Is it possible to have a calling to the priesthood but get married instead

[otjm]

A call to a vocation is not a “do it or be cursed” proposition. Both marriage and priesthood require significant sacrifices for a lifetime - day by day.

God opens doors; he does not push us through them; and if we do not go through that door, he opens another one.

In either vocation, it is not our choice alone; with priesthood, one needs to accepted into seminary, make it all the way through, and be accepted (called is the official term) by the bishop.

And one can want with all one’s might to be married; but it takes someone on the other side… and not all marriages are “made in heaven”. Most people are not as knowledgeable of themselves as might be desirable, let alone of their intended spouse. It makes for “interesting times”.

Ultimately whether is it through marriage or priesthood, we are all working on our own salvation; and each vocation engages us in working on the salvation of the other(s). But the bottom line is in either case, it is about our path to salvation first and foremost, and either path can get us there.

 

[Hodos]

It is possible to accommodate both vocations according to 1 Timothy 2.

 

[otjm]

It is interesting that both marriage and monastic life have a same/similar demand, and that is to learn to live in harmony with the other(s). And living in harmony is much more than simply avoiding confrontations.

 

[Phillip_Rolfes]

Very true. As Pope St. John Paul II pointed out, we’re all made for communio - living in a communion of persons.

I always thought it was fascinating that an aspiring hermit had to get permission from his abbot before he would be permitted to enter the hermitage. He had to prove that he was capable of living in community before being permitted to enter the hermitage.

 

[newconvertcatholic]

I’ve always understood Catholic teaching to be that all vocations are equal

All vocations are equal in dignity and I think Saint John Paul II is right when he says no vocation is to be wasted. Marriage is definitely not a second-class vocation. In that sense you’re right, there is no hierarchy.

But I always thought saints and doctors of the Church has always said that the vocation to religious life is the highest calling—in the sense that the religious life most directly mirrors the life of our Savior.

This is not to say the married couples are somehow not following Jesus but that the religious do so more literally. And who can possibly deny that the graces you receive from religious life are superior to what we receive in the secular world? I can think of Daily Mass, Offices, Obedience in all matters to a superior, community life, all offering many chances for sanctification that are not to be found in the world.

 

[Dolphin]

Marriage life you can argue mirrors the Trinity

 

[Phillip_Rolfes]

And this is exactly what Pope St. John Paul II told us in his Theology of the Body.

St. John Chrysostom was among the first to point out that marriage and celibacy compliment one another and even need one another. He mentions how the only way we can think of a call to celibacy as being a “better” or “higher” calling than marriage is if we first understand just how high of a calling marriage itself is. Something that is “good” only in relation to something that is “bad” is, after all, not really that good. So marriage must be pretty great if celibacy is believed to be better.

And I believe that von Balthasar (among many others in the Resourcement movement) spoke of how objectively celibacy for the sake of the kingdom (John Paul II is very careful to point out the importance of that clause) is better, but subjectively the vocation fully embraced and lived is better. So, for example, if I’m called to celibacy for the sake of the kingdom, but I’m neglecting the duties of my call, the my subjective living of celibacy is not higher. Similarly if I’m called to marriage and I’m fully living the duties of my call, then subjectively my calling is a higher calling than the celibate person not living his/her vocation.

 

[minhnguyen2013]

Yes, it is possible. God will bless you whatever path you choose. The difference is that your vocation is where he wants you to be and knows that you will rise to your fullest potential. If you choose something other than your vocation, life may be more difficult or less happy than your true vocation. I’m not saying that you won’t be happy if you choose another vocation, just that you won’t live to your fullest potential that God made you for. For example, there are people called to be priests but choose matrimony. However, these people found themselves always praying and attracted to the church instead of full attention to their family life. It is your free will, your choice to choose the path that God made you for. Always pray!