Is it ok to choose NOT to have children?

[Rau]

Infertile “old folks” who go into marriage open to life are only open to it because they know its not going to happen. Strikes me as very insincere. Much like how I promised to give everyone I know 1 million dollars if I ever became a millionaire - its easy to promise that when I know I’ll never be a millionaire.

You know the mind of old folks? You know their attitude to children throughout their lives? Extraordinary!

 

[SonOfMan]

You know the mind of old folks? You know their attitude to children throughout their lives? Extraordinary!

I know my own mind when I promise something that isnt going to happen. Its an empty promise.

 

[Rau]

I know my own mind when I promise something that isnt going to happen. Its an empty promise.

It is not even promised! The vow regarding children is typically omitted when elderly people marry!

The vow is not seeking persons to promise to be ok with the impossible, just to conform according to their stage in life.

 

[SonOfMan]

It is not even promised! The vow regarding children is typically omitted when elderly people marry!

The vow is not seeking persons to promise to be ok with the impossible, just to conform according to their stage in life.

I was at a wedding of an older infertile couple not long ago and they did have to vow to be open to children.

If that vow is ommitted for certain (elderly) couples, why cant it be ommitted for other couples who wish to marry and cant/dont want to have children?

Is it wrong to want to have monagamous sex and a life partner without wanting the children? It appears St. Paul thought it was ok, because he suggests as a solution for those who cant control their passions to marry. He said nothing about children there.

 

[Rau]

I was at a wedding of an older infertile couple not long ago and they did have to vow to be open to children.

I think you mean that the vow was included in the ceremony, not that they were compelled to include it. It is not required past childbearing age.

If that vow is ommitted for certain (elderly) couples, why cant it be ommitted for other couples who wish to marry and cant/dont want to have children?

The inability to have children, whether due to old age or sterility, is not an impediment to marriage. [Impotence is a different matter.]

The deliberate and permanent choice to avoid children invalidates marriage because it is at odds with the Church’s understanding of marriage:

Canon 1096.1 For matrimonial consent to exist, it is necessary that the contracting parties be at least not ignorant of the fact that marriage is a permanent partnership between a man and a woman, ordered to the procreation of children through some form of sexual cooperation. “Ordered to procreation of children” does not mean “seeks children” or even “capable of children” - it just means the path that leads to children is not deliberately and entirely thwarted.

Is it wrong to want to have monagamous sex and a life partner without wanting the children? It appears St. Paul thought it was ok, because he suggests as a solution for those who cant control their passions to marry. He said nothing about children there.

There is no compulsion to “want” children - just that you may not assiduously act to void them. St Paul had no need to mention children because they are the natural result of most marriages.

 

[SonOfMan]

What if not wanting children is more of an “inability” (like with elderly couples. If the ability was restored, then they’d have children), rather than a deliberate choice?

 

[Buck_Crosswhite]

If you don’t want children you shouldn’t get married.

 

[Rau]

What if not wanting children is more of an “inability” (like with elderly couples. If the ability was restored, then they’d have children), rather than a deliberate choice?

Tongue in cheek?

If u don’t want children, you can still get married, you just need to not seek to deliberately thwart their arrival. You must simply be prepared to accept what comes.