Is it really stupid to decide not to join a particular religious order simply because I don't like their habit?

[thequietsinger]

Love the community, digging the charism. The habit… not so much. But then I think to myself…“come on Clarkest, that is so shallow. Stop it.”.

solisisters.ca/gallery.html?gallery=16&start=30

It’s really just the veil I have a problem with. This is my ideal habit. Love it!
nunocist.org/

But, again, super shallow. That black veil? Beautiful. And no belt.

Not necessarily. It is important that you decide on an order based on your interests; however, a Priest told me that one thing to look at when researching orders is whether or not they wear a habit. If they wear a habit, then that is a really good sign that the order is good. Another sign is whether or not they have accepted any new Postulants recently. Just something to think about

 

[clarkest]

It seems you are more concerned about the “uniform” than of the service to God and community that your particular order is engaged in. During WW2 when many sisters were forced underground and did not dress in a full habit, were they any less close to our Lord? Please, please, please find a good spiritual advisor who will be able to help you discern what your vocation truly is.

Could you explain why the veil is so important to you?

I understand what you’re saying, and other people who have commented about religious life not being a fashion show. I know you’re just trying to be helpful but please don’t judge me or my heart, you don’t know me. I’m actually a t shirt, jeans and hair in a bun everyday type of girl. I don’t care about fashion at all. I’m just fairly new to Catholicism so the idea of wearing a habit is very exciting. I already do have a good spiritual director and we’ve been working together for a long time. Yes it’s true that religious life may not be my vocation, and whatever God’s will is I’m open to even if it’s an order that doesn’t wear a habit, it’s just that God has some work to do if that’s what he wants. I’ll try to follow but I really dig habits. Not for looks. Honestly they are frumpy. But there is a reason that women religious all wore habits. I’m not saying it’s wrong to not wear a habit. The Church says it is okay for religious to not wear habits and I am not more Catholic than the Church. I just appreciate the symbolism and perhaps am more zealous about it because I’m a convert and so have more appreciation for the traditional aspects of the Church than cradle Catholics show. Which is okay, we’re all different and that’s fine.

Symbolism aside, it’s partly functional. If we’re being honest we’ll recognize that men are visual and wearing a habit pretty much covers everything better than the modest clothes available at regular stores. I try not to judge but when I see young adults and teens wearing tight short shorts to Mass I just feel so bad for the guys around. How are they supposed to pay attention? Maybe not all guys have a problem with this but come on. It’s absurd that some people think it’s okay to dress like that at Mass. Not just for the guys but if you were going to meet Jesus in the flesh would you dress like that? Probably not. So why is it okay when approaching the Eucharistic table?

Also it is liberating to not have to worry about what I’m going to wear or how I’ll do my hair. Wearing a habits takes away that worldy concern, and even less fashionable ladies like myself do think about these things. It’s ingrained in our thinking… women must look a certain way!

Why do I like veils specifically? Sisters who don’t wear habits sometimes do have some sort of uniform. A friend of mine who is an active sister who doesn’t wear a habit is always wearing a mid calf denim skirt, a white t shirt with her order’s logo on it and really short hair. But I like wearing a veil to Mass even now (though I don’t most of the time because I’m shy and people do look and ask questions when I do). If I join some order that has a pant suit/skirt and t shirt uniform, I may not be allowed to wear a veil during Mass because it’s not part of the uniform. I’ve never actually asked one of these orders about it but when I go to Mass with this sister friend of mine she never wears one.

The Bible says a woman’s hair is her glory. It’s a form of humility for a woman to cover her glory when she is the presence of God to allow His to be the only glory for us to see. Covering or uncovering my hair doesn’t take away from or add to His glory, but if I can be just a little more selfless and let people and myself focus on Him then that is great. Everything should point to Him, not to me.

Also the habit is kind of like a nun’s wedding gown. A nun is a bride of Christ, right? The veil is a sign of consecration.

And, if I am called to a cloister, to be able to veil my face after communion (if some cloistered communities even still do that…) and to be able to wear a grate/grille veil?!

I just love habits. What they’re for, what they symbolize…everything. They’re wonderful.

 

[elizabeth_anne_1]

Not trying to judge you, but maybe just a little bit of a nudge to look at this more deeply than just the “romantic” and external aspects. I spent some time in religious life and it is easy to be attracted to the externals and miss the actual point of the vocation, which is self-sacrifice and obedience to what God desires. I would not have wanted to join a community without a habit or a veil either because of the aspect of public witness and also the symbolism you mentioned. So, I do understand a bit where you are coming from.

What was it you don’t like about the first sisters’ veils? They have veils…I guess the second habit just is really “romantic” in appearance. Is that the difference for you?

Just trying to understand…

Prayers for you, dear one, and for God’s will for your vocation!

Also, just look at the title of your thread…Do you really think it would be the right thing to decide not to join a particular community that has a habit just because you don’t like the habit? Does that sound like it maybe a little too caught up in appearance? Just some food for thought/prayer.

I hope I am not coming across at harsh. I just want you to look deeply because this is not a superficial vocation. Blessings!

 

[clarkest]

What was it you don’t like about the first sisters’ veils? They have veils…I guess the second habit just is really “romantic” in appearance. Is that ]the difference for you?

I dont like how it is gathered at the nape of the neck so that it doesnt fall beside the sister’s cheeks. And the second habit is more…billowy? You see that as romantic, I see it as better pockets.

 

[InThePew]

You’ve put forward a very good argument for your views, Clarkest, although I would also caution against romanticising (or for that matter presuming the absence of pockets!).

Pondering the original question, I would say that, just as the decision of whether or not to join any given order shouldn’t be based solely by the presence or absence of habits, so too the likeability (or lack thereof) of an order’s habits shouldn’t play a decisive role in your decision making. I might even go so far as to say that it shouldn’t even play a significant role but, regardless, it should simply be one factor to be weighed along with a number of others.Ultimately, I guess it really comes down to how your feel in a deep down way) about a particular order which can only come from getting to know them on a personal level.

 

[kozlosap]

Clatkest, I would never question your faith, I’m sorry if my post came accross as such. I’m just coming from a different generation! I remember going to mass in the 50’s and 60’s when we HAD to wear head coverings, and in general we wore hats, no one wore a veil until Jackie Kennedy started that fad. Sometimes, we even used a piece of Kleenex to cover if we didn’t have a hat available! Please wear a veil when you attend mass if you feel called to do so. At our huge Jesuit parish there are only a handful of women who cover, but I’ve never seen anyone confront them. People, in general, are kind! What you need to remember (as a new Catholic), is that you cannot judge another persons faith or piety by externals. I wish happiness in your chosen vocation, whether it be in the secular world or as a consecrated religious.

 

[trevorhall]

Yes.

 

[LilyM]

Orders have been known to change their habit from time to time - look at Mother Angelica on EWTN. So don’t set your heart on a particular habit or type of habit.