Is it licit for me to receive Communion? (Cohabitation)

[Gorgias]

What others think isn’t exactly pertinent. I never understand why so much is said about “appearance”. It’s none of anyone else’s business - folks need to mind their own sins first and dodge their own stones.

Kimberly,

Actually, there is a pertinent question here (and I addressed it in my first post in this thread). And no, it doesn’t have to do with ‘appearance’, per se, so much as it has to do with the temptation to sin that might result. As Christians, we have the duty to act in ways that help people move in the direction of virtue and away from the direction of vice.

Even St Paul mentions it, in chapter eight of 1st Corinthians. He admitted that “idols” weren’t real (and weren’t ‘gods’), and he acknowledged that people who knew this weren’t really committing a sin themselves by eating the meat sacrificed to idols. However, he pointed out that not everyone had that knowledge. And, not everyone would understand what was going on, if a Christian were to appear to be participating in an idolatrous ritual. Therefore, he told the Christians of Corinth that, by eating meat sacrificed to idols, “the weak person is brought to destruction.” In other words, the Christians who knew better, although they weren’t committing sins of idolatry, nevertheless “sin in this way against your brothers and wound their consciences.” Worse yet, such a sin was really an instance of “sinning against Christ”!!!

So, Paul concludes, “if food causes my brother to sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I may not cause my brother to sin.” (You can find all this in 1 Cor 8.)

When it comes right down to it, ‘scandal’ is a real sin – and a serious one! So, it’s important to avoid any behavior that might lead another to commit a sin (that you, yourself, aren’t committing!) by their misinterpretation of your behavior. Better to avoid the behavior altogether than to allow that behavior to lead another into serious sin.

 

[thistle]

I would beg to differ.

You are wrong. A priest is a priest.

 

[TheLittleLady]

But only your Pastor is your Pastor.

 

[Pup7]

I didn’t say a thing about temptation, did I? So why bring it up?

I said appearance - and that is truly none of anyone’s business.

Didn’t know we were on a first name basis, either.

 

[Gorgias]

While I fully agree that I dont know the entire situation, how does my advice NOT fit Church Teaching?

Because you’re advising the OP to act unilaterally, without getting permission from his pastor:

Confess your sins, and refrain from sex until Marriage!

Then receive!

See what I mean? The correct advice is “go talk to your pastor, and ask if you can adopt the pastoral solution of ‘living as brother and sister’ in order that you might return to reception of the Eucharist.”

This is what the Church teaches about the pastoral solution. Not that people may presume to adopt it themselves, but that their pastor may encourage or forbid it, according to his prudential judgment.

 

[semper_catholicus]

Did I say a priest wasn’t a priest?

 

[Augustinian]

You would have to seek the guidance of a good, holy probably traditional priest for your situation.

Ordinary people really have no way to judge how holy, good and/or traditional a priest might be. If someone asked me to rate the priests I am familiar with on these basis, I would even know what to say.

 

[Gorgias]

I didn’t say a thing about temptation, did I? So why bring it up?

Because it’s an important part of the understanding of the sin of scandal, which is ‘pertinent’ in this situation.

I said appearance - and that is truly none of anyone’s business.

St Paul disagrees with you.

Didn’t know we were on a first name basis, either.

It’s in your profile. That kinda makes it public, no? (But if you prefer to be called ‘Pup’, that’s cool. )

 

[Pup7]

Appearance is none of anyone’s business. Not one bit. Judging people because of what an individual human thinks - I thought that was 100% wrong. It is completely impossible to control the thoughts of others. What the OP is doing is between him, God, his fiancee, and his priest. If you’re sitting in Mass wondering what someone else is up to, I think there’s a problem, and it has nothing to do with the person being speculated upon.

You pulled my profile to get my name before you responded, which is a bit odd in my opinion. Almost creepy. Why do it? I think I’ll speculate since judgment of others is okay. In my weeks on this board no one else has done that.

Too much side convo in this thread. I’m out.

 

[rcwitness]

Im not disagreeing with you.

Dont you think that Confessing would involve this discussion? If it doesnt, then examination of conscience isnt very accute.

 

[Gorgias]

Dont you think that Confessing would involve this discussion?

Not necessarily. The sin to be confessed is fornication. “Father, I had sex with my girlfriend ten times over the past five months” is sufficient for absolution.

The time and place for this discussion is at a meeting with one’s pastor, and not in the confessional (even if the pastor is hearing the confession). It’s a discussion that needs to take place, and not a simple matter of “Father, I committed a sin and want to return to Communion.”

 

[HolySpirit]

Appearance is none of anyone’s business. Not one bit. Judging people because of what an individual human thinks - I thought that was 100% wrong. It is completely impossible to control the thoughts of others. What the OP is doing is between him, God, his fiancee, and his priest. If you’re sitting in Mass wondering what someone else is up to, I think there’s a problem, and it has nothing to do with the person being speculated upon.

.

Too much side convo in this thread. I’m out.

The appearance of living in sin and having children out of wedlock sets a great example for young Catholics.

It is none of my business, but if I am asked about it, I will point it out.

Society is going to hell in a handbasket. If you think it has nothing to do with the breakdown of the family, you are in denial. If asked, I will say, that unmarried Catholic men and women should not be cohabiting because it sets a terrible example for children. This is especially true if the woman is pregnant.

Normalizing bad behavior doesn’t suddenly make it right.

 

[Pup7]

The appearance of living in sin and having children out of wedlock sets a great example for young Catholics.

Yep - a great opportunity to teach them about casting stones and offering prayer for one’s fellow man.

 

[rcwitness]

The Holy Spirit will guide the situation through the grace of Reconciliation. The confession will reveal the situation. The Confessor will act accordingly.

 

[Pup7]

The Holy Spirit will guide the situation through the grace of Reconciliation. The confession will reveal the situation. The Confessor will act accordingly.

This. All of this.

 

[Pup7]

Your CCC references talk about people in a position of power who can “establish laws or social structures leading to the decline of morals and the corruption of religious practice, or to ‘social conditions that, intentionally or not, make Christian conduct and obedience to the Commandments difficult and practically impossible’” (CCC, paragraph 2286, which you didn’t reference and which elaborates on the context and construct of 2284 and 2285).

In fact, the first sentence of 2285 states “Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized”.

2284 says “The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter”. No, not here. See my quote from 2285.

So in my view what you’re saying is the OP’s fellow parishioners are so weak in their conviction and their faith that they can’t possibly adhere to their own catechesis and their own concept of what’s right and wrong simply because the OP and his fiancee are trying to regularize their situation and choose to follow the instruction of a priest.

Somehow I don’t think so.

 

[HolySpirit]

HolySpirit:

The appearance of living in sin and having children out of wedlock sets a great example for young Catholics.

Yep - a great opportunity to teach them about casting stones and offering prayer for one’s fellow man.

Do you think that it is healthy for Catholic children to be taught it is normal and healthy for couples to be living in sin and for mothers to be pregnant out of wedlock?

I guess there really isn’t any point in getting married. That is a great message for children.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Speak to your Priest about it. He will give better and more reliable advice than you will get from anybody on this forum.
God bless and Congratulations on your decision to be married in the Church. I’m very glad you decided to take that step.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Do you think that it is healthy for Catholic children to be taught it is normal and healthy for couples to be living in sin and for mothers to be pregnant out of wedlock?

I guess there really isn’t any point in getting married. That is a great message for children.

The OP stated that he is planning to get married in the Church, and also that he and his fiancee are not having sex and he is planning to go to Confession and get right with the Lord.

This is a completely moot point, and not helpful to bring up on a thread where a person is genuinely repenting and getting his life in order.

 

[HolySpirit]

HolySpirit:

Do you think that it is healthy for Catholic children to be taught it is normal and healthy for couples to be living in sin and for mothers to be pregnant out of wedlock?

I guess there really isn’t any point in getting married. That is a great message for children.

The OP stated that he is planning to get married in the Church, and also that he and his fiancee are not having sex and he is planning to go to Confession and get right with the Lord.

This is a completely moot point, and not helpful to bring up on a thread where a person is genuinely repenting and getting his life in order.

You are commenting on a ongoing discussion that has long since progressed off of my original comment which was comment 8, which the OP favorited.

HolySpirit
5h
After confessing your sins, living together as brother and sister is not a sin.

It is not a great idea to do it. It creates a great temptation to sin, and it gives the appearance to the outside world that you are still sinning despite not having intimate relations. It doesn’t set a great example. It also is creating a temptation to your fiance to sin.

At the end of the day, your sin is really between God and you. It is not for others to judge. We are all sinners.

Discuss this matter with a Priest. He can give you better guidance than we can.

Personally, I couldn’t care less if two people shack up. It isn’t any of my business. I have friends who do this and I do things with them socially. I don’t judge them.

If I am asked about the morality of such an arrangement, my answer remains that as long as a man and women are living together as brother and sister, it is not a sin. However, it is it not an optimal arrangement because gives the impression of sin, and it creates problems of temptation that really aren’t fair to your partner.

No Catholic should ever think that living in sin and conceiving a child out of wedlock doesn’t set an example that is destructive to children and is a problem that is ripping apart our society. It is not healthy for children to view this as normal behavior and told that there is nothing wrong with it. Children imitate what they see.

People’s individual living arrangements don’t bother me, but from a public policy standpoint, I will say that they tell Catholic children that immoral behavior is acceptable.