Is it possible to have (due to severe anxiety) a private baptism/confirmation/first communion (RCIA)?

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Hi there,

I’ve been in RCIA since last fall. I’m aware the three initiation rites take place at the Easter Vigil. However, I was wondering if it’s possible to do them privately, with just my sponsor and some friends?

Reason being that I have severe anxiety disorder. I get panic attacks so bad that I end up throwing up and contemplating suicide (I’ve even tried it a few times whilst having a panic attack). I know this will happen again if I have to do it all at the Easter Vigil, in front of everyone. I want to become fully Catholic really bad, but I know I can’t do it in front of a lot of people. I simply can’t, there is no way around it.

I know in my parish the priest usually does the confirmation (not the bishop), so would it be possible to have all three sacraments done privately for me?
 
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Ask your priest and mention your reasons. When you ask, call it “individual” rather than private. No sacraments are private.
 
KateKate22 said:
I’ve been in RCIA since last fall. I’m aware the three initiation rites take place at the Easter Vigil. However, I was wondering if it’s possible to do them privately, with just my sponsor and some friends?

Reason being that I have severe anxiety disorder. I get panic attacks so bad that I end up throwing up and contemplating suicide (I’ve even tried it a few times whilst having a panic attack). I know this will happen again if I have to do it all at the Easter Vigil, in front of everyone. I want to become fully Catholic really bad, but I know I can’t do it in front of a lot of people. I simply can’t, there is no way around it.

I know in my parish the priest usually does the confirmation (not the bishop), so would it be possible to have all three sacraments done privately for me?
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I don’t think there’s any canonical reason you couldn’t have all three of these sacraments privately. There’s certainly no doctrinal reason. If I were your priest (and I am not a priest), I would be glad to do this for you.

Initiatory sacraments have not always been communal. When I was received into the Church as a young person (1976), my baptism and confirmation (administered by the priest) were attended by just a few family members and close friends. I was allowed to make a private first communion at a lightly attended weekday Mass the next day, no fanfare.

Talk to your priest, and explain what you explained here.
 
There was a woman in our RCIA class who was baptized, confirmed, and received her First Holy Communion privately (well, her husband and children were present).

I’m not sure of the reason, but it didn’t seem to be a big deal.

Hopefully yours can be done privately! 😃 Best wishes to you!
 
I believe the answer is yes. My confirmation and reception into the Catholic church was done privately.

I know that baptisms can be done outsideof Mass.
 
Yes it is possible. This is something you can discuss with the RCIA director and/or a priest or deacon of the parish, and they can follow-up.

Peace.
 
When my wife came into the Church we didn’t use RCIA. Rather, we got permission from the Bishop to have my grandparents instruct her and then had a private Mass with a priest we knew for her First Communion and Confirmation.

So, yes it is possible to not receive those Sacrements at the Easter Vigil, but you’ll have to find a Bishop who will allow it.
 
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If your anxiety is that severe, I would suggest that you get a letter from your doctor before you go asking, for the simple reason that it brings outside “authority” to the matter, and it is not just some matter that you don’t like getting up in front of people.

Priests are people, and like others, they are prone to being very busy, and not always open to suggestions out of the ordinary. Should you find that the priest is not willing to work with you, the next step is to have your case made to the bishop - which may involve you personally making your case, along with whomever you may need to take along, plus the letter from the doctor.

Priests are usually not particularly enamored with someone going past their decision to the bishop; but in such a case, it might not only be good for you, but also for the priest. What you are asking should not be out of line for the priest to work with you concerning how you enter the Church.
 
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If your local diocese is unco-operative, contact the FSSP. . . . They do baptisms beautifully and in private.
 
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Canonically, the short answer is “yes”. Throughout history (even up to the modern age) may sacraments were performed in secret and individually, often times due to the harsh oppression of the church under specific regimes (the Czech republic under communism would be a sad case in point). Even today, I know of many private baptisms/crismations which take place in mohammedan-majority countries (i.e. Malaysia) since their laws do not permit mohammedans to convert from their religion (and even if it were made public, they would not be able to change the religion on their ID card) nor do they allow a mohammedan woman to marry a Catholic man, which means the sacrament of marriage has to be in secret as well. So, that’s the formal answer. As per the guidance here, seek out the specific priest either of your parish or of a specific order for the rite/sacrament in question and you can go from there.
 
Contacting the SSPX is requesting a group which has no canonical authority to administer the sacrament of Confirmation to do so. There is absolutely no reason to make such a suggestion.

And the FSSP are not available in a number of States, and may have only one parish in the States in which they have permission to be.

I seriously doubt the diocese will be uncooperative.
 
I know a family who arranged individual baptisms for their babies (rather than the large groups at their huge suburbs parish). If it’s okay for babies, why not adults?
 
Hi! A person with self-identified autism w/ mental illness here.

This is an important question to ask your priest about. Usually, priests are very accommodating. Please talk to your priest and follow his advice.

Anxiety is a horrible thing. I hope you will have peace today. I know I get anxious when my routine is out of place or when I’m faced with a social situation and it sucks!
 
When Tony Blair was received into the Catholic Church it was in a ceremony held on a Friday evening in the archbishop of Westminster’s private chapel. There were probably pretty obvious reasons why he did it this way, and you evidently have equally good reasons of your own.
 
I too have severe anxiety. I hope you get your situation resolved and are welcomed into the Church. I will pray for you. Speak to your priest.
 
I have terrible anxiety as well. I struggle just to function on a basic level. I was confirmed on an Easter Vigil (had a valid baptism prior to it) and probably looked like a giant piece of jelly or a string on a guitar after being strummed. I am sure the diocese will understand. I’m very happy for you becoming a Catholic. I will pray for you, please pray for me.
 
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My mother was received into the Church during a private Communion Service due to her advanced age. This included Baptism.

Please ask your priest and explain your situation to him. He
 
As others have said, definitely talk to your priest and/or RCIA coordinator. I coordinate RCIA in my parish and I know if someone in the class asked me this question, I would be happy to accommodate (as would be my pastor).
 
If baptism were all that was being considered, it would not be a particular problem.

However, adults who have never been baptized and are entering the Church receive the three sacraments of initiation: Baptism, then Confirmation, then Eucharist.

The priest only has permission to Confirm on Holy Saturday Night, as Confirmation is administered by the bishop, and the priest only by limited delegation.
 
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