Is it permitted to administer Anointing of the Sick to a person against their will?

[ederouin]

My sister was baptized Roman Catholic as an infant, but rejected organized religion in her early teens. She has not considered herself a Catholic since and has not participated in any way for 50 years. As my sister was in the final days of her losing fight against cancer, she wrote up a list of Final Wishes and posted them in her house. Included among those wishes was that no one come to pray over her and, specifically, no one was to give her “Last Rites”. My father, an avid Catholic, knew about this wish but, fearing her eternal damnation, brought in a priest and the priest administered the Anointment of the Sick as she lie helpless and crying. My father claims that this is not only in line with Catholic policy, but recommended. Is this true?

 

[dans0622]

My sister was baptized Roman Catholic as an infant, but rejected organized religion in her early teens. She has not considered herself a Catholic since and has not participated in any way for 50 years. As my sister was in the final days of her losing fight against cancer, she wrote up a list of Final Wishes and posted them in her house. Included among those wishes was that no one come to pray over her and, specifically, no one was to give her “Last Rites”. My father, an avid Catholic, knew about this wish but, fearing her eternal damnation, brought in a priest and the priest administered the Anointment of the Sick as she lie helpless and crying. My father claims that this is not only in line with Catholic policy, but recommended. Is this true?

Hello,

No, that’s not permitted and should not have happened. A person has to at least implicitly desire/request this Sacrament in order for it to be administered (Code of Canon Law, c. 1006). In the case you recount, the person explicitly rejected it. This is not a new idea in the Church…so, while I can understand the desires of the father, I don’t know where he got the notion that this was recommended.

Dan

 

[808Catholic]

Hello,

No, that’s not permitted and should not have happened. A person has to at least implicitly desire/request this Sacrament in order for it to be administered (Code of Canon Law, c. 1006). In the case you recount, the person explicitly rejected it. This is not a new idea in the Church…so, while I can understand the desires of the father, I don’t know where he got the notion that this was recommended.

Dan

I think we need to be careful opining that this sacrament was invalid. A priest administered the sacrament and we have to presume he knew more about the situation that may have been communicated in the OP’s post.

 

[AKDee]

I was thinking that if the person was unable to communicate, it might be fair to assume they may have changed their mind. Many people do, shortly before death. God will know what’s in their heart, and if they still reject Him, He will know that.

 

[Bonnie]

The priest should have refused. The anointing of the sick is not a magic spell that will save people against their will.

 

[808Catholic]

The priest should have refused. The anointing of the sick is not a magic spell that will save people against their will.

True, sacraments are not magic spells but you never know if the dying person desired grace from God just before he/she died. This final gift may be rejected but we should not deny passing it along.

 

[Bonnie]

True, sacraments are not magic spells but you never know if the dying person desired grace from God just before he/she died. This final gift may be rejected but we should not deny passing it along.

But she was an adult and didn’t want it. That was her decision. I would be very upset if one of my non-Christian relatives decided to do a new age healing ceremony over me - especially if I had made it clear I didn’t want it.

 

[marytk]

I was thinking that if the person was unable to communicate, it might be fair to assume they may have changed their mind. Many people do, shortly before death. God will know what’s in their heart, and if they still reject Him, He will know that.

I had this thought too. THIS IS Not really related but when I took First AId they talked about the need for the person to want help. SO if someone were choking but refused help you didn’t BUT once they passed out then you could start the heimich of what ever

What if a person DID change his mind after not being able to talk…

 

[ederouin]

Thank you, dans0622, for your assurance that this is not permitted or recommended. I was horrified to hear from my father that the opposite was true. In response to those who seem to think it was not a bad idea, “just in case”, I will tell you that her son witnessed her crying and begging, “Stop, stop!” during the rite. It breaks my heart that this was one of her last experiences. And to what Bonnie had to say, even though I am an atheist, I add, “Amen.”

 

[AKDee]

Thank you, dans0622, for your assurance that this is not permitted or recommended. I was horrified to hear from my father that the opposite was true. In response to those who seem to think it was not a bad idea, “just in case”, I will tell you that her son witnessed her crying and begging, “Stop, stop!” during the rite. It breaks my heart that this was one of her last experiences. And to what Bonnie had to say, even though I am an atheist, I add, “Amen.”

If at any point in your original post you’d indicated she asked the priest to stop, my response would have been different. You indicated she was “lying helpless and crying”, which can mean from fear of death, being upset about last rites, or from gladness for receiving last rites. Who knows?

“Stop” on the other hand, is not open for interpretation. In that case, yes, I would agree the priest should have honored her wishes.

 

[1ke]

I think we need to be careful opining that this sacrament was invalid.

No one stated it was invalid.

 

[808Catholic]

But she was an adult and didn’t want it. That was her decision. I would be very upset if one of my non-Christian relatives decided to do a new age healing ceremony over me - especially if I had made it clear I didn’t want it.

New age religion is NOT the same as Catholicism/Christianity. Even if a relative attempted to perform some sort of New Age magic on me, I would view it as “good intent” that is just misinterpreting what God is trying to tell them. It’s all how you look at it. God is real and New Age is nonsense. That’s my opinion.

 

[808Catholic]

No one stated it was invalid.

Then, my bad.

 

[ComplineSanFran]

New age religion is NOT the same as Catholicism/Christianity. Even if a relative attempted to perform some sort of New Age magic on me, I would view it as “good intent” that is just misinterpreting what God is trying to tell them. It’s all how you look at it. God is real and New Age is nonsense. That’s my opinion.

But what you understand as real and what is nonsense has nothing to do with this woman’s written and verbal wishes. I am appalled at the behavior of the priest. He should not have overstepped his bounds. If the family member wished his presence, he could have easily prayed outside the dying woman’s room.

 

[808Catholic]

But what you understand as real and what is nonsense has nothing to do with this woman’s written and verbal wishes. I am appalled at the behavior of the priest. He should not have overstepped his bounds. If the family member wished his presence, he could have easily prayed outside the dying woman’s room.

I think your emotion is based on what is “good” for the woman’s feeling as opposed to what is good for her soul. A similar case could be made for stealing from your employer so you could donate to a street person. The intent may be good but the act is not. The dying woman may have stated “no religious ceremonies” but her father thought otherwise. Who’s being faithful to God and who is turning away from God?

 

[ComplineSanFran]

I think your emotion is based on what is “good” for the woman’s feeling as opposed to what is good for her soul. A similar case could be made for stealing from your employer so you could donate to a street person. The intent may be good but the act is not. The dying woman may have stated “no religious ceremonies” but her father thought otherwise. Who’s being faithful to God and who is turning away from God?

No. I disagree with you. The woman was very clear on her wishes. If she were lucid, she would not have welcomed the priest. The father was long past taking responsibility for his daughter’s soul. On a deathbed, it is between a person and God.

 

[AKDee]

People can and do change their minds. I read a story about a dying man, unrepentant, who refused last rites. The priest told him that if he changed his mind, to say “Jesus, Mercy” and shortly before he died he began whispering, “Jesus,Mercy” over and over.

 

[Bonnie]

The intent may be good but the act is not. The dying woman may have stated “no religious ceremonies” but her father thought otherwise. Who’s being faithful to God and who is turning away from God?

So the father’s act, as well as the priest’s, was not good. Glad we have that sorted out.

The sacraments are NOT to be given to people who don’t want them. You can ask your parish priest.

If a person is not conscious, and if the priest does not know if he is Catholic, he may be anointed conditionally. But to anoint a person who is conscious, and who has stated she does not want to be anointed, is just plain wrong.

 

[Bonnie]

People can and do change their minds. I read a story about a dying man, unrepentant, who refused last rites. The priest told him that if he changed his mind, to say “Jesus, Mercy” and shortly before he died he began whispering, “Jesus,Mercy” over and over.

But you’ll notice the priest did not force the last rites on the man. He respected the dying man.

 

[808Catholic]

So the father’s act, as well as the priest’s, was not good. Glad we have that sorted out.

The sacraments are NOT to be given to people who don’t want them. You can ask your parish priest.

If a person is not conscious, and if the priest does not know if he is Catholic, he may be anointed conditionally. But to anoint a person who is conscious, and who has stated she does not want to be anointed, is just plain wrong.

Let’s agree that we disagree and we’ll leave it at that. God Bless you.