there amigo (a?).

Loneliness is a part of life, and the last thing anybody needs is to run from it into a bad relationship.

ICXC NIKA
 
anon98328916 said:
I am in my late twenties/early thirties and I find it hard to meet someone that shares the same faith and views as I do. My Catholic faith is part of my life I find it hard in today’s society to meet someone who shares the same beliefs as I do. I have had boyfriends in the past and sure I could meet someone if I wanted to but it would be the norm nowadays to sleep with them after a few dates and move in together after a year or so and I really don’t agree with that cause of my beliefs. Does that make me seem weird? or am I just trying to follow and to do what Jesus wants? I can’t help but feel if I’m meant to meet someone I will?
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It makes you sound Catholic. 🙂

It is great that you are trying to do what Jesus wants. 👍 Do some people think that’s “weird”? Sure. But those are not the people you need to impress anyway.

A lot depends on where you live. When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I was fortunate enough to be part of some great Catholic communities with lots of on fire Catholics that were in my age bracket. But it’s not like that everywhere.

More than just for finding a potential spouse, I think it is good to seek out faithful Catholics just for the friendship and camaraderie. It can be hard to meet people of like beliefs as we are outnumbered in the wider culture, but there are ways. Go to daily Mass. Get involved at your parish. That’s where you’ll meet the people who take their faith seriously. If your parish is small and remote, there are opportunities online, too. Not everyone is comfortable with that and you do need to be cautious, but there are a number of success stories as well.

Most of all, pray for opportunities for fellowship and for the eyes to see them when they present themselves.

God bless!
 
GEddie said:
Today’s society is the same as previous versions, except that the sins are celebrated rather than hidden.
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How true.

Don’t compromise your values, just keep your eyes open so you don’t miss when the right one trips into your life! Good Luck.
 
GEddie said:
You got a good head there amigo (a?).

Loneliness is a part of life, and the last thing anybody needs is to run from it into a bad relationship.

ICXC NIKA
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Hey GEeddie, I’m a guy. But you know, when you see a lot of people get married and not respect it, or people having kids and regretting who they had it with, you begin to think and telling yourself, I might sound like a hard guy, but I have high standards and I’m not going to date any girl just because.

I had a 4 and a half year relationship which ended over a year ago. I don’t regret but I don’t want to go back to it. I love women and I hope to get married one day, but, this is the only thing I tell God, please please let her be respectful, a person of good faith, loyal, family oriented, has a good head on her shoulders, has strong values and morals. I add, if I met a girl whose going to make my life miserable I rather not met her. I know I’m sounding selfish, but man, I have men and women being betrayed by their spouses, partner, and they suffer.

That’s why I say, have high standards, and if nothing comes your better off.
 
Yes, I think it is very difficult to meet people and establish intimate relationships in the culture we live in today. This is especially difficult if we have traditional values. The independent world we live in today makes us very hesitant to be vulnerable. In order to have a meaningful, traditional relationship that is in line with the gospel message, we need to be able to be vulnerable. Being intimate and vulnerable does not mean being sexual. It means trusting another person with our fears, our insecurities, or feelings. Yes, I think this is really hard for to do in today’s society. I think many people are very wounded, fearful, and distrustful for very valid reasons.
 
Yep, really, really, really, really hard. But not impossible. Either you have a guy out there somewhere, you’re called to the religious life (ie being a nun or a Consecrated woman), or a life of single-layperson…hood? I’m 16, so I have a ways to go to find my vocation, but I already know that God has a plan, and I’m simply not worthy to know it yet. Don’t give up, don’t lower your standards; my mother met my Dad right when she was giving up on the whole “marriage” idea. 😉 Carry on!
 
GEddie said:
You got a good head there amigo (a?).

Loneliness is a part of life, and the last thing anybody needs is to run from it into a bad relationship.

ICXC NIKA
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exactly.

for me personally, after one bad experience, I would rather be alone then with the wrong person

don’t compromise your values just to be with someone, it’s not worth it.

if they don’t respect you or are not helping you get closer to God, forget it
 
phil19034 said:
There are plenty of people like you looking for someone special on sites like
You might also want to check out the annual National Catholic Singles Conference at nationalcatholicsingles.com. Some people report good luck there, and some don’t.

Good luck and God Bless
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👍 for catholicsingles.com. If you want to find someone who shares your values, use a dating website that put the odds in your favor. My wife and I found each other on catholicsingles.com after unsuccessful experiences on more mainstream dating sites. I found that catholicsingles.com actually asked import questions about the importance of my faith and didn’t just focus on what movies I like (although it did ask that).

Just a little piece of advice. Don’t dismiss someone if you discover some cracks in their beliefs. You may be able to work those out. I’m thankful that my wife saw a good person at my core who just needed a little more education and reflection on what the Church teaches.
 
Another person could help me be true to myself. I suppose the dangers exist besides judging and being hypocritical, not so much being needy.
 
Allegra said:
Yes! We’ve been married almost four years and have two babies!
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That’s wonderful Allegra! Sorry, if I was prying in asking, but what you said was kind of suspenseful! I now remember you mentioning a husband in other threads and posts here… so I guess I should have known. What a sweet story!

You should pray for singles. 😉 😃
 
I remember reading about a priest, who through giving spiritual advisement and taking confession, came to the conclusion that most of his marriage age and minded parishioners hadn’t even been a relationship.

Here is a pretty good resource on the decline of marriage within the Church. blog.adw.org/tag/marriage/

This is truly becoming a crisis in the Church!
 
As a never married 45 year old, I find blaming singleness on being Catholic rather … misguided (can’t come up with a better word)

Jesus told us it was NEVER easy to follow him and I don’t think he was only talking about current society. Every generation has had its problems

And IMO a Catholic getting married does NOT all of a sudden making practicing the religion easier. I am sure there are a lot of devout married Catholics that are fed up with being mocked for having more than 2 children. So many posts about people fed up with being told they are ‘wrong’ for being pregnant again.

Then there is the Catholic who unfortunately is divorced. Society telling them ‘but Catholics don’t divorce’. Then there is the little old lady who is mocked because the only time she leaves the house is to go to church. There is the business person who looses his/her job for insisting on moral business dealings.

The list goes on…

Jesus never said it would be easy
 
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