Is it normal to want multiples?

[Nicollle]

I’ve always wanted to have twins or triplets. It seems like a wonderful blessing to me. I don’t understand why all of these people are talking about the need to prevent low-order multiples. I don’t understand the downside to having twins. Am I the only one who desperately wants to have multiples?

 

[Convert_in_99]

I’ve always wanted to have twins or triplets. It seems like a wonderful blessing to me. I don’t understand why all of these people are talking about the need to prevent low-order multiples. I don’t understand the downside to having twins. Am I the only one who desperately wants to have multiples?

I’ll take any babies I can get and of course would LOVE if that included multiples. I also want multiples for a very special reason. No one has been able to successfully carry twins since my great-grandmother’s generation. Everyone has conceived twins, but has sadly miscarried one or both. I hope and pray one day that I can carry a set of twins to full term, just as great-grandma did.

 

[daeve]

I think having twins would be fun. Several of my friends have twins, and they cope just fine. A friend who is a twin has a sister who has 3 almost identical little girls.

Having more than one baby at a time can get complicated. My boys are 18 months apart, and that’s a lot of diapers and snotty noses all at once, and education costs would be all at once too. But other than those surmountable things, I can’t think of any reason that multiple births (I mean 2 or 3 at a time) would be anything to discourage.

I think it’s a pretty rare situation to have more than 3 on your own. It’s probably possibile, but people who have 4 and up generally would have to have some kind of medical assistance to do that. A human female’s body wasn’t built to have too many at one time. I was already exhausted when the second one was born (husband travelled on business, family 1000 miles away). I can’t imagine how you would be able to give a bunch of babies the attention they need and deserve. You’d have to have lots of help for a long time, and I wouldn’t want a team of other people hanging around my house 24/7 for very long.

 

[lizziebits]

I think there are many reasons not to want multiples.

First, after having one baby who didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hour stretches, I simply CAN NOT imagine having two of them up all.night.long.

Second, breastfeeding twins would be difficult. Certainly not impossible, but difficult.

Third, the human body is simply not designed to carry more than one child at a time. While often twin pregnancies go well, they carry with them serious risks – hemorrhage, IUGR, twin to twin transfusion syndrome, and the list goes on.

Fourth, most (though certainly not all) twin pregnancies end with a C-sec. That of course means all the risks of surgery, plus having to deal with the VBAC vs. Repeat Cesarean decision.

I have heard many parents of twins say that people have no idea what parenting twins is like; that it is harder than most people could even begin to imagine.

 

[Cajun_Girl]

Well, you can’t be too crazy. . .My sister wants to have a few more babies, and she’s always said that twins would be great because then she would only have to be pregnant one more time . She hates pregnancy that much! As for me, I’d prefer to have them one at a time, but I’d still be excited if I found out I was pregnant with multiples.

 

[OSUbride0708]

I’d be more worried about the pregnancy part than afterward. Twin pregnancies can be complicated and often don’t go full term.

 

[survive]

I have never heard of a need to prevent low-order multiples. I have no idea where it would come from. I miss my twins daily, and if you have triplets, power to you.

 

[srlucado]

I don’t understand the downside to having twins.

Speaking as a twin myself, I can think of several downsides right off the top of my head.

Nothing that I’ll post in public, but trust me, it ain’t all roses.

 

[LongingForLight]

It’s not normal, and there are many downsides. I am the only mother of twins I know who wants to have twins again someday

However, I had a very easy, fairly low-risk pregnancy and completely healthy twins who didn’t need even a little NICU time. Although I had a significant number of “annoying” health problems, nothing serious came up.

So, the main “downsides”: Twins are more likely than not to spend at least a little time in Intensive Care before going home, and I know many parents who had at least one baby spend a month or more in the NICU. About 50% of twins are pre-term, with all the risks of disability and even death that come along with pre-term birth. The mother is also at higher risk during the pregnancy for conditions like gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. The first year to year and a half of parenting is very difficult. Severe sleeplessness is common, and the rate of divorce for parents of multiples is significantly higher than for other parents - especially in the early years. So there are some very good reasons not to want multiples.

Having said that, I absolutely love being the mother of my twins. It is wonderful to watch two different personalities grow up side-by-side. My twins are amazing children who play well together and started showing their affection for each other at a very young age - yet they are still very independent and love to play with other children as well. After about 2 years of age, I think twins are easier than only children to care for. They entertain each other, and if one of them is being difficult in learning something (like potty-training), I can just teach her sister - and then the other twin will want to do what she sees her sister doing!

But I also want to have a singleton at some point, even if I wouldn’t mind having twins again. I did wish sometimes that I could just sleep with one baby next to me, or just change one child without the other crying her head off because I couldn’t care for her while I was changing her sister. I’d love the chance to just fall in love with one baby at a time someday, and be able to put her needs first without worrying about another little baby that needed me just as much.

 

[Catholic1954]

I’ve always wanted to have twins or triplets. It seems like a wonderful blessing to me. I don’t understand why all of these people are talking about the need to prevent low-order multiples. I don’t understand the downside to having twins. Am I the only one who desperately wants to have multiples?

You need to watch, “Jon and Kate plus 8” and “Table for 12”.

 

[Lerin]

I don’t know that it is normal OR abnormal to want multiples.

I guess it would depend on how you wanted to HAVE multiples… like whether you were willing to pursue unnatural, immoral, and/or dangerous methods (IVF, for one).

We let God be the decision-maker on our family size. I think if He decided we were to parent twins, we would be thrilled! Of course there are risks involved, but isn’t that true of everything in life?

Fraternal twins run in my mother’s family, and so I could possibly have a genetic predisposition for twins too. I would be really excited if an ultrasound revealed to us that we were expecting two instead of one.

 

[pamnbam]

I don’t think that it’s abnormal for someone to want twins. I always thought having twins myself would be a great blessing. That, like so many other things, is usually easier said than done. It’s likely not without its struggles, but I’m sure there are many rewards, as well.

 

[tapiocapudding]

I am a twin and my sister is my best friend in the whole world, we truly do have a special bond and grew up as best friends. We used to feel bad for singleton children because they must be so lonely
So, before I had a baby I really wanted twins. Now that I have a baby, one that sleeps in 2 or 3 hour stretches, still at 11 months old I’m not so sure I could deal with it! Plus it would cost a lot to need 2 of everything. Still, I would still feel incredibly blessed if the Lord decided to give me twins. I know we would get through those first tough years with the help of friends and family and then hopefully the twins would share a bond like my sister and I
I’ve heard of people conceiving twins or triplets and then ‘selectively reducing’ ‘for the better of the other baby’ and it makes me sick to my stomach I can’t imagine if someone had ‘reduced’ my wonderful sister.

 

[daeve]

I’ve heard of people conceiving twins or triplets and then ‘selectively reducing’ ‘for the better of the other baby’ and it makes me sick to my stomach I can’t imagine if someone had ‘reduced’ my wonderful sister.

Or YOU!

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I am a twin and my sister is my best friend in the whole world, we truly do have a special bond and grew up as best friends. We used to feel bad for singleton children because they must be so lonely
So, before I had a baby I really wanted twins. Now that I have a baby, one that sleeps in 2 or 3 hour stretches, still at 11 months old I’m not so sure I could deal with it! Plus it would cost a lot to need 2 of everything. Still, I would still feel incredibly blessed if the Lord decided to give me twins. I know we would get through those first tough years with the help of friends and family and then hopefully the twins would share a bond like my sister and I

I always thought twins were cool, but after becoming a mother I see how difficult it must be, so although I still think its neat, I have no idea how people do it, but then again when I had my first I had no idea how people have more than one, and we did just fine when baby #2 arrived 15 months later, so if God sends twins without me doing anything to try to have twins (which I don’t plan to do), I will know it was His plans and we will be just fine. We have a friend of the family who had a daughter, and 11 months later had twin girls. They are all grown up and married now.

I’ve heard of people conceiving twins or triplets and then ‘selectively reducing’ ‘for the better of the other baby’ and it makes me sick to my stomach I can’t imagine if someone had ‘reduced’ my wonderful sister.

That is so horribly sad. Its like the practice in ivf of picking out the best embryo after implanting several.

 

[DiannaK]

I don’t know that it is normal OR abnormal to want multiples.

I guess it would depend on how you wanted to HAVE multiples… like whether you were willing to pursue unnatural, immoral, and/or dangerous methods (IVF, for one).

We let God be the decision-maker on our family size. I think if He decided we were to parent twins, we would be thrilled! Of course there are risks involved, but isn’t that true of everything in life?

Fraternal twins run in my mother’s family, and so I could possibly have a genetic predisposition for twins too. I would be really excited if an ultrasound revealed to us that we were expecting two instead of one.

waving … HI Lerin!!

 

[DiannaK]

As the mother of twins, I feel the need to jump in here. If you want to read about our lives with twins, you can check out our blog. The Kennedy Adventures

We found out we were having twins when I was 14 weeks along. I was completely, totally, and utterly shocked.

I had a very healthy twin pregnancy, just a few minor snags along the way … went to L/D at about 24 week for cramping (just dehydrated), and again at 37w with an episode of stalled labor. My boys are ID, so we were at risk for TTTS, and that meant a little extra monitoring. My boys were born at 37w, 5 days, a natural vaginal delivery, both weighing over 6 lbs. No NICU, and both went home with me after delivery.

Physically, a twin pregnancy was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m a pretty healthy girl, but carrying 12+ lbs of baby, plus everything else was rough. Most of my pregnancy symptoms (backache, pelvic pain, heartburn, fatigue, insomnia, anemia) were magnified.
Psychologically, it was much more difficult as well … health care providers treated me with kid gloves, and I lost a lot of trust in my own body. I worried twice as much … was scared to death of losing one of the babies all the time. I had to fight tooth and nail to have a natural delivery, but I got my way.

The change in my family dynamics was difficult as well … imagine planning life for one baby, then finding out you have two coming. Like my husband said, we went from thinking we just needed an extra car seat, to finding out we needed a bigger vehicle, a bigger house, etc.

Having twins is difficult, and I don’t ever gloss over the rough parts. I am without a doubt, blessed beyond my wildest imagination, but my house is total and complete CHAOS. We’ve just now started getting close to being able to start to manage things better around here. (does that make sense??) A lot of days, it’s just keeping my head above water. Maybe God gave me twins to encourage me to loosen up a bit!

My boys are the sweetest babies, and I love seeing them interact with each other, and their sisters, but I don’t feel like I know them as well as I knew my other children at this age. This past year has been a blur. There may be other moms of multiples that find it easier to manage than I do … hopefully, I’ll hit my stride soon.

 

[LongingForLight]

My boys are the sweetest babies, and I love seeing them interact with each other, and their sisters, but I don’t feel like I know them as well as I knew my other children at this age. This past year has been a blur. There may be other moms of multiples that find it easier to manage than I do … hopefully, I’ll hit my stride soon.

Having only two made it a lot easier for us, but I’ve heard many mothers of multiples saying that the enitre first three years was a blur. For us, it was just the first 18 months or so. Our twins are 3 years old now, and I found that every milestone made life a little easier - rolling over, sitting up, crawling, and walking all gave our children a bit more independence, which meant I could exchange never having an arm free for being able to do more, but needing to practice vigilence. 13 to 18 months (the closest we’ve gotten to “terrible twos”) was very challenging, but not as hard as the baby stage - more willpower, less “no arms free, no sleep”. However, I’d say that from about 24 months on, it’s been pretty easy and just gets easier.

You probably already have your older kids playing together so maybe won’t feel this benefit as much, but for us we’ve found that having twins really lightens our load just because our oldest children have playmates - while many parents are still having to entertain their oldest at 3, because the youngest isn’t old enough to be a real playmate yet. This will probably be a big help when #3 comes.

 

[leonie]

Twins? Triplets?

crazy talk!! I think it would kill me.

 

[apromisemade]

Well, my dad and his wife had twins a couple years back and I don’t think there’s any denying it’s a lot more work than just one at a time . My dad even has a bumper sticker that reads “Know Fear, Have Twins,” though I’m sure it’s all in good fun.

I certainly wouldn’t think your the only one who wants multiples. All the talk about finding ways to decrease the likelyhood of having them is probably because the risk of complications is greater, especiaally with the increasingly older mothers these days who, for some reason, are more likely to have multiples because of their age.

I don’t see anything wrong with wanting multiples, just be prepared for a lot of running around and having eyes in the back of your head .