Is it ok to gradually stop doing something?

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I am a Catholic teenager who has somewhat of an addiction to masturbating and fantisizing (not about actual sex, some about things that sexually turn me on). When I was younger I didn’t know it was wrong, but now I’ve heard teachings, and feel a little guilty.

Is it ok if I do it gradually less and less and eventually stop?

If I stop do I still have to say it in confession?

Is it really that bad of a sin?

If I do have to confess it in Reconciliation, do I have to define it specifically or can I just say, “I gave in to temptation.”?

Have a good day
Happy Easter
 
No…

One cannot.

It is a grave matter…for mortal sin…so I would confess it if one should fall…one needs to confess mortal sins in number and kind…so name the actual sin and the number.

(but there can be factors that will reduce ones guilt…but it is still best to confess it and say what the factors are that may reduce the guilt…the priest can help judge)

From the Catechism

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
But take heart! Jesus loves you! and if one should happen to fall…he is the Good Shepherd who seeks out his sheep…(of course one still needs to not do such…)

2342 Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life.128 The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence.

2343 Chastity has laws of growth which progress through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin. "Man . . . day by day builds himself up through his many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth."129

vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm#II
 
coolcatholicguy said:
I am a Catholic teenager who has somewhat of an addiction to masturbating and fantisizing (not about actual sex, some about things that sexually turn me on). When I was younger I didn’t know it was wrong, but now I’ve heard teachings, and feel a little guilty.

Is it ok if I do it gradually less and less and eventually stop?

If I stop do I still have to say it in confession?

Is it really that bad of a sin?

If I do have to confess it in Reconciliation, do I have to define it specifically or can I just say, “I gave in to temptation.”?
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In a sense, we’re all “gradually” stopping in our sins, since none of us can be certain that we won’t sin again, even though we firmly resolve not to.

.
 
You can not just reduce the sin from, say, 3 times each day this week, then next week I’ll attempt it twice, then once…etc etc. You may die in the process with mortal sin on your soul. Plus, it is almost presumption. Stop completely and confess it. Receive the grace from the sacrament and resolve not to ever consider it again.

God bless.
 
what about 1 Corinthians 6:12 where is says all things not specifically defined in the scriptures are lawful for believers.

And in the Cathecism it says that habits are not as bad.

If I pray to God on this daily, not go to Confession this week but the next time my family goes and say this there, and try willingly to gradually overcome the addiction, I believe it is alright. Please tell me if I’m wrong.

Also, I gave up masturbating (along with Ice Cream) for Lent but am thinking about doing it a little bit now after it. Giving it up for Lent really helped and I feel less need to do it now. If I do this, say, 3 times a week the next 2 weeks, than 2 times a week, than once a week, and then never, and say it at my next Confession, is it alright?
 
coolcatholicguy said:
what about 1 Corinthians 6:12 where is says all things not specifically defined in the scriptures are lawful for believers.

And in the Cathecism it says that habits are not as bad.

If I pray to God on this daily, not go to Confession this week but the next time my family goes and say this there, and try willingly to gradually overcome the addiction, I believe it is alright. Please tell me if I’m wrong.

Also, I gave up masturbating (along with Ice Cream) for Lent but am thinking about doing it a little bit now after it. Giving it up for Lent really helped and I feel less need to do it now. If I do this, say, 3 times a week the next 2 weeks, than 2 times a week, than once a week, and then never, and say it at my next Confession, is it alright?
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The ordered use of meat and drink etc is lawful for believers. Not things that are in themselves intrinsically evil, which is the case for masturbation. Let’s not make excuses. Sin is sin, and offensive to God. Do not use the excuse ‘it’s a habit’ to justify evil behavior.
 
Also, is it ok to masturbate if I don’t ejaculate?
 
coolcatholicguy said:
Also, is it ok to masturbate if I don’t ejaculate?
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Even without the wasting of seed, the act is ordered only to pleasure of oneself. There is no self-giving in this action whatsoever. You are playing a dangerous game here.

Make a firm resolution today, with the help of Saint Joseph, the guardian of chastity, to give up all lustful desires and assistence to avoid occasions of sin.
 
coolcatholicguy said:
what about 1 Corinthians 6:12 where is says all things not specifically defined in the scriptures are lawful for believers.

And in the Cathecism it says that habits are not as bad.

If I pray to God on this daily, not go to Confession this week but the next time my family goes and say this there, and try willingly to gradually overcome the addiction, I believe it is alright. Please tell me if I’m wrong.

Also, I gave up masturbating (along with Ice Cream) for Lent but am thinking about doing it a little bit now after it. Giving it up for Lent really helped and I feel less need to do it now. If I do this, say, 3 times a week the next 2 weeks, than 2 times a week, than once a week, and then never, and say it at my next Confession, is it alright?
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No …the approach you are suggesting of is not permitted by the Church…

and one can never intend to sin…such is already a sin

It is possible yes that a habit may reduce ones guilt but one can not ‘plan’ such things as noted above. Nor presume this is the case…

One must repent and firmly resolve to avoid this sin and those things that are near occasions for it…period.

then if one falls …one repents again…truly turning away again from the sin…

Sin is not something we give up for Lent…and then return to. We convert ourselves more from sin of course during lent …but we give up ‘good things’ such as ice cream *** a penance and to help us avoid evil things

Make an act of perfect contrition which includes the intention to get to confession as soon as possible…and then get to confession.
 
how about if I make a promise to stop doing it all together by the end of July, and the next time I go to Confession I say this, and I set restrictions for now. I believe that would be good, especially if I pray about it daily, I don’t think I need to stop right away.
 
And scripture never says anything directly against masturbation.
 
how about if I make a solemn promise to stop by the end of this month?
 
coolcatholicguy said:
how about if I make a solemn promise to stop by the end of this month?
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Make a promise to stop today. You may die before the end of the month. Before the Judgement Seat, there is no room for negotiation. You either love God and stop, or you turn away from Him and keep sinning. You may fall again a few times, but for God to forgive you each time, you must be sorry and resolve not to do so again.
 
I’ve just been taught that masturbation is ok my whole life until a few months ago and am trying to stop. I’m still young and genuinely want to stop. If I do it only on special occasions, and stop doing it soon, and am otherwise be a good Christian, and confess this at Confession when I go, I believe God will understand.
 
coolcatholicguy said:
What about this site?

sexinchrist.com/masturbation.html
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That same site says that oral sex, anal sex, and group sex is alright, which I knew to be wrong even before I found out masturbation was wrong.

That site is not only misinformed, it is a false guide, stay away from it. It will lead you to doing worse things than just masturbation.

Now, what you need to do is talk to your priest. Don’t be embarassed, basically every Catholic guy struggles with this sin. You likely fall under the extenuating circumstances, which could make masturbation, in your case, a venial sin due to youth, habit, hormones, etc., but you can’t make that decision, only a priest can.

This does not mean that you should keep doing it if your priest tells you that you have extenuating circumstances. You should try your best to avoid it.

However, we all fall occasionally. We are sinners, it is impossible for us to completely avoid sinning. That’s why we show true remorse for our sins, and attend confession.

Since it would be a venial sin for you (assuming your priest says it is for you) , it would not prevent you from entering God’s grace if you were to die somehow after committing that sin and before receiving Confession.

Trust me, as an 18 year old guy in college, I struggle almost constantly with sins of lust. Sexual desire is something good that God gave us, but we abuse it. Don’t get the idea that sex is bad. Sex is a wonderful thing when a married couple perform it together and allow for the possibility of conception. It’s also not evil when you find a girl to be attractive or anything, as long as you don’t dwell on it in a sexual nature. Of course I find a lot of girls my age to be very attractive, and I am interested in starting a romantic (non-sexual) relationship with one, and do I fall sometimes and lust for one? Yes. But, I try to keep focusing on the overall value of these beautiful women. They are more than just sexual objects, they have their own opinions, their own interests, and their own hobbies. They are unique, blessed individuals.

You’re not alone. You can fight it. Have faith and confidence in Christ.

EDIT: Also, it’s pretty easy to tell a site is not morally correct when they have a page titled “Fisting and God’s Will”
 
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