Is it possible to have it all?

[AllSeasons]

Is it possible to have faith, family, and career, all at the same time? I realize that they can be competing priorities at times, so it’s never an easy task to balance them. But I suppose people, like Mitt Romney, have been able to do that, quite successfully. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

My mentor throughout high school (and the only reason I graduated) was a woman of great faith (very devout Catholic), who had a decades long teaching career and 6 children, all of whom were great kids and some of the nicest people that I ever met.

My future MIL has a career, a great family, and tons of faith.

My boss-same story.

It is possible, and if you try and put forth effort, it is even likely.

 

[SanctaMommy]

As for me, I never figured out a way I could be employed and be a mother without someone always getting shortchanged. And frankly, the kids are often easier to disappoint than the boss.

 

[EasterJoy]

There are times when the job has to give in favor of family and when the family has to give in favor of the job, but yes, what you are describing is possible…and let us hope so, because for many families, there just isn’t any choice but for both parents to have a job other than directly taking care of their children.

I don’t know that I’d characterize this one vocational lay-out as “having it all”, though. I don’t mean that just because it is a hard vocation to manage. I think it is a mistake to confuse a mere quantity of roles for quality of contribution or quality of experience or any other quality.

I mean that if you’re in a cloistered convent or you’re a stay-at-home parent with no paid employment or you have to juggle taking care of your family and taking care of other work that is yours to do, but you’re living according to your vocation so that God has all of you, then you “have it all.” We ought to concentrate on discerning God’s will for us and how to become what Matthew Kelly calls “the best version of ourselves,” and not concern ourselves with how many different roles we’ll get out of that or have to cope with within that.

 

[EasterJoy]

As for me, I never figured out a way I could be employed and be a mother without someone always getting shortchanged. And frankly, the kids are often easier to disappoint than the boss.

I know what you mean, and with some family-work combinations it is absolutely true, but let’s clarify: Being disappointed and being shortchanged are not the same thing!

A person’s jobs or vocation rarely have that much to do with the expectations others fashion into one’s unspoken “job description”. Being human beings, those we serve very often want much more or different things than it is good for them to have or just for them to ask for, and children are not an exception. You can shortchange your children or your boss, and they can be happy as clams about it, while you can fulfill your role in their regard fully and still have them find a way to be disappointed. Of course the two things have a good deal of overlap, but not as much as inappropriate guilt or inappropriate self-satisfaction sometimes tries to tell us!

I just want working mothers to be careful of this pitfall: Being the target of puppy eyes, dissatisfaction, or guilt trips large and small does not mean you have failed somebody! Figure that out takes a more profound and careful analysis.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Is it possible to have faith, family, and career, all at the same time? I realize that they can be competing priorities at times, so it’s never an easy task to balance them. But I suppose people, like Mitt Romney, have been able to do that, quite successfully. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you.

People in the economic league of the Mitt Romneys are able to afford all kinds of support systems that enable them to live lives far more spectacular than the rest of us can. They can and do employ armies of nannies, nurses, therapists, cooks, maids, drivers, personal assistants, and tutors. In my opinion, it’s futile to compare what we can do with our lives and families with what the uberwealthy can.

They’re not better than we are. Their children may or may not be any more happy, fulfilled, or balanced than ours. Their lives aren’t easier or more difficult than ours. They’re just so very different that it’s like comparing apples and oranges.

Luna

 

[chevalier]

It probably is possible but you probably become a saint in the process of achieving it all at the same time.

 

[Garyjohn2]

It probably is possible but you probably become a saint in the process of achieving it all at the same time.

This is probably true.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you besides!

 

[ChrisCath]

Depends on how you define “all”.

If “all” means both worldly bling and heavenly grace, then that’s highly unlikely.

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 16:26[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Luke 16:13[/BIBLEDRB]

If “all” means union with Christ, the answer is yes.

What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve “all”?

 

[JRKH]

Is it possible to have faith, family, and career, all at the same time? I realize that they can be competing priorities at times, so it’s never an easy task to balance them. But I suppose people, like Mitt Romney, have been able to do that, quite successfully. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you.

Of course it’s possible to “have it all”. However, the problem you have in you post is the idea of “balance”. It is not about balance, it is about priority.
God (faith) MUST come first or you have nothing at all no matter what else you might temporarily possess.
Other matters are prioritized behind this depending on what one’s vocational calling is.
As for career. the first career of the Christian is to become a saint…

It really comes down to this. If you want it “all”, then “all”, has to be defined. Put God first and He will let you know what “all” really is…

Peace
James

 

[jannes]

Depends on how you define “all”.

If “all” means both worldly bling and heavenly grace, then that’s highly unlikely.

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 16:26[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Luke 16:13[/BIBLEDRB]

If “all” means union with Christ, the answer is yes.

What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve “all”?

sO AT WHAT POINT DOES HAVING A LEGAL PRODUCTIVE CAREER AS WELL AS A FAMILY BECOME SERVING MAMON/i UNDERSTOOD MAMON WAS EVIL SO WHEN IS A CAREER CONSIDERED EVIL

 

[Allegra]

I think it’s possible. There are many careers out there that are flexible and family friendly. However, I think it’s very easy to let one’s job get in the way of your relationship with God and with family. Alot of people are programed to put work first. (Even if it’s just a job and not even a career that they care about.) Also, families and God can be easier to ignore than a demanding boss, at least temporarily.

 

[EasterJoy]

It probably is possible but you probably become a saint in the process of achieving it all at the same time.

Becoming a saint is the whole goal of this vale of tears, isn’t it?

 

[SanctaMommy]

I think it’s possible. There are many careers out there that are flexible and family friendly. However, I think it’s very easy to let one’s job get in the way of your relationship with God and with family. Alot of people are programed to put work first. (Even if it’s just a job and not even a career that they care about.) Also, families and God can be easier to ignore than a demanding boss, at least temporarily.

Exactly. Your kids and Jesus can’t fire you. Your boss can. Guess who usually gets the shaft?

Maybe women can “have it all,” - but not all at the same time.

 

[Maryann_C]

By all do you mean all at the same time ( which is what I assume you mean) and my question is why? we do what we are capable of by God’s gifts not what other people are gifted with or called to do. I learn’t this about 8 years ago , it was areal aha moment for me…kind of as a result of one of those Meyers Brigs type things but fundamentally what I learn’t was that some people need alot of people around them to give them energy where as other types of people are exausted by all those people and need solitude to re- energise ( that would be me). This then would explain the different charisims of the different vocations that people feel called/drawn to.

As for mothers I think often one fails to realise that at that point your ‘boss’ for want of a better word is God and your Children, which is why mothers often feel ( even super mums) torn when they try to ‘serve 2 masters’. When I realised that Motherhood was a very important career choice (a sacrificial one) I was sooo mad that I had been misled by all the women’s lib type hype from the 60s and 70s. I look forward to when my children do not need me full time any more ( when they are at college) and I can look for a 4th career (after Army officer, then wife and mother).

At the end of the day so long as everything is ordered right God first then family then career ( the second and third may seem to interchange but it is only a perception if you are doing things for the good of the family) then all will be well and you will have it all!

 

[Allegra]

Exactly. Your kids and Jesus can’t fire you. Your boss can. Guess who usually gets the shaft?

Maybe women can “have it all,” - but not all at the same time.

I think it depends alot on the persons. Some people live for their job and happen to have a family. This is obviously no good. If you’re a woman, your kids are going to be raised by daycare and if you’re a man, your wife is going to leave you and take the kids with her. I think a person who works to live is generally better off than those who live to work.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Is it possible to have faith, family, and career, all at the same time? I realize that they can be competing priorities at times, so it’s never an easy task to balance them. But I suppose people, like Mitt Romney, have been able to do that, quite successfully. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you.

Another thought - thank God we’re privileged enough to even ask this question. The vast majority of the world’s families don’t have the choice of balancing jobs, family and faith. Everybody works - including the kiddos - or nobody eats.

Luna

 

[cmscms]

Nobody can have their cake and eat it to. Life is full of sacrifices. Sure their are several books out there that claim you can have it all. It is a marketing strategy to sell their product. And there is a lot of attention given to super achievers to motive other employees but rarely have I seen it work in practice. Example, in the 90’s the big saying was ‘think outside the box’. Well…no one liked my new ideas because it meant effort to adapt on their part.

There was a big wig accountant at work whith 2 kids and she taught aerobics at least 4-5 times a week. Everyone would put her on a pedastool and say ‘How does she do it?’ In my mind I though she ignores her kids. I kept my comments to myself. Needless to say she once told me she can go for three weeks at a time without seing her kids because they are in bed by the time she comes home.

Is it wrong for a mom to pursue a career? NO Is it wrong for a mom to stay at home with her kids? NO. But we all have 24 hours a day and we choose how much time we devote to what and the other activity always tends to want all our time.

So, as other’s mentioned, find God’s way and you will have it all

CM

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

It probably is possible but you probably become a saint in the process of achieving it all at the same time.

Not necessarily… It depends on whether you are seeking and trying to fulfill God’s will, which may or may not include career/family(as in getting married)…

Also, as a Mormon, Mitt Romney does not have the Truth, so I wouldn’t say he has it all… I am not saying he is not a man of faith, but he definitely doesn’t have it all.

 

[JRKH]

sO AT WHAT POINT DOES HAVING A LEGAL PRODUCTIVE CAREER AS WELL AS A FAMILY BECOME SERVING MAMON/i UNDERSTOOD MAMON WAS EVIL SO WHEN IS A CAREER CONSIDERED EVIL

Mammon does not mean “evil”. It means “treasure” or possessions. There does not seem to be a direct translation from the Greek…so here is a Wiki Article (I know…) that might help.

Peace
James