Is it ok to feel called to the Diaconate as a 'first' vocation?

[DL82]

OK, I’m starting to come out of everything else that’s been weighing me down in this discernment process. The one thing I can say, out of all of it, that gives me peace instead of feeling like a failure or like my life is at an end, is the thought of being a Deacon some day.

Thing is, I’m 27, I’m single, I could quite easily join the priesthood or religious life. Many people talk of the Permanent Diaconate as a ‘second vocation’, as in, they are called to married life first, and only then to the Diaconate in addition. I don’t feel that way. I’d be content to be a single Deacon (even though I could be a priest), and if I do get married (which I hope to), I would be looking for someone who wants to be a Deacon’s wife (I like the Eastern Church’s take on that, that being a priest or deacon’s wife is a vocation in its’ own right).

Am I misunderstanding the purpose of the Permanent Diaconate in the Roman Church? Is it only ever supposed to be a vocation for those who (through age, marriage or other responsibilities) can’t become priests? That seems to me to be an inadequate view of the diaconate, and does dishonour to an office which graced the first martyr of the Church.

I’d really appreciate your thoughts.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I don’t believe it’s appropriate to view the permanent diaconate as a ‘second vocation’ or some desperate attempt to make up for the failure of not enrolling in the seminary to become a priest. It’s my strong belief that the permanent diaconate is a vocation within a vocation–that is a vocation within the call of marriage. The perplexity of the call can be mind-boggling to some, but the feeling of failure should in no way hinder your desire to do what God is asking of you (easier said than done, right? ). I do agree, though, that the deaconate should not be a way out if you are called to be a priest simply because you feel scared or unsure. The deaconate is a different calling than the priesthood.

What you are misunderstanding though (the only thing I can tell from your post) is that the Roman Catholic Church does not allow permanent deacons to be married after they are ordained to the deaconate. If you are feeling a calling to marriage, the RCC requires that you wait until after you are married because it is something that must be mutually discerned as husband and wife. I’m not familiar with the requirements in other rites, however. But I do know that men can not be ordained to the permanent deaconate until they are at least 35.

Do you have a spiritual director that is guiding you in these matters? If not, I would recommend that you find one soon so you can discuss these feelings you are having in detail and see what he/she says. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide. But don’t ever assume for one second that if God is calling you to the deaconate instead of the priesthood that you are somehow ‘sub par.’ Each God-given vocation is a gift in itself and a way to build up God’s Kingdom.

 

[DL82]

Just to clarify, of course I realise you cant marry after being ordained Deacon, what I mean is that, if I get to 35 or 40 and am still unmarried, I would be happy to remain a single Deacon. If, on the other hand, the right lady comes along BEFORE that, I would want her to know that that is what I feel called to and embrace it before we decide to marry. Does that make sense, or have I still got everything back to front?

 

[SerraSemper]

Yes, it is perfectly fine to feel called to the diaconate as one’s first vocation. It was not designed primarily for married men, although many have embraced it who are married. It is a vocation in and of itself and not tied to being a “vocation in a vocation to marriage”. Of course, if one is married, one must have the consent of one’s wife and have the freedom to assume the heavy workload diaconal ministry (and training/formation) usually requires.

In all Eastern Catholic Churches as well as in the Orthodox Churches a married man may become a priest, but not a bishop, who must be celibate. No priest can get married. There is very little room in the Eastern Catholic Churches for permanent deacons for the kind of ministry we are used to in the Roman Catholic Church (officiating at weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc.). In the Eastern Catholic Churches/Orthodox Churches they use deacons primarily as assistants at the altar and perhaps for doing charitable works because of the way the sacraments are celebrated (all require a priest except baptism in case of danger of death).

 

[plato3]

Interesting side note: one of the first groups of permanent deacons that were ordained on the west coast were from Fr. John Corapi’s order.

 

[FunDir]

DL82, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I am a Permanent Deacon who is married, but there were a number of men in my formation classes who have always been single, and have become blessings to the Church in their “single” diaconate calling.
You mentioned in your first post that you liked the Eastern Church’s thought that being a Deacon’s wife is a vocation in its own right. Actually the Roman Church feels the same way — perhaps in some instances not on the same scale, but a vocation nonetheless.
You are in my prayers as you listen and respond to the Holy Spirit’s work in you.