Is it really that easy?

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I am not sure that you have to know the Catholic theology of mortal vs venial sin to know you have done something really bad and you did it anyway.

Back to adultery. You do not have to be Catholic in a Western society to know that fooling around on your spouse is super-bad. You know it is, and you do it anyway.

But maybe you are raised someplace where having more than one wife is a given, it’s expected, well, then, you wouldn’t know that having a second “wife” would be wrong and a betrayal of the first wife.

So God will take these things into account. He knows what is in our hearts.

Try not to sin, confess when you mess up, and don’t worry about the details. If you confess the sin, afterll, it is forgiven.
 
So I am correct if I tell the Priest the whole process? I know I have to be brief but would it be ok or do I have to mention a specific act that was commited in a specific point in time?
It is too much focus on acts rather than seeing the fuller picture. I will never a confess acts as if sins in the acts. Sin of adultery is much more than just what happened in bed but still the Priests only wanna hear the sin as a specific act.
The Priests just want an extremely simplified way of looking at sin. I always have difficulties with simplified ways of looking at things. Especially when that wouldnt tell the truth.
Just one thing like adultery is just so much more than just one act. It consists on many acts.
 
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jesusmademe said:
The Priests just want an extremely simplified way of looking at sin. I always have difficulties with simplified ways of looking at things. Especially when that wouldnt tell the truth.
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It’s not precisely as you describe.

One reason we ought to be brief in Confession is that when we are overly descriptive, blaming others, rationalizating, and other “blinders” can come into play.

Rather than describe the entire lead-up to a sin, we sheer away everything but the result. But remember that the lead-up to a mortal sin often involves increasingly serious venial sins, and those can certainly be confessed.

The other aspect is that the only sins we must confess are mortal sins, because it is the mortal sins which cause the complete break-down of our relationship with God. We do not have to say that we are sorry for the lead-up, because we are apologizing for the result.

And the lead-up can be stopped at any point: we do not have to commit a mortal sin in order to re-orient our wills with God’s.
 
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jesusmademe said:
You understand exactly what I am talking about. Mortal sin is a process. I do not really see it as just a specific act but more like process. I would have to confess the whole process since the mortal sin was not just in a particular act that was commited for eg 5 minutes. The whole process must be confessed.
What does the Church say about this?
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Mortal sin is a specific act deliberately done in knowledge that the act was grave matter. It is not a process.
 
It would likely be a very good thing to admit in Confession. Only someone who is maturing in their Faith would be able to identify this sin in themselves. Makes me want to give you a hug!!

The Litany of Humility would also be advised.
 
Nope.

When I go to the doctor and ask her to look at a mole, I do not have to tell HER if it is cancer or just a mole. That is her job.
 
Sin may involve a process, but you don’t have to recite the whole process in confession. It’s pretty clear that sins such as murder, assault, adultery, fornication, viewing porn, are grave sins. One might go into the confessional and say “I killed a man, I commited fornication twice a week, watched porn every night, beat up a guy after an argument.” Each one of those may have a story behind it. Don’t tell the story. Too much overthinking. That applies whether the sin is mortal or venial. “I spread gossip about a neighbor” doesn’t require a lead up, just the statement of the sin.
 
If you confess adultery, certainly the priest knows there was a lead up to doing it. To be frank, you may have been in mortal sin prior to actually committing adultery. We don’t say there was no sin before that. A person may find himself lusting after a woman, and if he kept down that road would end up in adultery, but he may catch himself before that point and repent. He should still go to confession for the lusting, the breaking of trust with his wife, etc… even if he never slept with the other woman.

Another man may be planning murder, but he may realize how evil that is before the act and repent. He should still go to confession and confess the malice he felt towards the other person and his evil thoughts.

A sin like masturbation may be different, because it may not be premeditated or have a “long game.” The person might know he’s tempted but tell himself he won’t, but then breaks and in all of a few minutes is done with the act. In this case, there’s probably not much that was mortal to repent prior to committing the act. On the other hand, if he entertained lustful thoughts all day intentionally leading up to the act, that’s something to confess, too. But if you do get to the point of actually doing something very grave, it can be easily understood that there was a lead up. A priest may ask for clarification to help counsel the penitent and better understand the issue before giving absolution, depending upon the confession.

The Church doesn’t teach that if you caught yourself seconds before committing adultery you’ve only committed venial sins. It’s much more nuanced than that.
 
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Another point is this: if the priest needs to know more to absolve your sins, or if he suspects you may have left something out, he will ask you.

So if I said I committed adultery once, he might want to know in what context I meant that: a one-night stand? Had I been drinking? (Deliberate drunkenness is a sin, drinking too much by mistake might reduce culpability) was there a long lead-up in which I might have committed other sins, etc.

If he needs to know, it is his responsibility to ask, so we never have to question the efficacy of the absolution unless we deliberately leave out a mortal sin. (a whole nother can of worms!)
 
jesusmademe said:
It is too much focus on acts rather than seeing the fuller picture. I will never a confess acts as if sins in the acts.
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Maybe it would be good if you gave us an imaginary scenario of how you think the confession would be vs what you would want it to be, then we could have a clearer understanding of what you feel you would be leaving out?
 
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Think about it this way - did the Prodigal Son have to give his father an excruciatibgly detailed blow-by-blow account and analysis of every single detail and circumstance leading up to his decision to run away from his father in order to be forgiven? Of course not. All the father cared about was that the son knew he had done wrong and was sorry for it.

Confession isn’t counselling or rehab - although these may have a place in preventing relapse into sin. Nor is your confessor likely to be sufficiently trained in psychology to find it helpful to have much detail around the why’s and wherefores of your sinning. As has already been pointed out, if he needs more detail he will ask. And in the end it is Christ who forgives, and He knows all the detail already.
 
jesusmademe said:
Just one thing like adultery is just so much more than just one act.
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Father forgive me for I have sinned. It has been 7 months since my last confession & in that time I’ve committed adultery with three men.

Every thing that word adultery consists of in your mind is taken into account & forgiven. Even though 3 men is mentioned it would include every physical act, every mental act, all the lies involved, etc…

The priest doesn’t need the minute details. This is a conversation between you & God who both know all the details, what you are sorry for & what you are not. The priest is the means through which the conversation takes place.

Like a phone. You speak into the mouthpiece, but it is God that hears you. You hear words coming from the ear piece, but it is God speaking to you.
 
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