Is it is a mortal sin if I can't remember it happening?

  • Thread starter Thread starter grace68
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

grace68

Guest
My husband and I went to one of my best friends weddings this past weekend. I drank a little too much. When we got home my husband said that he seually aroused me, but when he tried to make love to me I told him no because I am in the fertile phase of my cycle and we are currently not planning on having another child. Well I can remember telling him I didnt want to make love, but I do not remember what happened before that. If I can’t remember is it a sin? Should I go to confession? I feel bad, but I really do not remember.

grace 🙂
 
Hmmm, this is an interesting one … getting so drunk that you don’t remember something that major could well be a sin in itself. Probably not mortal, though. But you were coherent enough to be aware of what phase of your cycle you were in … argues against being incapable.

I’m of the opinion that you should definitely confess the drunkenness and tell the priest that you possibly did the other while drunk. For your own peace of mind.
 
That is what I was thinking of doing. Thanks for the advice.

grace:)
 
SO what was the other sin, other than getting drunk?? You mean telling your husband that you didnt want to have sex? I didnt think that was a sin!
 
marybee said:
SO what was the other sin, other than getting drunk?? You mean telling your husband that you didnt want to have sex? I didnt think that was a sin!
Click to expand...
My understanding is that indulging in prolonged exual foreplay (and reading between the lines here it possibly even went further than that) with no intent to complete the act is a sin in itself.
 
I can’t even figure out what the question is! You don’t remember not having sex with your husband…and you want to know if that is a sin?? :confused:
 
Nancy,

I am sorry I did not pose the question better. My husband said that we did things that sexually aroused me, and that after when he want to have sex I said no. I really do not remember this happening. All I remember is that I did not want to have sex with him. I was just asking if you cannot remember this would it be a sin?

grace
 
grace68 said:
Nancy,

I am sorry I did not pose the question better. My husband said that we did things that sexually aroused me, and that after when he want to have sex I said no. I really do not remember this happening. All I remember is that I did not want to have sex with him. I was just asking if you cannot remember this would it be a sin?

grace
Click to expand...
Remember for a sin to be mortal you need to have full knowledge and consent. If you were pie-eyed from the booze, then you likely didn’t have full knowledge and consent of that particular sin. Getting drunk is a sin, one of the seven deadlies as it falls under the category of gluttony. I would discuss both sins with the priest in the confessional.

Not to open a can of worms, but your husband may have some culpability here, too. From what you described, it sounds like he wasn’t try to give himself to you in the marital union as much as he was perhaps trying to satisfy his own lust and maybe take advantage of your drunken condition.

On the positive…praise be to God for the sacrament that helps us confront our sins and get straight with the Lord.
 
So it is a mortal sin to drink? I guess it would be if you have way to much. I was going to confess it, but I guess I never realized how bad it was. I should have known that though.
Thanks for the advice David.

grace
 
grace68 said:
So it is a mortal sin to drink? I guess it would be if you have way to much. I was going to confess it, but I guess I never realized how bad it was. I should have known that though.
Thanks for the advice David.

grace
Click to expand...
Drinking is not a mortal sin…getting drunk is. For me, I know two drinks is my limit. Knowing that…if I have three, then I commit the sin.
 
Getting drunk is a mortal sin when one, on purpose, attempts to drink more than their limit. Sometimes, people do not realize different strengths of different drinks and feel fine at one moment and all of a sudden it hits them hard because they thought they were okay and not inebriated. If you with full consent and knowledge sought to let your inhibitions go and drink more than you should, then yes its a mortal sin, otherwise probably a venial sin for not attempting to check yourself.
As to your husband and you, if you do not remember consenting to being aroused, it was probably not a mortal sin. I suggest you get feedback from him about what happened, but I doubt it was if you had no rememberance of it. Unless you can say to yourself that you desired the pleasure, but not completion of the marital act, I cannot see it as a mortal sin. It sounds like you do not even remember the experience at all so I doubt it was a mortal sin. I do not know if it is still a sin when done under the influence of alcohol (obviously you punish people when they are drunk for crimes still) so you will have to discuss that with the priest.
 
I will definitely go to confession ASAP! I cant go tonight though, because my husband is working nights. I have to receive the traveling chalice for vocations tomorrow at 7am mass and I know that our priest does not do confession before that mass. Should I receive communion? There is an advent penance service this wednesday at our church, so I will try to go to that.

grace
 
grace68 said:
I will definitely go to confession ASAP! I cant go tonight though, because my husband is working nights. I have to receive the traveling chalice for vocations tomorrow at 7am mass and I know that our priest does not do confession before that mass. Should I receive communion? There is an advent penance service this wednesday at our church, so I will try to go to that.

grace
Click to expand...
If you believe that you are not in a state of grace, then you should wait until you go to confession before you receive Eucharist. From what you’ve written, IMHO, I haven’t seen mortal sin here since you didn’t seem to have full knowledge and consent of your action; however, I’m just some dude on the computer. Far better to search your own conscience and ask Christ for guidence. You could also go to masstimes.org, and see if there is a parish in your area that might offer confession this afternoon.
 
Or call your priest and let him know the situation. I am sure he would try his best to help out! Just because they only offer at certain times does not mean you cannot ask for a confession in special circumstances for just yourself
 
Wait a second. I don’t think you can totally pin this on the husband. Remember, he did want to complete the marital act with you and you said “no.” So, he was not just simply wanting foreplay for lustful reasons as someone posted. He wanted to complete the act so I think we need to give him the benefit of the doubt!!
 
Charybdis said:
Wait a second. I don’t think you can totally pin this on the husband. Remember, he did want to complete the marital act with you and you said “no.” So, he was not just simply wanting foreplay for lustful reasons as someone posted. He wanted to complete the act so I think we need to give him the benefit of the doubt!!
Click to expand...
Oh, I am not blaming my husband by any means. I believe he wanted to complete the marital act also. I do believe you are right. I do not want you to think I was passing blame on to my husband.

grace
 
grace68 said:
Nancy,

I am sorry I did not pose the question better. My husband said that we did things that sexually aroused me, and that after when he want to have sex I said no. I really do not remember this happening. All I remember is that I did not want to have sex with him. I was just asking if you cannot remember this would it be a sin?

grace
Click to expand...

If you might have committed sin X, but are not sure; ask yourself whether you have a habit of committing sin X. If you have a habit of committing it - mention it in Confession. If sin X is *not *habitual, it is morally permissible to give oneself the benefit of the doubt, and to judge that, on that specific occasion, one has in fact not committed it. If the sin is a vice (which is what a bad moral habit is), it should be confessed.​

If one does judge that one can prudently give oneself the benefit of the doubt, the fact that one is allowed to, does not mean that one has to; it is perfectly sound morally for one to decide not to give oneself the benefit of the doubt, & to confess X on the ground that one might have committed it; even if one is not morally certain that one has in fact done so on a specific occasion. Moral certainty (“I’m pretty sure, all things considered, that I did X”) of having sinned is sufficient for one to be morally obliged to do so - certainty beyond all possible doubt is neither necessary nor prudent. The virtue of prudence helps us to acquire self-knowledge, which means that it becomes easier to avoid both being too lax in our examinations of conscience before Confession, and, so strict that we tie ourselves in knots by being afraid we’ve sinned in everything we’ve done. A wise confessor can be of enormous help to us in this respect.

Habitual sins should be confessed, because they give rise to further sins: someone who overeats very seldom, is not an habitual glutton; but if he does become habitually gluttonous, the habit of gluttony is going to be tougher to uproot than if he had no habit of gluttony. To confess habitual sins, helps to uproot the bad moral habits & the sins they give rise to.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top