Is it okay to call Sisters "ma'am"?

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Daniel2210

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First of all, I’m sorry if this is not the right place to be posting this kind of question. I couldn’t find a subforum that seemed to fit the description for it. 😛

Okay, so my entire life, I have been taught to always say “Yes sir” and “Yes ma’am” to people older than me. However, yesterday, after my Catechism class, I was confronted by one of my friends who said I was being rude saying “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am” to the Sister who was teaching our class. He told me that you should always say “Yes, Sister,” and “No, Sister,” instead of “Ma’am”. I’m not really sure whether he is right or not, though, because I have never been confronted about it before. To me, it seems like ending every response with “Sister” can make me sound annoyed or perturbed, because, to me at least, it’s almost the equivalent of saying someone’s name after every response. Would it be best to just say “Yes” and “No” and not add anything afterwards? I’d really like to know what everyone’s opinion on this matter is, because I don’t want to be rude to any of the sisters working hard at our church. 🙂

Also, following the same guideline as the last question, is it okay to say “Yes sir” and “No sir” to Priests and Deacons? If not, then what would be the most acceptable thing to say?

Edit: Okay, I just looked at some of the other threads in this subforum and realized this is definitely not the place to be posting this sort of question. Sorry about that! If someone could move this into the right section, that’d be great!
 
No it’s a sign of disrespect towards them remember Daniel that they are Brides of Christ and that they have given their lives to Him.

It’s only respectful to call them Sister much like a Priest should always be called Father and Deacon must be called Deacon.
 
It should be “Sister” or “Father.” Regardless of the context or how many times it’s repeated.

It’s the same for other forms of address such as Deacon or Mother (or Mother Superior if it’s more formal), Brother, Monsignor, etc. etc.
 
You should respond in the way in which you would address them. In this instance it seems they go as “Sister” and then you should say that.

If they were, say, at a grocery store, not in habit and ordered a pound of cheese from the deli it would not be disrespectful for the counter person to say “Have a nice day, ma’am” because they would have no way to know otherwise.

I have worked with sisters who were physicians. In that case they were called “Doctor” by their patients.
 
Thanks for the replies, guys. I really appreciate it! 😃

Now I feel a little embarrassed about all the times I called the Sisters “Ma’am.” I hope they weren’t too offended. 😦 I will start to say Sister from now on, but would it still be polite if I just said “No” and “Yes” without saying Sister afterwards? I know this question probably sounds really weird to a lot of people, but I’ve been raised to always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, so saying anything else just feels off to me.
 
Daniel2210 said:
Thanks for the replies, guys. I really appreciate it! 😃

Now I feel a little embarrassed about all the times I called the Sisters “Ma’am.” I hope they weren’t too offended. 😦 I will start to say Sister from now on, but would it still be polite if I just said “No” and “Yes” without saying Sister afterwards? I know this question probably sounds really weird to a lot of people, but I’ve been raised to always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, so saying anything else just feels off to me.
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I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure they knew you were being polite in the way you were taught. It does take time to learn new words and actions for those of us who weren’t brought up Catholic. Give it time and be at peace about it. 🙂
 
If you’re Catholic then it’s Sister (or Father or Brother.)
 
Daniel2210 said:
Thanks for the replies, guys. I really appreciate it! 😃

Now I feel a little embarrassed about all the times I called the Sisters “Ma’am.” I hope they weren’t too offended. 😦 I will start to say Sister from now on, but would it still be polite if I just said “No” and “Yes” without saying Sister afterwards? I know this question probably sounds really weird to a lot of people, but I’ve been raised to always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, so saying anything else just feels off to me.
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Don’t fret. 🙂 I’m sure they thought you were trying your hardest to be respectful! 🙂
 
Sister is the proper title.

Even in movies a nun was called sister by everyone,including non-Catholics.

Ma’am is short for madam & Sir, short for mister. Sister & Father are their status in the church.
 
I understand the ma’am thing pretty well because I spent part of my childhood in the South where were were instructed to call any adult woman “ma’am.” My mother didn’t like it, though, even though she loved Southren culture. She told me quite firmly to call her mother or mom, but not ma’am. She said, “I’m your mother not your ma’am.” I didn’t understand her objections at the time, but I now realize that, to her, using ma’am was the same as denying our relationship. It’s the same with a religious sister. We call her that because that’s our relationship with her in the body of Christ. Evangelicals will also call the ladies “sister” and the men “brother” since we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
Why don’t you ask your parents or the sister in question the proper address?
 
Daniel2210 said:
Thanks for the replies, guys. I really appreciate it! 😃

Now I feel a little embarrassed about all the times I called the Sisters “Ma’am.” I hope they weren’t too offended. 😦 I will start to say Sister from now on, but would it still be polite if I just said “No” and “Yes” without saying Sister afterwards? I know this question probably sounds really weird to a lot of people, but I’ve been raised to always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, so saying anything else just feels off to me.
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If they didn’t correct you at the time then they probably weren’t bothered by it. Don’t fret about it. If possible, you might just want to ask them how they prefer to be addressed.
 
Pardon me for my liberal ways, but I think Ma’am is OK, esp. in the south as that is a respectful way of acknowledging someone older. And these days many Sisters have dropped the title of Sister and just use their names. Unless they are in a full habit take your cues from how others address them or how they say wish to be addressed. Always address them with respect, as you would any one. Life is so full of rules and regulations! LOL!
 
Daniel

There must be quite a number of people that you address by titles other than “Sir” and “Ma’am.” What about physicians? Don’t you say, “Good morning, Doctor,” and “Thank you, Doctor,” whether the physician is a man or a woman? “Sister” is just one more title on the list, like “Father” in the case of a priest, as Trad Catholic pointed out in post #2 on this thread.
 
I was taught to say “Yes, Sister” and “No, Sister” always, as well as Father, Monsignor, Brother, Deacon, etc.
I’m sure they understood you didn’t mean any offense hearing you say, “Ma’am”.
 
In the mid 1970’s, two friends of mine and I were engaged to do some work for a national company headquartered in the South, and something like 15 or 20 individuals traveled to Oregon to start our work. For three guys on the West Coast, it was an almost other-worldly experience; I have never in my life hears so many "Sir"s in a sentence, let alone a paragraph, and that was after three years in the Army.

Some parts of the US are more formal than others; and some parts seemingly go out of their way to be informal. As a child in a Catholic grade school through the 50’s, I probably would have been slapped silly had I replied to a sister or to a priest with a “ma’am” or a “sir”; but today, I suspect that in any conversation, neither “ma’am” nor “Sister” would be used in much at all of a conversation; perhaps as a greeting at the beginning, or in an introduction. But in conversation? We would just speak with them, without any constant references to either Sister of ma’am.

If the area is more formal, then following formality is expected. Whether that formality is “Sister” or the more ubiquitous “ma’am” interjected repeatedly, it is far less the specific word than it is the formality of speech that is expected. Sister is proper; but in some parts of the US, I suspect that little umbrage would be taken to “ma’am” slipped in here and there, particularly when it s done respectfully - as the term could also show disrespect by tone and emphasis.
 
Daniel2210 said:
Thanks for the replies, guys. I really appreciate it! 😃

Now I feel a little embarrassed about all the times I called the Sisters “Ma’am.” I hope they weren’t too offended. 😦 I will start to say Sister from now on, but would it still be polite if I just said “No” and “Yes” without saying Sister afterwards? I know this question probably sounds really weird to a lot of people, but I’ve been raised to always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, so saying anything else just feels off to me.
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While I cannot answer for them, I can answer as if it were me…

How I would respond is “no, I’m not offended at all.”

It’s not a matter of being offended…as if someone were to say “hey, you fool.” That would be offensive. What you’re saying (or were) is not offensive, I can assure you of that.

It’s simply a matter of what’s appropriate.

Calling someone “sir” or “ma’am” is simply not a one-size-fits-all form of address. It might be (and I would say probably is) a sort of “default” form, but it just does not always apply.

Maybe an example…

When I was in the Army, I had a lot of respect for a particular Sergeant Major (I’m remembering a very particular person here). I always addressed him as “Sergeant Major” or “Sergeant Major Smith.” Why? Because that was the proper way to address him. It expressed his rank and experience. It was appropriate. I never addressed him as “sir”—simply because there was a proper (meaning more specific) way of addressing him. I showed him respect by using the form of address that was specifically applicable to him.

It’s the same with clergy and religious. It’s not that we’re offended when people call us by something other than the proper form. It’s just that the proper form is, well, exactly that, the “proper” form.

When you say “Yes, Sister,” it’s not that you’re failing or neglecting to say “ma’am,” it’s just that you’re replacing one word that expresses respect with a different word that’s more applicable to the individual person.
 
FrDavid96 said:
Maybe an example…

When I was in the Army, I had a lot of respect for a particular Sergeant Major (I’m remembering a very particular person here). I always addressed him as “Sergeant Major” or “Sergeant Major Smith.” Why? Because that was the proper way to address him. It expressed his rank and experience. It was appropriate. I never addressed him as “sir”—simply because there was a proper (meaning more specific) way of addressing him. I showed him respect by using the form of address that was specifically applicable to him.
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Well, all that and the fact that he would’ve said “Don’t call me sir! I work for a living!”😃
 
babochka said:
Well, all that and the fact that he would’ve said “Don’t call me sir! I work for a living!”😃
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Actually, he would not have said that.

That’s the “typical” response. He wasn’t like that. He would not have said something that implies that other people don’t work.

He always spoke respectfully about everyone, and to everyone, even the newest recruit Private. He was firm when he needed to be firm, yes, but he always showed respect for the person.

So no, he would not have said that.
 
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