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Rau
Guest
I agree that in practice, little or no discouragement is offered, certainly not after the point in time when a couple consult a priest about getting married.
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twf
Guest
I certainly was not discouraged at any point in time… I married a protestant. The dispensation from canonical form was also very easily obtained after a few Indepth conversations with the priest.I agree that in practice, little or no discouragement is offered, certainly not after the point in time when a couple consult a priest about getting married.
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on_the_hill
Guest
When my wife and I did Pre-Cana, most of the couples were interfaith.
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twf
Guest
Somewhere, maybe on my archdiocesan website, I remember reading that nearly half of Church marriages are mixed.When my wife and I did Pre-Cana, most of the couples were interfaith.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
I’ve seen different reactions to mixed denomination marriages, when I married my husband the attitude was that it was good that I had found a committed Christian man but with another couple I know they were treated as though they shared no Christian values whatsoever.
I believe if you look at the Catechism and the position of the Church over the years you’ll find that it doesn’t go out of it’s way to encourage mixed marriages. And rightly so.Perhaps “strongly discouraged” in Ireland. However - and being involved in marriage prep in two parishes - my sense is that in this day and age the local church is delighted by ANY couple choosing a church wedding instead of a meadow, mountainside, Disney World, cruise ship, Bahamas, or a dozen other places where 20- and 30-somethings seem to marry now. In 11 years I have never seen a single instance of a proposed marriage being “discouraged” JUST because of the religion of the non-Catholic party. Other reasons, yes, but not mixed faith.
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EnglishTeacher
Guest
This is true. And I agree that it is unwise to marry a non-Catholic in most circumstances.I believe if you look at the Catechism and the position of the Church over the years you’ll find that it doesn’t go out of it’s way to encourage mixed marriages. And rightly so.
But I think what he is saying, (and I have found this to be true in my observation as well), that practically speaking, on a local parish level, the Church does little if anything to discourage mixed marriages.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
There is often an imbalance in the number of men and women and sadly even boys and girls at church. I think if this was strictly enforced the number of marriages in the Catholic Church would go down.
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EnglishTeacher
Guest
Fascinating, I never knew this: It used to be one of the six (now five?) precepts of the church:
"Not to marry persons who are not Catholics, or who are related to us within a forbidden degree of kindred, nor privately without witnesses, nor to solemnize marriage at forbidden times.”
Apparently this sixth precept was omitted in in 1994 Catechism. See this article:
The Disappearing Precept on Catholic Marriage
"Not to marry persons who are not Catholics, or who are related to us within a forbidden degree of kindred, nor privately without witnesses, nor to solemnize marriage at forbidden times.”
Apparently this sixth precept was omitted in in 1994 Catechism. See this article:
The Disappearing Precept on Catholic Marriage
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Rau
Guest
Two more precepts are listed traditionally as precepts (also mentioned in the Catechism but not under precepts).Fascinating, I never knew this: It used to be one of the six (now five?) precepts of the church:
"Not to marry persons who are not Catholics, or who are related to us within a forbidden degree of kindred, nor privately without witnesses, nor to solemnize marriage at forbidden times.”
Apparently this sixth precept was omitted in in 1994 Catechism. See this article:
The Disappearing Precept on Catholic Marriage
6, To obey the laws of the Church concerning Matrimony.
7. To participate in the Church’s mission of Evangelization of Souls. (This is called the Missionary Spirit of the Church.)
I’m not sure where in the Catechism these are listed - copied this from another poster.
Note that the precepts can and have been varied as appropriate over history.
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Don_Juan
Guest
Besides love and respect, great chemistry, a lot of interests in common, and we are each others best friend, we laugh when things are good and have supported each other when things were bad. I could never found a combination of those things in a Catholic.Could you please elaborate what these things are, why they are good, and why they cannot be found in a Catholic?
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Don_Juan
Guest
Thank you very much guys. Now I know life as a married couple can be hard but not impossible.
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Rau
Guest
You repeat the assertion, but do not answer why these things could not be found in a Catholic.Besides love and respect, great chemistry, a lot of interests in common, and we are each others best friend, we laugh when things are good and have supported each other when things were bad. I could never found a combination of those things in a Catholic.
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Don_Juan
Guest
For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women.
Back to the OP I am not saying these things can never be found in a Catholic, I just didn’t find them and for a long time I ONLY went out on dates with Catholics. They were all great women, but I couldn’t find the qualities I described and you cannot choose many things but not who you fall in love with.You repeat the assertion, but do not answer why these things could not be found in a Catholic.
My girlfriend and I simply found each other and started with a friendship that grew stronger and became something more.
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Rau
Guest
Ok. I see you were referring only to your personal experience.Back to the OP I am not saying these things can never be found in a Catholic, I just didn’t find them and for a long time I ONLY went out on dates with Catholics. They were all great women, but I couldn’t find the qualities I described and you cannot choose many things but not who you fall in love with.
My girlfriend and I simply found each other and started with a friendship that grew stronger and became something more.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
On a practical level I have always ended up in churches with fewer men than women and a lot of the men seem lukewarm. There often isn’t a lot of choice when you limit yourself to Catholics.
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fin
Guest
Excellent, PennyinCanada. I also want to marry a practicing Catholic man, but it’s so hard to meet one, even online. I don’t know how I could live with a husband, whom I should consider my best friend and share my body and my life with, and not share the same faith. I want a man who also loves Jesus in the Eucharist and the Church, and would raise our children in this same Faith we love.
You could very well marry a lady, lovely as she is, that will stand in opposition to these Catholic teachings and keep your children from them. You both can respect each other but then the children come along, there can be battles. Is that how you want to go forward into married life? How will you answer for this decision at the end of your life to Christ who gave his life for his bride the Church? It’s a very sobering thought.
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Rosebud77
Guest
This is only some 30 years ago… in a rural border area of Ireland. My Sister friend was living there and had a very hostile( one sidedly so) encounter with the local postman who for no reason became enraged and abusive, told her also to go back where she came from as she was not wanted there…
When she asked a local person she was told that the man had fallen in love with a Protestant girl and they were going to get married. The priest visited him and then sent the nuns in and they stopped him and in fact ruined his life . Oh and made sure he would never go near a Church again .
We are not our wives or husbands. We are ourselves.
When she asked a local person she was told that the man had fallen in love with a Protestant girl and they were going to get married. The priest visited him and then sent the nuns in and they stopped him and in fact ruined his life . Oh and made sure he would never go near a Church again .
We are not our wives or husbands. We are ourselves.
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Rosebud77
Guest
This was still Eire, ie Southern but only a few miles from the border…
Now we re seeing Irish marrying eg Dutch incomers. And Polish. Interesting mix
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Now we re seeing Irish marrying eg Dutch incomers. And Polish. Interesting mix
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EnglishTeacher
Guest
In which religion are you planning to raise your children? Have you and she talked about this yet?For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women. Then on a unexpected turn of events in my life, our paths crossed each other and there was instant chemistry.
I was raised Catholic and she was raised Christian. She grew up going to Sunday school and nowadays she is very active in her Church, so we cannot ask each other to change our faiths.
We both believe strongly in God and besides our beliefs, we have so many things and values in common. I found things in her that I could never found in a Catholic and I will propose her soon.
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