Is it licit for me to receive Communion? (Cohabitation)

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I am a humble, wretched sinner and I’m seeking Christ to reform my life. Satan has his snares in me, as he tries to have his snares in all of us, and I do not want to receive Communion in a state of “…unworthiness.”

My fiancee and I are engaged to be Married; I am Catholic and she is Lutheran. We just enrolled in the Marriage Preparation Course and are going to schedule a wedding in the Church as soon as we can.

She is pregnant. We are living together, because not to get into a long story, I absolutely have to and I have no other choice. We are refraining from sex and all other forms of fornication like behaviour until we are formally married. Both our will is strong and we have been, and can, absolutely refrain.

I plan on confessing my sins, including this one, to a Priest and receiving Communion soon. Are my decisions licit, or illicit?
 
You would have to seek the guidance of a good, holy probably traditional priest for your situation.
 
JD143785 said:
I plan on confessing my sins, including this one, to a Priest and receiving Communion soon. Are my decisions licit, or illicit?
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The short answer is: talk to your parish priest; he’s the one with the authority to make the decision in this case.

The longer answer goes something like this:

What you’re talking about is commonly known as the pastoral solution approach of ‘living as brother and sister.’ Many folks think that a person, on his own behalf, may make this decision unilaterally and be perfectly free from sin. Many folks are wrong. 😉

You see, there’s more than one potential sin here. Yes, there’s the sin of fornication, which this provision – if lived out according to the promise – will not occur. However, there’s also the potential for the sin of scandal. (Yes, that’s a real thing. Take a look at paragraph 2284 and 2285 of the Catechism.)

The sin of scandal, in this case, would be the possibility that your fellow parishioners would look at you and your fiancee, knowing you’re unmarried, seeing her baby bump, and thinking “if it’s OK for them to have sex outside of marriage and still receive the Eucharist, then it must be OK for me to do so, too.” In this situation, it’s not a matter of whether their conclusion is valid, or whether they should be minding their own business – rather, it’s simply a matter of whether your actions are tempting others into sin. (That’s what the sin of scandal is. And, it’s a grave sin, which means that it can be a mortal sin.)

So, your pastor might decide that the risk of scandal isn’t present in your case, and thus, give you permission to receive the Eucharist. Or, he might decide that, while he’ll give you permission to approach the sacraments by way of the pastoral solution, he’ll tell you to receive not in your own parish, but only when attending a Mass somewhere else (where they don’t know you, and where, therefore, there is no chance of scandal). Or, your pastor might conclude that the pastoral solution isn’t appropriate in your case.

So, in the end, it all comes down to what your pastor’s decision will be. Go see him. 👍
 
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JD143785 said:
OK, we have been refraining from sex, in totality. So I plan on doing this. Thank you.
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So, here’s the thing: if she weren’t pregnant, would you be willing and able to make this promise and live up to it? (Once she gives birth, will you be able to live up to it?) It’s one thing to give up meat during Lent… but a whole 'nother thing for a vegan to say “I’m giving up meat for Lent”. 😉

And, like I mentioned in my previous post, @rcwitness seems not to be taking into account the entirety of the situation, and is giving advice that doesn’t fit Church teaching. 🤷‍♂️
 
That’s a great reply; thank you. My fiancee doesn’t attend services with me; the other people at the parish don’t really know she exists except in the abstract.
 
After confessing your sins, living together as brother and sister is not a sin.

It is not a great idea to do it. It creates a great temptation to sin, and it gives the appearance to the outside world that you are still sinning despite not having intimate relations. It doesn’t set a great example. It also is creating a temptation to your fiance to sin.

At the end of the day, your sin is really between God and you. It is not for others to judge. We are all sinners.

Discuss this matter with a Priest. He can give you better guidance than we can.
 
We aren’t very sexual people in general. Just our nature, probably why we get along so well.
 
JD143785 said:
We just enrolled in the Marriage Preparation Course and are going to schedule a wedding in the Church as soon as we can.
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Contact whoever’s in charge of this course. They’ll refer you to a Priest.
 
I would have sympathy with your situation, and I think you are doing the right thing. There are definitely priests, at least that I know of, would absolve you of your sins. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a grace of the forgiveness of sin, and it is where you turn to, and rightly so.

God bless.
 
semper_catholicus said:
probably traditional priest
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Why, exactly, would this be vital to the state of his soul? What makes your designation of a “traditional” priest any better or worse than a priest?
HolySpirit said:
and it gives the appearance to the outside world that you are still sinning despite not having intimate relations
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What others think isn’t exactly pertinent. I never understand why so much is said about “appearance”. It’s none of anyone else’s business - folks need to mind their own sins first and dodge their own stones.
 
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semper_catholicus said:
Because trad priests are generally better equipped to deal with these sorts of things. Of course, there are some N/O priests who are equipped to deal with these things.

I never said it would be vital.
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ANY priest is equipped to deal with this. That’s their job.

Your specifying “traditional” makes it pretty clear that to you it would be. He needs a priest, and it doesn’t matter what one.
 
Therefore you do think it’s vital, and it’s purely your opinion.

I’m not derailing this thread any further.
 
You are right. These are quite common occurrences and any priest should be able to deal with it. It is a matter of making a decision.

The so - called traditional priests who don’t absolve penitent in this situation may not do it right, who limit the Sacrament and the forgiveness of God.

It is this type of decision by certain priests that drive people away from the Church. Young people will get married anyhow, with or without priests. Not forgiving their sins, when God is love and who forgives those who comes to him in repentance, does not reflect the face of the loving God.
 
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Gorgias said:
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JD143785:
OK, we have been refraining from sex, in totality. So I plan on doing this. Thank you.
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So, here’s the thing: if she weren’t pregnant, would you be willing and able to make this promise and live up to it? (Once she gives birth, will you be able to live up to it?) It’s one thing to give up meat during Lent… but a whole 'nother thing for a vegan to say “I’m giving up meat for Lent”. 😉

And, like I mentioned in my previous post, @rcwitness seems not to be taking into account the entirety of the situation, and is giving advice that doesn’t fit Church teaching. 🤷‍♂️
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While I fully agree that I dont know the entire situation, how does my advice NOT fit Church Teaching?
 
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