Is it too late to marry in your 30s?

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pwlj_christ87

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I have a question regarding having girlfriends and getting married at the age of 30. I am a 29 year old male, who is single, and though i live myself and work, i find myself with financial struggles, or at least, i dont make as much as others, that being said, do you think its too late to marry in your 30s, when i approach those years, i would like to get marrried, because i would like to be married eventually, right now i know i cant, because of my own funds, and personal situation, but later, would that be ok, or is it too late? also do you have to want to have kids or do you not need to?
 
No, it’s not too late. In this day and age, it’s even common.

You have to be open to the possibility of children, but naturally as spouses age the door closes on that all on its own.

If you think you are not marriage material now, I would work hard on resolving the issues that you think are holding you back. It sounds like finances would be a place to start.
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
I have a question regarding having girlfriends and getting married at the age of 30. I am a 29 year old male, who is single, and though i live myself and work, i find myself with financial struggles, or at least, i dont make as much as others, that being said, do you think its too late to marry in your 30s, when i approach those years, i would like to get marrried, because i would like to be married eventually, right now i know i cant, because of my own funds, and personal situation, but later, would that be ok, or is it too late? also do you have to want to have kids or do you not need to?
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Of course not! My daughter was 34 and my son-in-law was 36. Get you finances in order, find a nice girl, marry and raise a family.
 
It is as much a mistake to put off marriage indefinitely as to rush into it.

Having said that, I have a friend who joked that the people who waited to marry until they were 30 seemed to be skipping the “starter marriage” and going right to the one that was going to last. That’s a little harsh, but the rate of divorce is lower among people who marry later in life.

One of the perils of waiting so long is that the couple may find it difficult to become pregnant. Your fertility won’t last forever. Again, though: far better to marry late than to marry foolishly because you thought some clock was ticking and rushed in.
 
Here in Canada, the average marrying age for men is 31 and 28 for women. I was 27 when I got married and stood out among my friends.
Maybe in the States its still common to get married younger? I would say in the cities, or at least here in Vancouver, that national average of 28 / 31 is young…

When my wife and I were expecting our son we were both 28. I remember taking the maternity tour at the local hospital - we both felt sooooooooo young. Here were all these expecting dads going bald… expecting mothers in their mid to late 30s… even now we know almost no one in our age group (29 / 30) with kids… people just wait longer and longer.
 
It use to be that that the full burden of providing for the family fell to the man. Presently, it is more common for husband and wife to share, to some extent, financial responsibilities. Maybe your financial struggles are not the barrier to marriage that you imagine.

If I understand correctly, you have a job that supports your own housing. If you were to share housing with your employed wife, you might not struggle so much. You might even be able to save some money and invest in home ownership - if that is something that appeals to you - or invest in some other vehicle that would add to your wealth.

The future holds a lot of promise for you. When you find the right person, you will find new opportunities.
 
My grandfather was forty when he married my grandmother and she was eighteen. They had twelve children. I met my husband at forty-six and married him at forty-eight. You can find love at all ages of your life.
 
Definitely not. However, you need to be friends and really be on the same page. Talk to each other, especially about what you expect life to be like after the ceremony. I was always attracted to women who wanted - to be blunt - a lot of stuff. My last girlfriend had a list, in her head. That’s why when marriage was brought up, some quick math, with both of us working, did not add up. And I could tell she would be have been miserable without her stuff.

So, being very attractive, she moved away, found a guy earning 10X what I make and that’s how it goes sometimes.

Pray. Don’t worry about it. God is with you.

Ed
 
I was 33 & my husband 51. We’re still hanging in there - 30 years come February.

It was only “too late” in respect to having a large family, but that worked out fine.
 
I got married the first time on my 28th birthday.
Then I was a widow after 24 years, and married again.
Anything is possible.
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
I have a question regarding having girlfriends and getting married at the age of 30. I am a 29 year old male, who is single, and though i live myself and work, i find myself with financial struggles, or at least, i dont make as much as others, that being said, do you think its too late to marry in your 30s, when i approach those years, i would like to get marrried, because i would like to be married eventually, right now i know i cant, because of my own funds, and personal situation, but later, would that be ok, or is it too late? also do you have to want to have kids or do you not need to?
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It is not too late, lots of people are still single in their 30’s. Go to a Catholic dating website and you will see.

I have known more than one person that got married in their late 20’s or older right after they got out of prison. In one case WHILE he was in prison. They had nothing. No money, but they found women who love them. A friend of mine just proposed to his girlfriend a day ago and he is 31 or 32. Heck, there are women out there that support deadbeat men as if the man is going to inherit a billion dollars one day when all the man really has is a chronic unemployment and drinking problem.

30’s is not too late. Heck, I am counting on it because I am 32. Although I will say practicing Catholic women seem to be a hard group to try to date. I do not know what it is. Maybe it is because everyone that is dating in their 30s is looking to find someone to marry so that makes them super picky (This goes for men too) but no, it is not too late for you. Do you expect someone people to say “Yes, it is too late?”

You have to be open to life(A baby) to be validly married.
 
Nuts!

In the past, it was the norm for men to be older at marriage and marry a young chick. The current stereotype of teenage sweethearts is **very **modern.

ICXC NIKA
 
It’s definitely not too late, you can get married at whatever age you like.
 
30 is not old at all…

I will say though, if you wait for perfect circumstances, you will never get married.
 
It’s never too late to find love and marry. I’m almost 60. I got married for the first time at 48. I was Protestant and thought it would last forever. Two years later he was cheating and I got a divorce. I hope to remarry one day.

You are still young. If it’s God’s will for you to marry he will send the right woman to you, at the right time in your life.
 
GEddie said:
Nuts!

In the past, it was the norm for men to be older at marriage and marry a young chick. The current stereotype of teenage sweethearts is **very **modern.

ICXC NIKA
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You’re right about teenage sweetheart marriages being not really a thing, historically, but there have been many times and places where both bride and groom would be older. In Northern/Western Europe, both tended to be older, with just a few years between husband and wife.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_European_marriage_pattern

Also, check out the ages here:

census.gov/hhes/families/files/graphics/MS-2.pdf

From 1890 to the present, there’s a very consistent 2-4 year age gap between age at first marriage for husband and wife–it starts at 4 years and then narrows as you get closer to the present.
 
One downside no one wants to bring up apparently is the baggage issue. After 30 folks have pretty much lived some type of life and it’s not uncommon for that past lovers, children, divorces, mental instability, etc to play a factor now with your “new” partner.

Probably not gonna find a sweet virgin Catholic girl who does the cleaning after that point :rolleyes:. Not in Western society anyways
 
Polluted said:
One downside no one wants to bring up apparently is the baggage issue. After 30 folks have pretty much lived some type of life and it’s not uncommon for that past lovers, children, divorces, mental instability, etc to play a factor now with your “new” partner.

Probably not gonna find a sweet virgin Catholic girl who does the cleaning after that point :rolleyes:. Not in Western society anyways
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You’d be surprised how many sweet Catholics do not get around to dating or marrying until later in life. A lot of Catholics are also mature enough to have stopped concerning themselves with finding a spouse who is as free of sin as they were at fourteen.

Yes, the older people get the more of a past they have. They’re usually not changing nearly so fast as when they were younger, though. You are more likely to be seeing what you’ll be getting, and your spouse will be, too.

It is always a huge mistake to marry with the idea that you’re going to change someone, but even more so if they are older and less likely to change than when they were in their early 20s.

The chance you take when you marry too young is that you’ll change.
The chance you take when you marry late in life is that you won’t!! 😃
 
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