It is a very tragic thing when someone is a victim of sexual abuse. By its very nature, sexual abuse means that the victim does not have the capacity (because of age, emotional or physical vulnerability, etc.) to consent to the offense against him.
I think, and hope consideration is given to the reality. Children are not culpable for what they do not know, are taught wrongly, and cannot control.
That is a fear that must be faced by sheding light in the darkness. The fear is the irrational element, not the light of exposure. (Everything in the dark will be exposed, and everything done in secret will be known.) Old enough is relative- can the victim support themself or are they still reliant on the family for support? Doing something about it is relative- can they leave, can they say no and prevent it from happening?
I would say a definite and unquestionable “NO” …and don’t let the devil tell you otherwise, or lead you into temptation to re-victimize yourself. You are not responsible for the actions of others who psychologically twisted and oppressed you. You did not choose this sin, and until you have freed yourself from this oppression and bondage, and gain your freedom in Jesus Christ, you are not complicit with the sinful predation of others. The true nature of the devil truly manifests itself in such twisted and distorted demonic oppression. Allow the Word of God, which can be entirely trusted, to minister to you through the power and freedom of the Holy Spirit.
Exactly.
Your persistent and pervasive guilt feeling is simply a residual secondary emotion that is unfounded in the reality that you were the one being abused. You did nothing to invite such abuse. It was wrong. You are exonerated of any responsibility for the abuse perpetrated upon you, regardless of your age and physical ability to resist, because of the psychological oppression of the abuse. It was not consensual in any aspect. You need to drum this into your consciousness each time you get those guilt feelings. A good therapist with expertise in this area may be helpful to heal this guilt.
I’d say your guilt is misplaced, but normal. Has the abuser repented, shown remorse, not abusing others…? That might be playing into what you are feeling about yourself.
If you’re not convinced after this from BlestOne, why not go to
thank you.
I think you misunderstood the question. The poster was asking if being a victim of molestation is a sin.
i have… the problem is, this is a family member i have,recently after a good few years, started having anything to do with again, and have told him that i have forgiven him. and i think i have for the most part, time heals most wounds. first step is saying it, then you work from there. i still feel resentment, but its fading. im just left with the aftermath of it all. mainly just the guilt.
Go to a priest anyway; he’ll listen. Talk to some of your Catholic friends to find a good confessor, then schedule an appointment with him. The fact that you haven’t begun RCIA yet is no reason for him to refuse to discuss the issue with you. You should also consider counseling; priests are generalists, and their specialty lies in the moral arena, while there are counselors who specialize in helping molestation victims. The reason I bring this up is the fact that you still feel guilty about what he did to you.
thank you. this does help. i did see a therapist for a good few years, really only to get the information out of me, my parents trying to get it out in the open and help me. but we all know, you cant help someone who doesnt want help. i was still a teenager at this time. im looking into getting set up with another to deal with this, among other things… insurance doesnt include mental health so im tryign to go through the state.
either way, i have been wanting to go to a priest about this and other issues, but didnt know if i was allowed to or not. thank you for clearing that up, i will make it a priority.no, he isnt in jail. even in my most hateful phase of my life i couldnt bring myself to see to that he was locked up. to this day, i dont imagine i ever could. he has a child of his own now. it’s a boy, i dont know if it matters or not when it comes to gender, for this kind of mentality. i always said if he were to ever have kids i would do something about it. well low and behold, the child is over 2 years old now and i havent even opened my mouth. i dont know if i should do something or not. at times i want to, but i dont know what i could do to make a difference, without tearing my family/families apart over it. then again, that doesnt really matter, does it? all that matters is that this child is getting the life and treatment every child deserves. it does bother me that maybe he would go on to abuse other children. 9 years have passed. i know i should have done something to press the charges. what can i do without making a huge scene about it? i talked to him a while ago, while in an (i hate to say it) intoxicated state, i was nice about it though. i was a lot more compassionate than i would have been stone cold sober. he said he would just kill anyone who harmed his son, etc. i still question it. his son doesnt act like normal kids his age. this is my nephew. i dont know what i can do. am i aloud to make an anonymous call to CPS to investigate or something?
Yes, you can; more importantly, a counselor will know exactly what to do and how to report the whole thing; that’s part of their training.thank you. this does help. i did see a therapist for a good few years, really only to get the information out of me, my parents trying to get it out in the open and help me. but we all know, you cant help someone who doesnt want help. i was still a teenager at this time. im looking into getting set up with another to deal with this, among other things… insurance doesnt include mental health so im tryign to go through the state.
no, he isnt in jail. even in my most hateful phase of my life i couldnt bring myself to see to that he was locked up. to this day, i dont imagine i ever could. he has a child of his own now. it’s a boy, i dont know if it matters or not when it comes to gender, for this kind of mentality. i always said if he were to ever have kids i would do something about it. well low and behold, the child is over 2 years old now and i havent even opened my mouth. i dont know if i should do something or not. at times i want to, but i dont know what i could do to make a difference, without tearing my family/families apart over it. then again, that doesnt really matter, does it? all that matters is that this child is getting the life and treatment every child deserves. it does bother me that maybe he would go on to abuse other children. 9 years have passed. i know i should have done something to press the charges. what can i do without making a huge scene about it? i talked to him a while ago, while in an (i hate to say it) intoxicated state, i was nice about it though. i was a lot more compassionate than i would have been stone cold sober. he said he would just kill anyone who harmed his son, etc. i still question it. his son doesnt act like normal kids his age. this is my nephew. i dont know what i can do. am i aloud to make an anonymous call to CPS to investigate or something?
Abuse violates not only the body, but warps the mind and spirit. You were not responsible and may not have in fact been capable of ending the abuse sooner–even if you had the instinct that something was very wrong. The strongest instinct any of us possess is survival–and even self-sacrifice is a testament to the power of the will to live when we protect our children. In your case I would bet you were doing all you could to survive. You did it. You survived. You’re free. You can now chose to be an honorable adult–unlike the adults around you when you were a child.