Is It irrational to be unhappy with ones self?

[ChainBreaker]

I have struggled with depression for some time. But i have begun to realise that it is based on an irrational sense of self worth.

I have identified two fallacies in my thinking.

1. I keep telling myself that my existence is rubbish
2. i fear expressing my self in social situations for fear of revealing that i am in fact rubbish.

The reason i have identified these problems as irrational, is becuase i don’t actually have any objective basis for thinking these things. These are purely subjective responses based on my experience of how i have been treated by others. I have in fact been idolising the opinions of other people in relation to my self worth.

The point of this post, although somewhat personal and revealing, is that if i truly believe in God then it is irrational for me to be unhappy about my existence or value, and if you struggle with a negative thoughts about yourself, you should see those thoughts as irrational; and instead of seeking validation and love from other humans, we should instead seek our value in God and express our being according to the infinite value and worth that God gives us. I think true confidence can only come from this.

I think the most rational thing in the world is to think that you are great!!

 

[Bahman]

I have struggled with depression for some time. But i have begun to realise that it is based on an irrational sense of self worth.

I have identified two fallacies in my thinking.

1. I keep telling myself that my existence is rubbish
2. i fear expressing my self in social situations for fear of revealing that i am in fact rubbish.

The reason i have identified these problems as irrational, is becuase i don’t actually have any objective basis for thinking these things. These are purely subjective responses based on my experience of how i have been treated by others. I have in fact been idolising the opinions of other people in relation to my self worth.

The point of this post, although somewhat personal and revealing, is that if i truly believe in God then it is irrational for me to be unhappy about my existence or value, and if you struggle with a negative thoughts about yourself, you should see those thoughts as irrational; and instead of seeking validation and love from other humans, we should instead seek our value in God and express our being according to the infinite value and worth that God gives us. I think true confidence can only come from this.

There is nothing wrong in depression unless it surpasses your strength. I had very deep depression for several years and I get managed to get through it myself. Lets your thoughts beat you constantly. You will see how strong you become when you overcome your depression.

 

[davidv]

I have struggled with depression for some time. But i have begun to realise that it is based on an irrational sense of self worth.

I have identified two fallacies in my thinking.

1. I keep telling myself that my existence is rubbish
2. i fear expressing my self in social situations for fear of revealing that i am in fact rubbish.

The reason i have identified these problems as irrational, is becuase i don’t actually have any objective basis for thinking these things. These are purely subjective responses based on my experience of how i have been treated by others. I have in fact been idolising the opinions of other people in relation to my self worth.

The point of this post, although somewhat personal and revealing, is that if i truly believe in God then it is irrational for me to be unhappy about my existence or value, and if you struggle with a negative thoughts about yourself, you should see those thoughts as irrational; and instead of seeking validation and love from other humans, we should instead seek our value in God and express our being according to the infinite value and worth that God gives us. I think true confidence can only come from this.

I think the most rational thing in the world is to think that you are great!!

Your post reminded me of article 1 from the Catechism.

God, infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man to make him share in his own blessed life. For this reason, at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son as Redeemer and Savior. In his Son and through him, he invites men to become, in the Holy Spirit, his adopted children and thus heirs of his blessed life.

 

[Stephen_says]

In the scenario that you present, I think it is irrational to be unhappy with oneself, but that doesn’t mean that we can necessarily control the feelings.

I just spent two of the past four hours crying in my car because I am unhappy with myself, because I’m comparing myself to others. That’s completely irrational, and I understand that, but I can’t will it away just by thinking that it’s irrational. Human emotions are much more powerful than logic sometimes.

But is it irrational? I can be unhappy with myself because I have a feeling that I have wasted what God has given me, and I think that might be rational.

 

[AyJSimon]

I think the most rational thing in the world is to think that you are great!!

Believing in anything is only rational to the extent that there is evidence to support it.

 

[Mintaka]

It is normal to feel unhappy about failure or bad behavior, and it is rational to repent.

However.

It is more rational to repent, figure out what you did wrong, figure out how you can do it right, and then try again. If a chance has passed you by, then forget about it and move on. There is another chance to do something good, and you need your eyes open.

Think about somebody like a test pilot. They mess up as much as ordinary people, but they can do all that amazing stuff because they analyze their failures, move on, and keep trying until they do it right.

Like the Desert Father Palladius of Galatia said, “Put down the burden of self-reproach and pick up the burden of righteousness.” Keep moving and trying to do the right thing.

 

[GEddie]

Rational and irrational go together on the number line, and likewise in our human minds.

While rational thinking is necessary for solving scientific problems and solving disputes, sometimes being irrational is necessary just to remain alive.

Instinct and reflex are irrational. So is the vast base of our unconscious mind, which underlies the razor point of our intellect or conscious mind.

So even if unhappiness in any form is irrational, it is just as real and to be confronted.

ICXC NIKA.

 

[ChainBreaker]

In the scenario that you present, I think it is irrational to be unhappy with oneself, but that doesn’t mean that we can necessarily control the feelings.

Negative thinking can become a very bad habit that leeds to bad feelings. I think the brain learns how to respond to situations and things based on how you think of situations and things and then repeats. We see this in ex-smokers; when they are in a particular situation they experiece a strong temptation, a hunger for smoking.

While it may not be our fualt or in our controll that we feel a certain way, it does remain true that how we feel is mostly about how we have been thinking. I also think that this vicious cycle can sometimes impede our ability to think things through rationally or act competently when given a task or activity.

Its not a nice feeling to think that all this negativity is the result of how we choose to respond to the world, but i think that the solution is very much a matter of addmiting that one is addicted to irrational thinking in so far as ones sense of self worth is concerned.

I just spent two of the past four hours crying in my car because I am unhappy with myself, because I’m comparing myself to others. That’s completely irrational, and I understand that, but I can’t will it away just by thinking that it’s irrational. Human emotions are much more powerful than logic sometimes.

This is true. It doesn’t just go away. It is a process that takes time. Knowing that it is irrational is the first step. I didn’t know that it was irrational and thats why i ended up wasting and destroying most of my life. I see crying as one of the last lines of defense against negative thoughts becuase its a form of release. Its okay to cry; it’s neccesary.

But is it irrational? I can be unhappy with myself because I have a feeling that I have wasted what God has given me, and I think that might be rational.

I think there is a difference between being unhappy about sin and believing that your life is worthless. An irrational thinker will say that becuase they have sinned that now their life is worthless. But if that were true, God would not waste his time trying to save your life. The value and worth of your life is not dictated by how much you have contributed. You cannot earn your way into heaven like its a Job.

It’s rational to aknowledge behavior that does not reflect your moral dignity as a person. But you always have to believe in your value as a person nomatter what you have done. It does not matter what manner of evil you have done, your value as a living person is a given; it is not earned.

If you do not forgive yourself, sin becomes like a stain that you can’t rub off; not even in confession. It will torment you for the rest of your life.

It is irrational to become deeply unhappy and deppressed to the extent that it leads you to become useless to the world. We are here to serve love to the world. You become ineffectual in that act if you serve love with a frown. I believe that It impedes God’s ability to work through us.

We must destroy negative thinking if we are to become effective Christians.

 

[ChainBreaker]

Rational and irrational go together on the number line, and likewise in our human minds.

While rational thinking is necessary for solving scientific problems and solving disputes, sometimes being irrational is necessary just to remain alive.

Instinct and reflex are irrational. So is the vast base of our unconscious mind, which underlies the razor point of our intellect or conscious mind.

So even if unhappiness in any form is irrational, it is just as real and to be confronted.

ICXC NIKA.

I don’t really understand what you are saying.

Irrational thinking insofar as ones value is concerned is the very thought processes that leads to suicidal behavior.

 

[Aloysium]

. . . These are purely subjective responses based on my experience of how i have been treated by others. I have in fact been idolising the opinions of other people in relation to my self worth. . . I think the most rational thing in the world is to think that you are great!!

I don’t see how there can be an objective self-worth.

Your feelings are totally rational IMHO, as you identify, resulting from your interactions with people.

We act as mirrors for one another from the start. A baby is brought into the room; everyone “ooo’s” and “ah’s”. That sense of wonder exists in this new person and establishes the connection between the baby and the world of people. If it not present, something breaks in the connection, sensed as a defect in either oneself or others, most likely both. Another way we establish self-esteem is through idealizing. We find our goal, the person we want to be in another and seek to emulate them. In situations where, for example, there is alcoholism in the family, this process can break down unless there is a teacher or other close person to fill the role. In these situations also, there can be a deep sense of shame related to one’s family, sometimes in other cases one’s culture, that may affect the way persons feel about themselves.

Understanding and perhaps sharing these feelings and their origins as you are doing here is the way out, seeing them in the context of one’s life and not indicative of one’s true nature.

:tiphat: . . . takes off Dr. Phil hat.

What I find totally rational and true is the recognition that one is wicked. This has nothing to do with self-esteem however.