Is it necessary to send students on retreats?

[TAS2000]

Ok, that is part of my point. I have never attended a church where we’d have 30 youth volunteers. I agree with the one who said it is tough to impossible to find enough volunteers. And IMHO, if the parents’ schedules are too much to volunteer for these events, and there aren’t enough volunteers, then WHY are we doing it? I have never been asked IF we should have one of these events. The schools/program directors feel it would be a good experience, and then we parents get told there WILL be a retreat. Shouldn’t the parents have some say? Especially when it is our lives these activities affect?

And someone else pointed out exactly the type of thing I mean. This past year our confirmation students went to do some manual labor in Chicago (helping out older people and run down homes, cleaning parks, etc.) Why did they have to go to Chicago to do this? Are there no needy older folks in our own community? Do these opportunities for helping our fellow man only exist in out of town areas where there are no parents? True, there may be a difference in scale-there are no “slums” that I know of in our small rural comunity, but I think there are plenty of opportunities closer to home that wouldn’t require us selling fifty cases of candy bars to send our kids there.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am sure that retreats CAN be a lovely and spiritiually uplifting experience. But too many times it is just an excuse to get away for the kids, and poorly supervised. I think the directors feel it is a way to make things “fun” under the guise of religion. If that is the case, call a spade a spade and just have fun student comunity building activities. It just seems that no matter how small the program, they simply MUST have a “retreat”, even if the kids, the parents, and no one else in the parish seems interested enough to make it worthwhile.

Side note-I agree that children need to learn to be independant, but what I was getting at is that children should be LEARNING it under parental guidance. If the kids can’t wait to escape from mom and dad, then they weren’t given enough chance to be themsleves and trouble is sure to follow. But if we as parents are paying attention to our children, then there are tons of opportunities to let them learn independence and learn to trust their own judgement - without throwing them to the sharks and saying “Go on, you have to be indpenedant sometime.” My point is that the parents, not the programs should decide when their kids are ready for these experiences. Just being in a certain grade doesn’t automatically qualify a kid to be mature enough to go on these trips.

 

[hearye]

I know what you mean about retreat-trips…traveling somewhere to help build, etc… I’ve wondered that myself…but then I myself live in Chicago, and have gone for a week to Kentucky to re-build…

I think it’s 2-fold, and having to do with human-nature. I ask myself–Which am I more likely to be attracted to doing? A trip + work, or working at a place I drive by each day? Now that I"m older, I could see myself doing both, but as a teen, I was much more likely to choose the ‘exotic’…so maybe it’s just a way to get more people more interested in it? Also, if I have to work hard to earn my way to go on the trip, it means even more to me.
And secondly, when I went to Kentucky, I was scheduled to do that, and when I was there all I did was work and pray. If I’d have gone into Chicago instead, it would have been for a few hours, then I would have gone back to life as usual-- I don’t think the impact for me would have been as great. Experiencing a different way of living (culture?) was very valuable and eye-opening too.

This is not to say that work closer to home is less valuable, just has different rewards, imo.

As for being too busy…there’s a lot of things we do that we’re too busy for…planning/attending holiday parties, sports, praying…but we do them becasue they are good for us/our community/our family. We MAKE time for these things. I think retreats are something that we should ALL make time for (myself included!)

I think you also commented about not seeing a lot of youth volunteering for things (ie: why then should I volunteer for them?)…maybe I over interpreted, but in case anyone was thinking that, my food for thought would be that parents and older community members are role models for teens maybe more than for anyone else…they are the most observant, and learn by example like little sponges. If you don’t make time, they won’t learn how to, and won’t feel they can, and just won’t.

 

[TAS2000]

Yes, I have the “if it’s important to you, you make time” argument with my husband all the time. I think there is a flaw in your argument about volunteering though. I haven’t figured out how to quote other poeple’s stuff yet, so I’ll paraphrase. You said “if the kids aren’t volunteering, why should I?” Well, the problem is if the kid’s are going on the retreats, how can they volunteer? Doesn’t add up.

Anyway, we’re back to the “want to go” issue. Yes, if you want to go on a trip, and work hard to get there, it will mean more. But that supposes that you wanted to go in the first place. Most of these trips are not billed as voluntary. They are either billed as just part of the course, or even billed as mandatory. So what we have is a bunch of kids who would never volunteer to do anything religous (their parents are making them attend classes) going through the motions. (Put that in the role model category- many of the parents never set foot in church.) So the directors try to make the trips sound fun and exotic to get the kids invloved. I think this is backwards. I think we need to get the kids involved first, then suggest trips and try to get approval/funding. If addequate chaperones and funding can’t be obtained, then there can’t be a trip. Yes, it would be lovely if every child could go on these “life and faith enriching” trips, but real life ain’t like that. Is it sad? Yes. But my original question wasn’t “wouldn’t it be nice” it was “is it necessary?” If it is necessary, then the directors need to get the parents involved in planning from the beginning, so they can set realistic limits for these trips (where, how long, how much it will cost) so that the practicalities of working parents who can’t take a week off to chaparone, or the kids who have afterschool jobs and won’t be able to fundraise can be taken into account. And so we can have some say in what the contents of the trip are. Heaven forbid I should try to suggest that the parish pay for these “required” trips. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with that flak!

 

[Stylteralmaldo]

Here’s my two cents. I’m in my 30’s…my father took me on a retreat once a year with him along with his men’s group. It was a silent retreat that we spent with God the entire week-end - not to my dad, not to others, just God and me. Often times I was the only person that wasn’t an adult (I started going on these retreats since I was eight). The retreat was sponsored by the Redemptorists - who care for the poor. I wouldn’t say we were poor, but I am one of seven children so we had limited means. We paid what we could - and that was acceptable.

On the other hand, I also attended a week-end retreat as a teen-ager. I also liked this retreat and it was more open and socially interactive.

Which one did I prefer? —> The solitude of being with God on the silent retreat. We did it every year and has had a profound spiritually uplifting impact in my life.

 

[hearye]

Here’s my view on why these retreats should be required (and I’m talking about weekend/overnight retreats for highschoolers, not the trips I took in college, etc.)…

I HATED going to church when I was younger. And I was really shy in youth group in highschool, and generally didn’t like that either. If the retreat had been optional, there is NO WAY I would have gone. And my parents would not have encouraged me to go, or anything either. But I did go, because I did have to…and I did feel God’s presence for real, for the first time. I did goof around a little, had a little fun, but learned some. Skipped church for a year when I went to college, but then really just felt God calling me back. Retreats stand out in my mind as a time that God really first “called to me”. The first time I had really devoted time to LISTENING! I always came back from the retreat glad that I had gone (though I doubt I would have admitted it at the time–I really dreaded them then!)

Will a retreat reach every retreatant? No. God calls us each at our appointed time…I suppose that could mean that retreats are totally optional becasue God will call us anyway, but we can certainly facilitate our hearing Him.

When two or more are gathered in His name…

Anyhoo, pray on it. (I guess we should really ask Him what He thinks afterall! ) I will too.