Is it just my area?

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Tweedle_Dee

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I grew up in a very different Christian religion which vilified Catholics to some degree. I have since left that group and have been church shopping for quite some time. Without exception, every time I’ve attended a Catholic church the congregants and clergy appear to be the least happy, least friendly of all the churches I’ve been in contact with. For a “high” church, the congregants are the worst dressed and the music is the most praise-band type.

I’m not trying to just criticize, but I’m genuinely interested if that is just my area (Oregon) or everywhere. I grew up having this picture of what a Catholic church would be like having watched all the Hollywood portrayals and listening to chant, etc. I really wanted to love it. I was so shocked at how different it was at the places I’ve attended. It was a real turn-off. I have since found an Anglo-Catholic parish that is exactly what I thought most Catholic churches would be like: incense, chant, great organ music, friendly welcoming atmosphere, etc.

I will admit that I haven’t been to every Catholic church in the area and that there is at least one I know of which regularly has sacred music as part of the liturgy. Oh, and I really like Mt. Angel Abbey. But the typical parish church and the one cathedral I visited are very different from my experience. I’ll just go grab my flame suit now…
 
Tweedle_Dee said:
I grew up in a very different Christian religion which vilified Catholics to some degree. I have since left that group and have been church shopping for quite some time. Without exception, every time I’ve attended a Catholic church the congregants and clergy appear to be the least happy, least friendly of all the churches I’ve been in contact with. For a “high” church, the congregants are the worst dressed and the music is the most praise-band type.

I’m not trying to just criticize, but I’m genuinely interested if that is just my area (Oregon) or everywhere. I grew up having this picture of what a Catholic church would be like having watched all the Hollywood portrayals and listening to chant, etc. I really wanted to love it. I was so shocked at how different it was at the places I’ve attended. It was a real turn-off. I have since found an Anglo-Catholic parish that is exactly what I thought most Catholic churches would be like: incense, chant, great organ music, friendly welcoming atmosphere, etc.

I will admit that I haven’t been to every Catholic church in the area and that there is at least one I know of which regularly has sacred music as part of the liturgy. Oh, and I really like Mt. Angel Abbey. But the typical parish church and the one cathedral I visited are very different from my experience. I’ll just go grab my flame suit now…
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no, not all areas are like that.

come up to Vancouver for a visit. lol
 
Some people in my parish dress casually, some dress formally. Most seem very happy, though.

You shouldn’t choose a church based on how the people are dressed or if they seem happy or not. I am Catholic partly because that is the church that Christ himself founded and handed on to his apostles. Until Martin Luther began stirring things up, it was the only Christian church. I was to belong to Christ’s church.
 
I would recommend reading a good book which explains the Mass.
It’s not really about our “feelings”. This is where the Catholic church differs from what you likely have experienced.
Scott Hahn’s “The Lamb’s Supper” comes to mind.
There’s a lot of beautiful and vibrant parishes in Oregon.
I hope you find one soon. But eh Mass is more than the music, the perceived friendliness of the people, the gregariousness of the Pastor, etc. There is indeed much joy there.
It’s where you encounter Christ at His table.
God bless you on the journey!
 
Tweedle_Dee said:
I grew up in a very different Christian religion which vilified Catholics to some degree. I have since left that group and have been church shopping for quite some time. Without exception, every time I’ve attended a Catholic church the congregants and clergy appear to be the least happy, least friendly of all the churches I’ve been in contact with. For a “high” church, the congregants are the worst dressed and the music is the most praise-band type.

I’m not trying to just criticize, but I’m genuinely interested if that is just my area (Oregon) or everywhere. I grew up having this picture of what a Catholic church would be like having watched all the Hollywood portrayals and listening to chant, etc. I really wanted to love it. I was so shocked at how different it was at the places I’ve attended. It was a real turn-off. I have since found an Anglo-Catholic parish that is exactly what I thought most Catholic churches would be like: incense, chant, great organ music, friendly welcoming atmosphere, etc.

I will admit that I haven’t been to every Catholic church in the area and that there is at least one I know of which regularly has sacred music as part of the liturgy. Oh, and I really like Mt. Angel Abbey. But the typical parish church and the one cathedral I visited are very different from my experience. I’ll just go grab my flame suit now…
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In my admittedly limited experience as a recent convert, parishes are quite different one to another. My parish is vibrant with many different activities, charities, devotions. We have a choir and either have an organist or a pianist- definitely not “praise band”- the selected music is what I would consider typical hymns. One of the parishes in town has a lot of hispanic members and their music has a lot of guitar. It’s still reverent, just different music. Our parishioners can be somewhat relaxed in their dress code- jeans and shorts are common- but I do get an impression of genuine reverence. I think the dress is more representative of where I live, which is Alaska, and Alaskans are well known for being very casual about how they dress for any occasion.

I don’t know that I would classify Catholics as not having joy, but perhaps more of being rather serious and reverent in their faith. We don’t throw our hands up in the air and holler out “Amen!” but please don’t see that as a lack of joy. I am ever so thankful at each and every Mass for the opportunity to be truly before God (as He is truly and physically present in the Eucharist) and to have an opportunity for unity with Him when I partake of the Eucharist.
 
Many people dress more casually these days for Mass unless you go to the few places that offer the Latin Tridentine Mass. As for music, again, there are only a few places that use the kind of music you see in old movies and the cathedral is not one of them. Friendliness varies by parish, but don’t expect it inside the church during Mass. Not many places focus on welcoming newcomers, even for a coffee hour after Mass - at least that has been my experience so you have to introduce yourself and get involved in things if you want to meet people.
 
Honestly, I don’t go to church to be with happy people. I don’t go to see or be seen, so I really won’t notice what people are wearing for the most part.

I do go to be with people that share the same faith beliefs, have the same problems I do, or maybe different ones, but are there because they wish to worship God in the same way as I do, and receive the gift of Our Lord in Holy Communion.

I have no idea what an Anglo-Catholic church is…😊
 
An acquaintance asked me what is it
about the Catholic Church that makes
it different from other churches? I ans-
wered: “They have the Real Presence
of Jesus in the Eucharist” THAT is what
distinguishes the True Church from all
the others!!!
 
Irishmom2 said:
I have no idea what an Anglo-Catholic church is…😊
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An Anglo-Catholic church is basically a church that follows the same (or a very similar) liturgy to the RC and has similar traditions, but is not in communion with Rome. I’ve been to a Church of England Anglo-Catholic church before. Probably the only difference in the Mass is the mention of the Archbishop of Canterbury (alongside the Pope!) in Eucharistic Prayer III.
 
peter26 said:
An Anglo-Catholic church is basically a church that follows the same (or a very similar) liturgy to the RC and has similar traditions, but is not in communion with Rome. I’ve been to a Church of England Anglo-Catholic church before. Probably the only difference in the Mass is the mention of the Archbishop of Canterbury (alongside the Pope!) in Eucharistic Prayer III.
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Interesting. Thanks for the explanation, Peter!
 
The local people and priest make all the difference.

Our parish is happy. The parishioners are engaged with what’s going on and act like they want to be there.

My in-laws’ parish is glum. The parishioners act like they’re only there because they have to be there.
 
on_the_hill said:
The local people and priest make all the difference.

Our parish is happy. The parishioners are engaged with what’s going on and act like they want to be there.

My in-laws’ parish is glum. The parishioners act like they’re only there because they have to be there.
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Maybe it’s an age thing?
 
I have heard and read similar comments before, and to some degree, I have noticed it myself. I think part of the answer is that Catholics have an absolute requirement to attend Mass every Sunday, whereas other denominations do not. So I wonder if you have a larger percentage of practicing Catholics (vs practicing Lutherans, etc) there every week, week in week out. Maybe in a typical Protestant church you see people who are feeling functional enough to show up, and the ones who can’t be bothered, just don’t show up? Whereas the Catholics who don’t really want to be there, feel they have to show up, or risk a mortal sin. Might be part of the answer? Or maybe the 1970s music and architecture are depressing everyone? : )
 
The Catholic church that I attend has people who dress formally and also has people who dress casually. I have been to Catholic churches in other states and they have dressed more formally.

As for being happy, I have always gotten the feeling that people of my own faith were much happier to be a church than the church that I attend.

As for the music, the music in the Catholic church is rather bland, IMO. In my church (Episcopal) the music is much better, IMO.
 
27lw said:
I have heard and read similar comments before, and to some degree, I have noticed it myself. I think part of the answer is that Catholics have an absolute requirement to attend Mass every Sunday, whereas other denominations do not. So I wonder if you have a larger percentage of practicing Catholics (vs practicing Lutherans, etc) there every week, week in week out. Maybe in a typical Protestant church you see people who are feeling functional enough to show up, and the ones who can’t be bothered, just don’t show up? Whereas the Catholics who don’t really want to be there, feel they have to show up, or risk a mortal sin. Might be part of the answer? Or maybe the 1970s music and architecture are depressing everyone? : )
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Yup, that seems to be it, but I don’t know if making Mass optional is the solution.
 
Tweedle_Dee said:
I grew up in a very different Christian religion which vilified Catholics to some degree. I have since left that group and have been church shopping for quite some time. Without exception, every time I’ve attended a Catholic church the congregants and clergy appear to be the least happy, least friendly of all the churches I’ve been in contact with. For a “high” church, the congregants are the worst dressed and the music is the most praise-band type.

I’m not trying to just criticize, but I’m genuinely interested if that is just my area (Oregon) or everywhere. I grew up having this picture of what a Catholic church would be like having watched all the Hollywood portrayals and listening to chant, etc. I really wanted to love it. I was so shocked at how different it was at the places I’ve attended. It was a real turn-off. I have since found an Anglo-Catholic parish that is exactly what I thought most Catholic churches would be like: incense, chant, great organ music, friendly welcoming atmosphere, etc.

I will admit that I haven’t been to every Catholic church in the area and that there is at least one I know of which regularly has sacred music as part of the liturgy. Oh, and I really like Mt. Angel Abbey. But the typical parish church and the one cathedral I visited are very different from my experience. I’ll just go grab my flame suit now…
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Mind if I ask what part of Oregon you live in?🙂 I might be able to help.
 
Mind if I ask what part of Oregon you live in? I might be able to help.
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I live about an hour SW of Portland. Salem is a bit closer. I went to St. Joseph’s in Salem on Easter thinking that would definitely have a more traditional service. Nope. Guitars and folk music. I think they have a Latin mass once a month which I have not attended.

I recently went to St. Mary’s in Mt. Angel. Still praise band. I was obviously a noob who didn’t know what to do and not a single person greeted me at either place.

I get that what people wear and the music played doesn’t determine truth and the real presence within a church. If I was convinced of the truth of the Catholic church, I’d go regardless and be ecstatic that I had found the truth. But I’m not there yet.

Just so you don’t think I’m only critical, one thing I really love about the Catholic churches I’ve been to is the reverence shown within the sanctuary. I also love the statues and artwork. It is a powerful reminder of the purpose for worshiping in church even if I don’t fully accept everything (yet?)
I have no idea what an Anglo-Catholic church is…
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This particular church broke off from the Episcopal church when they started ordaining women and joined the Continuing Anglican tradition. It is uber traditional and celebrates the old style mass. They meet in an old brick church modeled after an 11th century Italian church. It is seriously like walking into the middle ages. They don’t even have microphones. I love it. 🙂 Sadly, it’s too far to go very often.
 
Tweedle_Dee said:
I live about an hour SW of Portland. Salem is a bit closer. I went to St. Joseph’s in Salem on Easter thinking that would definitely have a more traditional service. Nope. Guitars and folk music. I think they have a Latin mass once a month which I have not attended.

I recently went to St. Mary’s in Mt. Angel. Still praise band. I was obviously a noob who didn’t know what to do and not a single person greeted me at either place.

I get that what people wear and the music played doesn’t determine truth and the real presence within a church. If I was convinced of the truth of the Catholic church, I’d go regardless and be ecstatic that I had found the truth. But I’m not there yet.

Just so you don’t think I’m only critical, one thing I really love about the Catholic churches I’ve been to is the reverence shown within the sanctuary. I also love the statues and artwork. It is a powerful reminder of the purpose for worshiping in church even if I don’t fully accept everything (yet?)

This particular church broke off from the Episcopal church when they started ordaining women and joined the Continuing Anglican tradition. It is uber traditional and celebrates the old style mass. They meet in an old brick church modeled after an 11th century Italian church. It is seriously like walking into the middle ages. They don’t even have microphones. I love it. 🙂 Sadly, it’s too far to go very often.
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Hey Tweedle_Dee,

I’m totally sorry, but I’m pretty unfamiliar with the Salem area. I know of one good used bookstore, and that’s it.

Maybe if you started another thread, and this time asked in the thread title whether anyone lives in that area, someone would be able to help.
 
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