Is it sinful at any point?

[sacredcello]

Yes, you can; more importantly, a counselor will know exactly what to do and how to report the whole thing; that’s part of their training.

If you want to know about prosecuting him, just walk into a prosecutor’s office. I don’t know what the criminal statute of limitations is in Ohio for child molestation, but it might still be possible to bring charges against him.

Believe me, a statement like “I was molested by this man, and I’m concerned because he has a child now” gets the attention of child protective services. And you will be given referrals to people who can help you work out your feelings of anger, loss, insecurity, self-loathing, etc. (off-topic, but it bears repeating: it wasn’t your fault – not in society’s eyes, not in the Church’s eyes, and not in God’s eyes).

You have taken the first steps toward forgiving this man, and that’s good (for you, in particular). But Christian forgiveness does NOT require you to let him molest someone else, and Christian forgiveness does NOT mean you can’t participate in his criminal prosecution. Prevention of future molestation is absolutely moral. There is nothing wrong with your going to the authorities about him.

And if it tears a family apart, that’s his fault. Not yours.

justawhisper,

You are certainly not alone in all of this, and my heart goes out to you. I will remember you in prayer.

I see that your last post on this thread was several months ago, and I wonder if you have come to any conclusions about alerting authorities about the situation. In your years of therapy, did your counselors suggest anything in regard to criminal prosecution?

The reason I ask is that I have had a similar experience to yours and have been to several therapists; one was an expert in this and is even advising a certain religious order about the Church crisis. None of the therapists ever suggested taking it to court. Perhaps my situation is not as serious as yours; there was never any penetration (sorry to be so graphic). The most recent therapist encouraged me to think of what happened as a “boundary violation” rather than abuse (even though there was also physical and emotional abuse); this way, I don’t walk around feeling like a victim for the rest of my life.

I share your concern for not wanting to “rip the family apart.” However, in my situation, I don’t believe the abuser to be a threat any longer. He has apologized for being a “mean and abusive Dad,” but says he doesn’t remember the other stuff. I think he is just trying to save his marriage. Nevertheless, even though I believe the impetus to abuse is gone, I would not leave my children alone with him.

Good for you for going forward with RCIA. God’s Church is the rock that I stand on. May it be for you, too.