Is it inconsiderate to ignore this person?

[jenlovesyu]

let me see, how to explain this without going off on a tangent…

I have been ignoring this guy for several weeks because I don’t feel comfortable talking to him or being around him. The last time we talked we were playing a “question game” through texting. It’s basically where you just ask random questions back and forth (ha I sound like I am back in high school)…anyways, the questions were pretty innocent until he asked a few questions like “have you ever done anything sexual with another girl” and “what kind of underwear are you wearing?”

I immediately just stopped talking to him. I don’t know if I should have just said I didn’t like those questions but keep in mind I am a weak-minded person who has a hard time expressing her needs.

There’s various other reasons why I feel uncomfortable around him. Like for example, him and his friends don’t have a problem with doing illegal type things. I don’t want to be judgmental but I don’t think he is the kind of person I should surround myself with. But at the same time he considers himself a Christian, and although he seems to lack an understanding of who God really is, it also seems as if God has planted a seed in him. But of course, it isn’t in my jurisdiction to try and convert someone. I pray for him and I feel like that’s the only thing I could/should be doing at this time.

Soo basically at least once a week this guy will text me a “hey what’s up” and I have been ignoring him. Do I owe him an explanation as to why I have been ignoring him for several weeks? I don’t have great social skills so forgive me if this is a stupid question…

God bless you

 

[IrishAm]

Continue to ignore him and offer no explanation. If he was asking the kind of questions you state, he certainly knows WHY he has offended you. And, if he doesn’t, that would be another reason that indicates he is the kind of person who should be ignored.

As Christians, we are not called to put ourselves in harm’s way by associating with those who would bring evil into our lives. That is how Satan attacks us!

You have made a good decision; stick with it!

 

[BadTurkey]

Do I owe him an explanation as to why I have been ignoring him for several weeks? I don’t have great social skills so forgive me if this is a stupid question…

No, you don’t owe him an explanation. If he keeps bugging you, I’d just text him to stop contacting you.

 

[SMHW]

Soo basically at least once a week this guy will text me a “hey what’s up” and I have been ignoring him. Do I owe him an explanation as to why I have been ignoring him for several weeks? I don’t have great social skills so forgive me if this is a stupid question…

God bless you

I think the best thing to do is be practical.

How do you know this guy? Do you run into him frequently in real life or is he mainly a “virtual acquaintance”? Do you hang out in the same group of people? Do you have reason to believe that this guy is interested in you as something more than a friend?

If this is someone who you really can just ignore then continue to do so.

But if are going to have relationship via mutual acquaintances or if he maybe thinks of you as a potential romantic partner then you may need to take a more active role in setting boundaries. If he’s just someone in a crowd you hang with then you might be able to just deflect his inappropriate questions and comments by saying things like, “I can’t believe you asked that!” in a tone of voice which suggests you presume he never really was expecting a serious answer. If he persists so do you with comments like, “Can you believe that some girls will actually tell guys things like that?” And I suggest you consider limiting texting games with people in the future because this sort thing happens way too easily.

If he’s looking at you as a potential girlfriend then you may have to very directly tell him you are not interested.

 

[dashso40]

You are not being inconsiderate…ignore and “run” from this person and do not speak to him again…

 

[Catholic1954]

You are correct; this is not the type of young man that you want to asociate with, he will only bring you trouble. You don’t owe him anything and he will lose interest soon and move on, just keep ignoring him.

 

[jenlovesyu]

Thank you gals/guys for reassuring me. I second guess myself too much, it’s kinda frustrating sometimes

I guess I just didn’t want to be rude…but I suppose asking someone inappropriate questions isn’t all too kind either…

Originally posted by SMHW:

I think the best thing to do is be practical.

How do you know this guy? Do you run into him frequently in real life or is he mainly a “virtual acquaintance”? Do you hang out in the same group of people? Do you have reason to believe that this guy is interested in you as something more than a friend?

If this is someone who you really can just ignore then continue to do so.

But if are going to have relationship via mutual acquaintances or if he maybe thinks of you as a potential romantic partner then you may need to take a more active role in setting boundaries. If he’s just someone in a crowd you hang with then you might be able to just deflect his inappropriate questions and comments by saying things like, “I can’t believe you asked that!” in a tone of voice which suggests you presume he never really was expecting a serious answer. If he persists so do you with comments like, “Can you believe that some girls will actually tell guys things like that?” And I suggest you consider limiting texting games with people in the future because this sort thing happens way too easily.

If he’s looking at you as a potential girlfriend then you may have to very directly tell him you are not interested.

I met him a long while ago when I use to work. I was only ever mutual friends with him and the other people that he hangs out with. He has mentioned to me before that he thinks I am attractive but he has never said he was interested or never showed that he was interested in being a romantic item. Either way, I don’t feel comfortable around him and I am just going to continue avoiding him.