Is it sinful/uncharitable to tell someone they are prideful?

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yahwehsdaughter said:
that I must be “unchaste”, then started going on about his great virtues of how he hadn’t masturbated since January because he has self-control
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Gentlemen do NOT discuss their private habits in private conversations with ladies they’ve just met.

I’m not being a prude here, simply saying that no guy in his right mind chatting up a girl would launch into a discussion of masturbation within a few days. That’s just sick.

If this is an online conversation, the man is engaging in some kind of sexual game or abuse. He probably thinks you’re naive enough to let him get away with such talk. Block him now.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Gentlemen do NOT discuss their private habits in private conversations with ladies they’ve just met.
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Yeah…I think this topic of conversation is important going into marriage, not upon first meeting/chatting. Then again, I’ve heard that the third date is when people first have sex, so… :roll_eyes:
 
yahwehsdaughter said:
if anything were to happen between us while we were alone, it would be because 1.) I allowed it to happen, or 2.) I initiated it.
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This right here is the reason enough to never be alone with this person. He has already “excused” anything he may do, and blaming you first. This is a huge hint.
Burn the bridge behind you.
Dominus vobiscum
 
You are very welcome. It is something that when we are close to, we dont see. That is why a lot of people fall victim to it.

It can take others to point it out, as have people on this thread. It is a good thing you were questioning it and posted about this issue. Please speak to your priest if this is an issue at your local parish with a man.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Block him now.
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I told him how I felt. I was going to block him, but feel like I should give a formal goodbye. He’s not a jerk all the time, maybe only 92% of the time, so I’m hoping he will just apologize and change his ways. I like how he is when he’s not being mean and holier-than-thou.
 
yahwehsdaughter said:
. A friend suggested that I talk to him because I “need to heal my relationship with men”. I didn’t feel that I needed to heal from anything, but I thought, maybe she is right and my boundaries are unhealthy.
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Okay, I gotta say, your friend is not acting very much like a friend. Your friend is not right, but she is trying to convince you that she is.

Your boundaries are whatever you want them to be. If you do not want to marry, your boundaries can include not speaking to rude men saying inappropriate things to you or friends that are trying to “help” you conform to their way of thinking. They are your boundaries to set.

I don’t know how old you are, but perhaps a family member might be a better option to discuss things with. A friend that says you “need to heal your relationship with men” sounds a bit too influential in this case. Talk to a family member or at counseling.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Your boundaries are whatever you want them to be.
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This was extremely freeing to read 😊. Thank you!

I don’t blame my friend. She didn’t know how toxic he was. I will still get counseling though. She was trying to help, but I realize I don’t need the help now. My boundaries were fine.
 
Don’t go getting suckered into being nice to these type guys.

There is a certain type of guy, often presents himself as “religious”, who loves to guilt women and blame everything on them. Such men look for women who are too young or too naive to know better, and/or too nice to tell him to get lost. These type of men are looking for women they can use and abuse, often in a sexual way and then blame it on the girl.

They are bad news, and dangerous. Get rid of them immediately when they show their colors. Otherwise, you may find yourself in some really regrettable situations.

If you have a mom or an older sister, she should be telling you this.
 
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yahwehsdaughter said:
but feel like I should give a formal goodbye. He’s not a jerk all the time, maybe only 92% of the time, so I’m hoping he will just apologize and change his ways. I like how he is when he’s not being mean and holier-than-thou.
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This will sound uncharitable but here it is.
You do not owe this person anything. This may just show him you can be manipulated. “She said no, but here she is again, its a go.” No more contact. If this is at work, inform HR dept. If he says hi, say nothing.
If he apologizes, it could be just to keep your interest.
You might be risking your safety here.
Dominus vobiscum
Added: If any man claims to be “righteous” then mentions not masturbating for 8months, AND wants to be alone with you, AND says anything will be your fault. Not a good situation.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
There is a certain type of guy, often presents himself as “religious”, who loves to guilt women and blame everything on them.
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Tis_Bearself said:
If you have a mom or an older sister, she should be telling you this.
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I’m an adult and don’t have any experience with this. Also they aren’t religious and my mom has passed away. I’m surprised that someone could be so evil to use the faith in an abusive manner.
Agnus-Dei said:
This may just show him you can be manipulated. “She said no, but here she is again, its a go.”
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:cry:

This did it for me. I blocked him. Thank you all for your advice.
 
It’s done. I blocked him. Thank you all, for your advice ❤️
 
I did not read entire thread. You need to tell this person or persons no.
I had alot of people think linked in is a dating site.
Ha! I told them forget it and blocked them.

Lordy I’ve been married 33 years since 19.
 
You are very welcome.
There are indeed people who will use anything possible to get what they want. The means don’t matter, just the result they desire. When I was younger, I knew another “man” that strung two women around in a similar way. They fell hard. Nothing would convince them that he would do such a thing because, “they knew all about him”. He was found out eventually, and laughed it off to both. No children as a result thankfully.
Dominus vobiscum
 
Linked-in as a dating site? Wow I’m ignorant on several “new” things but even I know that is not the case.
It’s not “Hook’d up!”
Pray for us all.
Dominus vobiscum
 
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