Is it okay to be happy?

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Please do not let killjoys ruin your peace and happiness. I once saw an image of Jesus laughing; He was no killjoy
 
Hello.

My two cents …

Didn’t Jesus say somewheres “I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”

It’s good to be aware though about the temptation towards materialism. I struggle with that one, among many.

Thank you for your post.
 
It’s a very good question. Once you start contemplating happiness, and your feelings, you can’t go back… many things will be seen as they are - questionable, empty, etc. It’s a beautiful process but it oftentimes doesn’t seem so. 🙂

If you have enough persistence, and don’t settle for comfortable thoughts, you will find “things” which satisfy every single part of you, and lead to happiness. For me it has to do with God, and a few things which seem at first to be something else, but in reality they probably have a lot to do with God (His will) - it may be using my talents in a good way, or fulfilling what I’m meant to do here. For each one of us it’s something different (because it’s also in the small things)!

From a psychological point of view, what you are experiencing is a conflict of probably a few parts of you, one wants to enjoy pleasures, but the other one is more skeptical about them (and it probably is right, but why doesn’t it produce any solutions in your case?). So… my advice would be to first of all deal with the skeptic part, to examine it, maybe it became prideful at some point?, or started being skeptic just for the sake of being skeptic? I don’t know you enough, but I give you this advice because you said you are “overthinking things”. This use of words indicates that more thinking is done than you yourself feel is necessary, right? Or that the thinking is done in a wrong direction, knowingly.

Using your intellect should eventually make you happy (if the goal of using the intelllect is noble). It’s easy to allow yourself to pollute the gifts you get from God, for example by becoming prideful while using some of the gifts. If you think a lot, there should be eventually some positive outcomes like happiness, clarity, understanding, or even a strange kind of acceptance through realizing you will never find an answer to certain problems! Those outcomes often come after long struggles, and thinking about things intensively for long periods of time, but they definitely do come. Also, your intellect can work FOR the part of you that wants happiness, not against it. Why doesn’t it?

As long as we are talking about common pleasures, a compromise between those two can usually be found. (though in the eyes of someone who takes his faith very seriously, any pleasure taken in anything else than God, or from God, is an obstacle and should be recognized and eventually avoided… not that you can’t enjoy it… but it has to go eventually). I would give this kind of advice to myself 😛 It’s not pleasant, but I whole-heartedly believe it and the results of those who followed that path, speak for themselves.

If we were talking about spiritual pleasures however, things would get very, very complicated. Is that the case? Hope not, because even though I could say many things, making a conclusion would seem very difficult. The field of spiritual experiences is infinitely more individual, than of the common experiences, and each has to be carefully examined, as said in the scriptures.

If you are unsure, it’s always good to pray. Remember you never know where God might take you.
 
JustinK said:
Like today, we went to Taco Bell and I got a new power cord for a dvd player that had been broken for years. I also got a cd to play in my car on drives to work. It might not seem like much at all and it may be silly, but to me that was a good day. But why does it feel like I can’t have that all the time? I mean, okay, not ALL the time. I know suffering is good and polishes us to be more holy in the end, but I just want to feel like it’s okay to be happy with life.

To live and not just exist. To be one of those people who gets mad about something like a football call. To feel like my opinion matters, though they are often treated like a breeze in the wind if it doesn’t jive with someone else. I’m not sure what I want, and it seems selfish of me to ask for it or feel like I deserve something when I do.
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The problem comes about when we become dependent on earthly things to make us happy-when we idolize them and they become our gods IOW. This can involve money, things, people, accomplishments, fame, glory, etc. And the biggest problem is simply that those things cannot deliver, in any kind of lasting way, the happiness they promise. But the church’s whole mission, believe it or not, is your ultimate happiness. Adam actually forfeited that happiness by deciding he knew better than God what would bring him the happiness and fulfillment that we’re actually created to desire according to the Catholic Catechism. But all those little feelings and enjoyments you describe are good and natural-they’re experiences of good; they’re small precursors of the happiness God has in store for us in fact. They just can’t be depended upon to satisfy us the way He, alone, can.
 
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“Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

John Stuart Mill

I know this thread is quite old, but just something I read the other day and thought it might help
 
Rosebud,

I looked for that picture after reading this. If Jesus could be happy with the weight of everything he had on his shoulders, I should be able to find joy as well. Thanks!
 
Phil,

For the longest time I felt happiness equated to becoming complacent with things. And to me, that felt like a bad thing to do. But I have never been good at silencing thoughts and figure it best to keep my mouth shut most times. It sucks seeing people just living life when you seem to feel like you’re on the outside of everything. There’s a great urge to just let it go and join them. I feel like I’m getting better little by little. Each step for me is a big one.

Thanks for your comment.
 
Bear,

I can agree with that quote. The issue lies with wanting to ‘live and not just exist’. I feel so close to an answer sometimes and then other times it feels like nothing truly matters because we are a broken people. Like we’re trying to be happy and do our best in a withered Garden of Eden or something. It seems so easy to just not be ‘black and white’ like I have been my whole life, but it’s not an easy mindset to change. I’m trying day by day, though.

Thank you for the quote.
 
Ed,

I too, have a Catholic mother. I know the thinking that comes with religious differences all too well. It can be a struggle, indeed.

Thanks for your comment.
 
Crenfro,

I had a thought the other day that God gave us this world so that we can live in it obviously. So there must be a reason to live the best you can.

I’ve always been one to kind of take the smaller room, not need a lot to make me content, and the like. I’m moving into a new apartment and oh my is it way bigger than what I’m used to. I’m not going to lie, it feels exciting to think of the possibilities that come with space and feeling like I can get some new things to decorate and such.

For instance, I have been wanting a new computer for awhile now. I enjoy playing video games in my spare time and it’s my main way that I prefer to wind down after a day of work. However, part of me feels like it’s selfish almost. I’m not sure why, maybe I’m not used to it. I don’t plan on going crazy with buying things, but certain upgrades can be nice. I’m fine with my 99’ Honda even though it’s not the best. My laptop is from 2009 with 2 gigs of RAM. It runs things fine, but I’d like to get back into some of the games I used to play and such.

It’s good to be mindful of controlling your possessions and not letting them control you.

Thank you for your reply.
 
Tom,

I appreciate your words of advice.

It’s always seemed to me that I’ve been an outsider in my own life. Looking at everyone else just going about their day.

I’ve been contemplating if some of the things that make me happy are my will or God’s will. I believe that I have a talent in making people laugh. But what I’ve found is that a lot of times, it seems as though I try to make other people happy because I feel like I can’t be happy myself. I recognize that’s probably not a good thing and am working to change that about myself.

As far as the psychological aspect, I definitely experience a conflict on almost a daily basis. I think it’s mostly about being skeptical for the sake of being skeptical. My family and friends tell me that I overthink things all the time. But I’ve always wanted to do the ‘right’ thing. I remember this especially happening in college. I was raised in Catholic school my whole life. Going from that to a college where everyone had all these different perspectives and ideas stirred something in me. I have to agree that I think about things more than necessary, but my mind tells me that it’s ‘good’ to be mindful of things that I can easily become complacent with. So I end up over analyzing everything I do.

See, I feel torn on the whole intellect thing. With the whole idea of ‘not relying on our own intellect because we’ll never even begin to comprehend God’s plan for us’. But I remember having a talk with my brother. He told me that if he was completely logical, he wouldn’t eat ice cream because it can lead to obesity or such. Then he told me since emotion is involved with being a human, he eats ice cream because he enjoys the taste. I think there has to be a balance of both. Somebody told me once that introspection is a gift but it can be incredibly isolating, and I tend to agree with them. I mean logically, we should do things that bring happiness. Emotionally, it feels good to us. But again, the more I think of it, the more it spirals out of control. Like ‘Oh, if this is alright then is this alright, too?’

I liked your comment about recognizing obstacles in regards to spirituality and cutting those out. I can relate to this in more ways than one.

I mean, spirituality and more secular thinking is definitely a struggle that I have come across. I agree that certain things should be avoided. But like you say, you can enjoy it, but it has to go eventually. Part of me would rather not enjoy it at all because I might think that it’s alright to do in the end. But part of me sees other people living how they live and admittedly, they are much happier than I am now.

My mom says that we are all on our own spiritual journey. Perhaps I have to stop stressing for a bit and let it go.

I have a hard time knowing when I get an answer from a prayer. But the events of the past year have led me to examine a lot about myself. I have been incredibly blessed to take each experience as a lesson in growing up and while some have been hard, they have shaped me into who I am today. This new move is scary and I’m not fond of change in the slightest, but maybe it’s meant to be in the long run.

Thank you for your comment.
 
Fhansen,

I agree becoming dependent on things to make us happy can lead us to where we feel lost when we go without them.

My brother has a quote in his house that says, ‘The best things in life aren’t things.’

I have been thinking about the apple a lot. And it seems the more we possess, buy, or idolize something of this world, the more we want it. This is perhaps why I feel drawn to just not do anything. Yet, there has to be a balance. For instance, I just got a smartphone a few years ago. However, It has no data on it because I feel like if I could access internet, games, or apps anywhere then that’s what I’d become focused on. Like since having this phone, I feel like I wouldn’t be able to go back to a flip phone or one with a slide-out keyboard. This one has auto-correct and yes, I know that’s been around forever, but it makes typing so much faster. Anyway, my point is, I’m afraid that the more I do and experience here, the more I’ll want more.

Perhaps the key is a detachment of sorts Like, I’m not going to lie, I am really excited to hook up my old tv and buy some dvds to watch at night. Or to get a new computer and download games to enjoy with friends. Or turning my room into a music room of sorts to practice in. It’s about freedom for me, really. My current living situation has taught me a lot in regards to moving on with things.

I have to keep in mind though that while enjoyable, they can’t be depended on. Which is going to be a challenge at times.

Last week’s homily was about giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God’s what is God’s. He made an interesting comparison when he talked about the image of Cesar on the coin. He talked about if God had a coin. Basically, he concluded that since we are made in God’s image, we should be striving to give ourselves to God.

Just a little interesting thing to think about. Maybe in detaching from certain things, it’ll allow to make more space to let Him in. As he said with the coin, the more we make it about us (our image), the less space He has.

Thank you for your reply.
 
AAT,

Thank you for the quote.

It helps a lot in fact. I take it to mean that if you are happy, you shouldn’t have to question it.

This resonates with me because I tent to overthink things a lot. An example of this is if something makes me happy, I question whether or not it’s okay to be happy as a result of it. It’s really rather tiresome and it makes little sense, but it’s just something I have to work on. I would love to just be happy without questioning every little detail of what makes me happy.

Thank you again for your reply.
 
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