Is it ok to approach a girl after mass and how to do?

[GraceUnderFire]

Is there a way how I could make it easier for a women, that I approach her? Like being right in front of her while mass and giving the sign of peace?

Personally, if a guy just caught my eye, smiled then walked over, that would be enough. I know that probably sounds like the hardest thing in the world to do but it really is that simple.

Yes, strategically sitting in front of her or even behind her so you can shake her hand during the sign of peace and then talk to her immediately after mass would be great!

 

[Jake_Hansen]

It’s so funny in this thread how all the guys are like making it sound like a very intense strategic battle plan, and all the girls are like hey just walk up and start talking.

 

[hwriggles4]

Andre:

Some of the ladies here (like GraceUnderFire and Wheelie) have some really good points here. I would take the hint and listen. I especially liked how just a smile and taking the courage to walk over does work.

As a guy, one thing that has worked for me is just opening doors. A woman will often say “thank you” and give you a nice smile - it’s a way to show some familiarity and gentlemanly conduct.

Andre, if you want to approach someone after Mass, I would wait until I got out of the sanctuary (either in the narthex, the parish hall, the cafeteria, or outside). You can say something about the Mass, or you can say something about the parish. Try making some small talk. I have done this, and believe me, it is a good starting point for a conversation (it’s not a “pick up line”). I remember just meeting a nice lady after Mass by saying something about a homily that was given on the day JPII was canonized. I also met a nice lady one day who until recently I didn’t realize sang in the choir - I usually don’t attend the Mass where the contemporary choir sings.

I’ve also been able to meet some people after Mass that were sitting closer to me, where you can say “the priest did a good job. I liked how…” I also like the fellowship of coffee and doughnuts, and my Knights of Columbus council does a pancake breakfast about once a month. Coffee and doughnuts is a good, low key way to say hello to someone, have a little conversation, not spend much money, and there are others around.

Actually, I do advise more single men to take this initiative. Oftentimes, I hear women complain that not enough men attend church.

Hope this helps.

 

[GraceUnderFire]

It’s so funny in this thread how all the guys are like making it sound like a very intense strategic battle plan, and all the girls are like hey just walk up and start talking.

Andre:

Some of the ladies here (like GraceUnderFire and Wheelie) have some really good points here. I would take the hint and listen. I especially liked how just a smile and taking the courage to walk over does work.

As a guy, one thing that has worked for me is just opening doors. A woman will often say “thank you” and give you a nice smile - it’s a way to show some familiarity and gentlemanly conduct.

Andre, if you want to approach someone after Mass, I would wait until I got out of the sanctuary (either in the narthex, the parish hall, the cafeteria, or outside). You can say something about the Mass, or you can say something about the parish. Try making some small talk. I have done this, and believe me, it is a good starting point for a conversation (it’s not a “pick up line”). I remember just meeting a nice lady after Mass by saying something about a homily that was given on the day JPII was canonized. I also met a nice lady one day who until recently I didn’t realize sang in the choir - I usually don’t attend the Mass where the contemporary choir sings.

I’ve also been able to meet some people after Mass that were sitting closer to me, where you can say “the priest did a good job. I liked how…” I also like the fellowship of coffee and doughnuts, and my Knights of Columbus council does a pancake breakfast about once a month. Coffee and doughnuts is a good, low key way to say hello to someone, have a little conversation, not spend much money, and there are others around.

Actually, I do advise more single men to take this initiative. Oftentimes, I hear women complain that not enough men attend church.

Hope this helps.

Yes, just to reiterate one more time, if a guy just came up to me and started talking to me after Mass out of the blue, my mind would immediately start to wonder if he was interested in getting to know me. JUST the act of him doing that would be enough since it doesn’t happen usually.

Andre, you don’t need a “plan.” Just walk up to her, be friendly and start talking. Watch for her cues (how comfortable she feels talking to you) because if she is shy and/or isn’t used to men walking up to her, she might be a little nervous (which is why I said I wouldn’t go as far as asking her out the first time). Part of being chivalrous is delaying your gratification for the comfort of the lady. You might really want to just ask her out if the conversation is going well but it might not be best for the lady at that time. However, she will be thinking about you because you approached her. You can’t be wishy washy though–the next time, you have to talk to her again or you will confuse her!

I REALLY hope you’ll try this the next time you go to mass!!! It really is this simple. God bless you!

 

[Listener]

Do you have any Catholic friends who could help you with this? You say there is no coffee and donuts after Mass. Is there a coffee house near the church - the kind where you buy your coffee and sit at a table afterwards? You could put an ad in the church bulletin for young single people to meet at this coffee shop after a certain Mass. Then, after Mass, go there and buy yourself a cup of coffee. If no one shows up, at least you tried. This would be much less scary if you had a friend who would agree to do it with you.

Your subject of conversation could be how to be happy at church when all of the people are so much older.