Hiya WorkNProgress,
Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums.
I am a very happy Catholic. For one thing, I am blessed to be able to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament every morning. It is kind of hard to be unhappy knowing that, and meditating on just how great God’s love and mercy is!
It is not a new thing you say, and certainly in the ways of the world Catholicism can look a little melancholy. I would recommend you read some of the words of the great Saint Pio.
padrepiodevotions.org/index.asp?pagename=wordsoffaith . St. Pio was a very happy soul who trusted completely in Divine Providence. But he also said things like “The Mother of Sorrows is my confidant and teacher”. The world really cannot understand how our joy could be made complete through the Cross. It seems everywhere I turn, there are Catholics leading lives that are difficult in the eyes of the world, but who have a lightheartedness that the world just cannot give. If you receive Our Lord frequently, experience His mercy in the Sacrament of Penance, and pray often then these things will become clearer.
Remember Our Lord said that “my yoke is sweet and my burden light”. This, too, can only be penetrated with the light of grace. Remember that the priest prays God to “protect us from all anxiety” during the Mass. Nothing is a burden if we let go and discipline our passions in order that we may be freed from anxiety. I love the Prayer of Abandonment by Charles de Foucauld:
"Father,
I abandon myself into Your hands;
do with me what You will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to You with all the love of my heart,
for I love You, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into Your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for You are my Father."
Another thing that St. Pio said was “If You are happy, then I am happy.” This is a great attitude! It has been my experience that unless we abandon ourselves to His will then we are beset by trials, and yes, then our Catholicism can seem a very heavy burden. Please persevere in the True Faith. I sensed that your desire to “go it alone with Jesus” might have alluded to a Protestant temptation. Don’t go there - that kind of “happiness” is false and full of presumption and error. Everything you need is here, in the Catholic Church, and the Church, in its catholicity, embraces all the faithful, including those who are happy!
God bless you,
Sian