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piscotikus
Guest
I went to my parents this weekend and left my 7 month old with my mom as we went to mass. Did I cause my child to miss her Sunday obligation?
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puzzleannie
Guest
you 7 month old does not have a Sunday Mass obligation. Children over the age of reason do, but of course if they are not able to attend because of circumstances, they also have no obligation.
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piscotikus
Guest
But do I have an obligation for them?
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puzzleannie
Guest
don’t understand the question.
you have an obligation to baptize your children as soon as possible after birth, to raise them as Catholics, to hand on the doctrines, practices and devotions, to bring the to the sacraments at the appropriate age, to supervise their religious education, and to bring the to Mass with you. This is not required when they are little, but certainly encouraged, since that is how they learn. We all know their are certain times, and certain children who just will not behave in church, so it is perfectly fine to leave them home with a sitter, or for the parents to go to Mass in shifts during those times, or in case of illness for instance.
The child has no obligation to attend Mass until he reaches catechetical age–the age for formal religious instruction and preparation for the sacraments to begin, generally the age of reason. His informal religious formation of course begins at birth, in the home and family. A parent who is not bringing a school age child to Mass on Sundays and Holy days of obligation is seriously reneging on their responsibilities.
you have an obligation to baptize your children as soon as possible after birth, to raise them as Catholics, to hand on the doctrines, practices and devotions, to bring the to the sacraments at the appropriate age, to supervise their religious education, and to bring the to Mass with you. This is not required when they are little, but certainly encouraged, since that is how they learn. We all know their are certain times, and certain children who just will not behave in church, so it is perfectly fine to leave them home with a sitter, or for the parents to go to Mass in shifts during those times, or in case of illness for instance.
The child has no obligation to attend Mass until he reaches catechetical age–the age for formal religious instruction and preparation for the sacraments to begin, generally the age of reason. His informal religious formation of course begins at birth, in the home and family. A parent who is not bringing a school age child to Mass on Sundays and Holy days of obligation is seriously reneging on their responsibilities.
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
You have an obligation to teach them correct behavior. So as long as your child is not adversely effected by your action, there is no problem. Even though a 6 year old does not yet have a personal obligation they are forming behavior habits for Sunday Mass.
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drafdog
Guest
Your obligation for your children who have not attained the age of reason is to attend Mass. This is parallel to the obligation under the Torah for a man to perform the duties of the law on behalf of the whole family. The obligation is not incumbent upon the women but upon the men (after bar Mitzvah).
As a parent who wants to raise her children in the faith, you should be taking your children to Mass regardless of age. This is how my wife and I did it. The object is to train the child to behave well in public in general and in church in particular. I never agreed with the concept of cry rooms; they allowed children to misbahave with impunity. A fussy infant can be taken to the back of the church. Walking back and forth with the child on your shoulder should settle the child and frequently the child will then sleep through the rest of Mass. Train them early. (There is something on this in Proverbs or Sirach if I am not mistaken.) And remember that if it isn’t going to be cute at 5 or 6, it isn’t cute at 2.
Matthew
As a parent who wants to raise her children in the faith, you should be taking your children to Mass regardless of age. This is how my wife and I did it. The object is to train the child to behave well in public in general and in church in particular. I never agreed with the concept of cry rooms; they allowed children to misbahave with impunity. A fussy infant can be taken to the back of the church. Walking back and forth with the child on your shoulder should settle the child and frequently the child will then sleep through the rest of Mass. Train them early. (There is something on this in Proverbs or Sirach if I am not mistaken.) And remember that if it isn’t going to be cute at 5 or 6, it isn’t cute at 2.
Matthew
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JimR-OCDS
Guest
drafdog
My wife and myself went to separate Masses when our children were babies, so that we could get the full benefit of the Mass. Later, when they were able to sit through a Mass without being a distraction to others, we took them.
Jim
Not true. If taking a baby to church prevents a parent from participation in the Mass, or if the child is at an age where he/she misbehavior will be a distraction to others, it’s better to attend Mass without the child.
My wife and myself went to separate Masses when our children were babies, so that we could get the full benefit of the Mass. Later, when they were able to sit through a Mass without being a distraction to others, we took them.
Jim
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az_4_faith
Guest
I attend Mass with several families who have a large number of children.
I have four.
We all have taken our children to Mass each and every Sunday since they were born. (Mine are grown, but others still have little ones.)
Sometimes it didn’t go smoothly. But that’s where my husband met one of his best friends - against the back wall of the Church where the two dads consoled fussy little boys. After spending more than one Sunday together in the back of the Church, the two dads quickly found out they had more in common than children and we’ve been friends ever since.
We all took our turns from time to time holding up that back wall. And we always took the kids outside if they were too loud. We tried to keep our distractions to a minimum, paying close attention as to not offend our fellow parishioners.
Don’t leave the kids at home. They need to learn how to kneel, sit quietly and pray as a family at Mass at a young age. Parenting takes a great amount of effort, including Mass time. But the kids will catch on over time, even when they’re little. Just don’t be afraid to get up from the pew and take them out when they’re fussy or loud. You won’t offend anyone, and if you do, too bad.
I’d much rather see a young couple walking down the aisle, taking a little one to the back when they misbehave than have them try and teach an older child who’s hardly even been to Mass to sit still (or even ignore their bad behavior, or try to correct them repeatedly in the pew instead of taking them to the back).
You can do it! It’s a part of Catholic parenting.
I have four.
We all have taken our children to Mass each and every Sunday since they were born. (Mine are grown, but others still have little ones.)
Sometimes it didn’t go smoothly. But that’s where my husband met one of his best friends - against the back wall of the Church where the two dads consoled fussy little boys. After spending more than one Sunday together in the back of the Church, the two dads quickly found out they had more in common than children and we’ve been friends ever since.
We all took our turns from time to time holding up that back wall. And we always took the kids outside if they were too loud. We tried to keep our distractions to a minimum, paying close attention as to not offend our fellow parishioners.
Don’t leave the kids at home. They need to learn how to kneel, sit quietly and pray as a family at Mass at a young age. Parenting takes a great amount of effort, including Mass time. But the kids will catch on over time, even when they’re little. Just don’t be afraid to get up from the pew and take them out when they’re fussy or loud. You won’t offend anyone, and if you do, too bad.
I’d much rather see a young couple walking down the aisle, taking a little one to the back when they misbehave than have them try and teach an older child who’s hardly even been to Mass to sit still (or even ignore their bad behavior, or try to correct them repeatedly in the pew instead of taking them to the back).
You can do it! It’s a part of Catholic parenting.
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stbruno
Guest
I heartily agree with the last poster…Our sons are now grown and two are attending college, And because of the strong emphasis we have placed on taking them always to mass, they have it ingrained in them as well, and they still go.
In fact, one will call me up to discuss what the homilist had to say that Sunday. Frequently, it will spark a raw nerve in one of them, or they will agree wholeheartedly and want to share it with us. In fact, one son even takes classmates with him to church, even ones of a different faith! God bless children.
A wise man told me recently…Values are caught not taught…so whatever actions you do with your children, those are the ones that stick…not the ones you just tell them…
Like, please go to mass.
No…take them with you to mass. God bless all parents who bring their children to church always!
In fact, one will call me up to discuss what the homilist had to say that Sunday. Frequently, it will spark a raw nerve in one of them, or they will agree wholeheartedly and want to share it with us. In fact, one son even takes classmates with him to church, even ones of a different faith! God bless children.
A wise man told me recently…Values are caught not taught…so whatever actions you do with your children, those are the ones that stick…not the ones you just tell them…
Like, please go to mass.
No…take them with you to mass. God bless all parents who bring their children to church always!
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chrysostom15
Guest
According to the Council of Trent, it is best for children to attend Holy Mass and to recieve Holy Communion – however, they are not required to untill they reach the age of reason.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
My daughter is 2 and has been attending with me since she was born (including when I wasn’t Catholic but went to Mass because my parents required Mass attendence from me)
I am constantly amazed at her wonderful behavior. I once had another mom ask me how I got her to be so well behaved. Was it bribes? Food? Nope, she’s been coming with me since she was born. She knows how to act. And she knows that if I have to take her to the back, Mommy is not happy. She doesn’t get in trouble, but she does get a stern reminder of the proper way to act in front of Jesus.
I think it will be far easier, later on, since she has been attending with me from the start.
I am constantly amazed at her wonderful behavior. I once had another mom ask me how I got her to be so well behaved. Was it bribes? Food? Nope, she’s been coming with me since she was born. She knows how to act. And she knows that if I have to take her to the back, Mommy is not happy. She doesn’t get in trouble, but she does get a stern reminder of the proper way to act in front of Jesus.
I think it will be far easier, later on, since she has been attending with me from the start.
If I might summarize…
- A child under the age of reason is not obligated to attend Mass.
- A parent is not *obligated *to take the child to Mass until the child reaches the age of reason.
- A parent is obligated to instruct a child in the ways of the Faith, including ‘how’ to attend Mass.
- In order that the child may properly meet his obligation to attend Mass once the age of reason has been reached, it would be prudent for the parent to have been regularly attending Mass with the child so that the child:
- understands proper behavior,
- observes the importance the parents place on attending Mass, and
- develops good ‘spiritual habits’.
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