Is it okay to seek Psychological help first before confession?

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Catherine1

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Hello everyone,

I made a previous post about my difficulties with confession. It’s gotten to the point where I am getting panic attacks.I have gotten to the point of almost vomiting, getting hot flashes, and feeling like I can’t breather, and crying at random times during the day. Confession has always been so bad for my mental health and it makes me terribly sad knowing that this is a sacrament that came from the depths of Our Lord’s love for us and I can’t do it. I simply cannot. It’s excruciating every time. It’s like ripping myself apart from the inside out every time. I am convinced this is a foretaste if what hell has to be like. I can’t sleep, eat, or enjoy myself in any way shape or form. I have no peace. I realize that we have to go to confession as soon as possible, but at this point I would jut make a mess of everything. Would it be terrible if I put it off until I can get some professional help? I truly want to be pleasing to Our Lord, but my sins, confession, and fear from previous bad experiences just drown me. Please pray for me and for my family.
 
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Are you a generally anxious person, or is it only confession that causes you to feel this way? Honestly, I think you should speak to a priest outside of the confessional. Tell him about your problem and see what he suggests.

If you don’t get a Catholic counselor, I would be concerned that they may try to talk you out of going to confession. They may try to convince you that you do not need confession, or that it is “not normal.”
 
Let’s examine how Jesus went through trial (confession). First, privately with the Pharisees, he was put on trial without mercy and kept up all night asked many questions without being taken seriously.

Second, he had a public trial (confession) where the people had the choice to free Jesus or the guy who murdered. A mob like crowd convicted Jesus without mercy.

Now, I heard a homely once from an Irish Priest who said, “Thank the Irish, because confessions used to be public” … which kinda sounds like AAA ( hi I’m Xxx and I haven’t had a drink since Xxx) … but could you imagine having to say what you did wrong to a whole crowd? Freaky!!! But then I thought back to the trials that Jesus had and realize the parallel between private and public judgement. Then I kinda came to the knowledge that I will have to have a private judgment (confession) with God … and probably a public one facing all the people I have wronged.

Anyways, back to you question about a psychologist… sometimes my Priest tells me that I need counseling and that my ramblings should be with a counselor. I do tend to talk super fast and in a high pitch voice during confession … kinda like a chipmunk on caffeine… but it’s what I have to offer God … and God will give me the grace to do better given time and practices.
 
Hi Catherine!

From your experiences I’d highly recommend getting professional help. Therapy is a good remedy for your symptoms. And if medications are needed, nothing wrong with that. I understand some of what you’re going through. Just be patient with yourself.
 
I would say it is pretty clear you may be having panic attacks. A good therapist and/or psychiatrist will be able to help you with this.

I am no doctor, so this isn’t medical advice. However, you may wish to research panic attacks. In therapy you will explore whether the idea of confession is causing you to panic, or if you are physically having the panic attack first and it is “attaching” itself to the issue of confession.

I would try not to conflate the issues. I would try to get treatment for the anxiety first, and then worry about trying to go to confession if that is important to you. I say this because if you don’t treat the panic attacks, you could start having them around a lot of other issues.

I hope you are able to find a good professional to help you with this. May people have issues with panic attacks and anxiety. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Try to detach from thinking about it as it associated with going to confession.
 
Hi I can totally understand I have anxiety and I was just received I went to confession before my frist Eucharist and believe me I was worried about this as well but the people on CAF helped me to understand that I didn’t need to be afraid to go to confession, I was a little nervous even though I have talked with the priest before when I went to confession. I converted to the Catholic church so confession was a little scary but I was able to get the grace I needed from God . Yes get professional help if you need to do so but please know that you can always go to confession (God) and ask Him for advice on what you should do. Hope this helps you 😀
 
Usually when people ask to see a psychologist over religious leaders for mental issues I immediately say yes. But I think this might be the exception of the rule. Your having psychological worries ONLY about confession? Sounds to me like your mediator should be a priest in this very situation. Ask if he can put your mind at ease about the process and maybe explain the process to you before you say confession. Frankly, I think that would put your mind at ease more than a pyschologist. Don’t you?
 
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Catherine,
I’m sorry you deleted your last comments. I believe you said something to the effect that you had a bad experience with a priest. It happens, I’m sorry. Priests make mistakes like all of us. I do hope you go again. I’ve added two videos below that I hope will comfort you before you next confession. When you go I hope you give us all an update. ;-). Stop procrastinating.

Sin and Penance


Penance

 
Peace 🙂

Hello, Catherine. I just thought I’d share my thoughts. What comes to mind is that perhaps your difficulties with confession is not a spiritual problem but a psychological one. We should remember that God provides the sacraments for us, but He is not limited to them. That said, I think your heart is in the right place about the sacrament, but there are psychological wounds connected to it, and if they prevent you from immediately going, I cannot believe Our Lord in His Inexhaustible Mercy would look down on you for that. Your desire for confession shows a repentant heart. Your step to seek psychological help first might even be truly necessary for you. Tell all of it to Him, every detail, and He will walk you to His Mercy. You might find it encouraging that this Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday. Peace of Christ be with you, dear sister.
 
There are many Catholic counselors out there that are available to help you with your anxiety issues. Here are a couple links for you. There are faithful counselors that are fully Catholic that are our there to help you with your issues.


 
First, I don’t think you need to feel guilty about delaying Reconciliation while you are taking active steps to get there. Your anxiety is as much a barrier to the confessional as distance would be, and God knows that.

My concern is that if this anxiety is limited to Confession, a psychologist, even a Catholic one, might struggle to help you through it. My experience was that few lay Catholics really understood or appreciated what I meant when I said that the thought of confession was causing panic attacks, and they brushed it off as “No one likes Confession.” It took a priest to really understand what I was saying.

Is there a priest with whom you feel you have a good enough relationship that you can address this? It might help to ask to talk in a casual setting - for instance, knowing of my general anxiety, the priest I worked with would often just sit in the church with me - an open space which I viewed as “safe”. It was less formal than his office or whatever. Don’t be afraid to communicate clearly regarding what you are and are not comfortable with. A good priest won’t get offended.

In the meantime, I will be praying for you that you can overcome this and come to know the beauty of this sacrament.
 
I have suffered from panic and anxiety attacks in the past. I have always been able to deal with them but I did seek help from a professional. She helped a lot, so yes it may very well be a big help.
 
It would be fine to put that off for reasons of health. Indeed, seeking professional help is admirable. You might include your priest in the process as well so that, even if not going to Confession, he may support you spiritually as you heal. Perhaps, once your general health is improved, you may be better able to approach the sacrament without it causing you such suffering.
 
Very interesting. Tell me more about the “ramblings.”
 
I’ve been there with the panic attacks, even up till a couple days ago it resurfaced suddenly. God is with you. I know it is scary, but you’re alive right? It didn’t kill you or me. There was nothing medically wrong that caused those symptoms that you know of right?

I’ve been there about prayer and the sacraments, feeling it made my anxiety worse, but believe me, it’s better to just do it and experience the graces and union with God. The devil can use your anxiety against you to separate you from God. Be aware of that possibility.

Have you tried exercising? Doing something fun you enjoy? Sometimes a healthy distraction can help.
 
I had a bad experience with a priest once. He was about 85 years old and known for being difficult. When I entered the confessional, he would only respond to me in Latin and became very upset I was not doing the same. Not wanting to leave before I was finished, I started speaking only in French. He didn’t seem to like that but went along with it.
 
Ha! I can’t imagine enough people speak Latin for him to do confessionals like that.
 
He only helped the pastor occasionally and spent most of his time pacing circles around the sanctuary praying the Rosary aloud in Latin. If I’d known he was in the confessional that day, I wouldn’t have gone in. But, as it was, I found myself in a holy trap. He’s long since gone to heaven and is no doubt enjoying speaking Latin to all the apostles and other saints. 🤣
 
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Hello.

Therapy and confession dovetail well for me. I haven’t seen your previous post about your difficulties with confession. Could you at least make an appointment to talk to your priest about these difficulties with your feelings about confession?

Confession gets you straight with God. Please do what you can to get beyond these feelings. You are in my prayers. Please pray for me.
 
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