Is It Okay If I Only Want Catholic Friends?

[Jovian90]

Friends bring influence, by only having Catholic friends, I will only experience Catholic influence, therefore it is good to have Catholic friends, right. I do not mean to be exclusionist, it’s just I had some non-Catholic friends who bashed the Catholic Church, which did some considerable damage to my faith, thus, I think it would be for the best if I only had Catholic friends. Is this a good thing?

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

It’s perfectly fine to only have catholic friends.

 

[TK421]

People have varying definitions of “friend” but up to a certain point it can be increasingly difficult to be personal with somebody if you have widely divergent worldviews. Some non-Catholic friends are much easier to have than others. If somebody feels the need to bash the Church or Christianity in general that is going to be a strained relationship.

Children and teenagers seem to be able to make friends with anybody under the sun but as people get older they lose that ability.

 

[JanR]

Wouldn’t it be uncharitable to exclude good people from your life, from friendship with you, simply because they aren’t Catholic? And wouldn’t that potentially be harmful in some ways? We all need good and true friends in our lives, and these might not always be people who share our faith.

We shouldn’t shun good, honest friendship because of differing religious beliefs. What if someone shunned YOU because you don’t believe as they do?

There’s too much of that kind of bigotry already in this country. Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself. He never said to only love, and be friends with Catholics.

You could be causing yourself to miss out on some very warm and rewarding relationships by excluding from friendship those who aren’t Catholic.

I might also add that there’s no guarantee that people who share your faith will be good friends to you. They might turn their backs on you when you need them, even if they are also Catholics, whereas a non-Catholic friend might be there for you.

 

[HumbleIOughtToBe]

Whatever the answer may be to the original question:
How will Evangelization Happen if only Catholic’s talk to Catholics. We build a culture, our own {TV, Radio, Forums, Neighborhood, Books, Catholic Twitter, Etc}, while being called to transform the main culture.

 

[Lou2U]

Well, you can definitely find better friends who respect your beliefs. That doesn’t necessarily require them to be Catholic. And some Catholics may be more relaxed in their faith than you are. It’s all down to the individual. Don’t discount people before you know them, is my advice.

 

[twf]

I dont understand how one can fulfill the command to evangelize if we are only friends with practicing Catholics.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Wouldn’t it be uncharitable to exclude good people from your life

That isn’t what’s being described. He’s describing bad people who mock the faith.

He also isn’t saying he won’t associate with non-catholics, only that they won’t be friends. That doesn’t preclude acquaintance.

We all need good and true friends in our lives, and these might not always be people who share our faith.

They will be if we choose it to be.

We shouldn’t shun good, honest friendship because of differing religious beliefs. What if someone shunned YOU because you don’t believe as they do?

Not that shunning was being discussed but people are free to choose with whom they associate and how closely they wish to associate with others. It’s not friends or nothing. Friendship implies a level of intimacy and trust that should not be given to just anyone.

There’s too much of that kind of bigotry already in this country.

Choosing friends rather than acquaintances isn’t bigotry, it’s discernment.

Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself.

Which means to will the good for them, not necessarily be intimate with them. He said to love them, not be friends with them. Jesus doesn’t call everyone his friend.

I might also add that there’s no guarantee that people who share your faith will be good friends to you.

Correct. It’s a starting point, not the only criteria.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

I don’t only talk to friends. Do you?

 

[aroosi]

I see three problems with this:
*Also non Catholic people are precious in the sight of God so cutting off your life all non Catholic people is diminishing the value of their lives (of course you can set boundaries with ‘toxic’ people, but they are not necessarily all the non Catholics).
*Catholic means universal so living in your own Catholic bubble is not very ‘Catholic’
*in certain life circumstances you can find yourself being the only (if not one of the few) Catholic. Are you going to stop any interaction with your coworkers, friends, family, neighbors just because they are not Catholics?

 

[DIERM]

Its fine, but you are going to miss out on a lot of the good things in life.

 

[redbetta]

I think that has something to do with the fact that, as we get older, we figure out what our values and priorities are, and so become pickier about who we associate with. For kids and, to a lesser extent, teenagers, friends are just people you hang out with and share common interests, not necessarily people you can confide in or trust they’ll have your back when things get rough.

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

That evangelization method doesn’t really work and you don’t need to be friends in order to evangelize.

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

No, he’s not. Maybe some vain funs, but they’re empty when it’s over. Not that hard to replace either.

 

[TK421]

Wouldn’t it be uncharitable to exclude good people from your life, from friendship with you, simply because they aren’t Catholic? And wouldn’t that potentially be harmful in some ways? We all need good and true friends in our lives, and these might not always be people who share our faith.

We shouldn’t shun good, honest friendship because of differing religious beliefs. What if someone shunned YOU because you don’t believe as they do?

There’s too much of that kind of bigotry already in this country. Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself. He never said to only love, and be friends with Catholics.

You could be causing yourself to miss out on some very warm and rewarding relationships by excluding from friendship those who aren’t Catholic.

I might also add that there’s no guarantee that people who share your faith will be good friends to you. They might turn their backs on you when you need them, even if they are also Catholics, whereas a non-Catholic friend might be there for you.

I think broadly speaking you are correct in everything you say, especially your last point about how Catholics can hurt, disappoint, or betray you and you can’t assume too much based on a person’s religion.

But unfortunately it’s also true that the differences in worldview can become pretty wide. It completely depends on the person, but things like open marriage or non-marriages means that a practicing Catholic could have a very, very different lifestyle than somebody else and that makes it difficult to interact and socialize in a deep way. As in: going to each other’s houses, spending time together on the weekend, babysitting each others’ kids or having them over to play, etc. The kind of stuff true friends do, which is different from a coworker that you have warm relations with.

I don’t advocate Catholics isolating themselves from the world and I agree that isolation can lead to an elitist clique-mentality that isn’t bold or Christlike or charitable or holy. But… there are problems with building deep friendships with anybody that are hard to ignore. This has been a struggle for Christians since the 1st century who want to live out their faith authentically and it’s not something that can be easily swept under the rug. It’s a narrow line to walk on.

 

[Jovian90]

Hi, sorry if I offended anyone, I was asking this question because I have had people from a evangelical church try to be friends with me and tried to invite me to their church, and I felt like I was compromising my Catholicity by participating in their group.

 

[JanR]

I don’t think anyone here is offended. I’m not. I just hate to see people miss out on good things because of a particular mindset.

If you are uncomfortable attending their church or otherwise socializing with them, trust your instincts.

 

[twf]

Really? Through relationships we can touch people and bring them to Christ.

 

[twf]

I wouldn’t ask any of my friends, Catholic or otherwise, to babysit my son. Siblings and parents sure. I think different people on this thread may have different definitions of “friend”. If a friend is only someone who you treat like family, entrust your kids to, etc… then I see why someone might say they only will have Catholic friends. I would use the term friend more broadly.
Of course my wife isn’t Catholic… I sure hope she counts as a friend. My parents aren’t Catholic for that matter either and they’re definitely friends.

 

[CarmeliteKnight]

Nope, you are more than justifed with wanting only Catholics as close friends. Take it from me, non-Catholic friends’ attitude on the faith will rub off on you.