Is it un-Catholic like to not trust someone at work?

[whatevergirl]

or even in general, if you have historical reasons not to? (not talking holding a grudge, just keeping one’s guard up as a precaution) I have lost trust with a few men at work, and now my guard’s up. Is that un-Catholic like, if you keep it to yourself?

 

[Eworms]

You’re not giving a lot of details here which limits the responses that I (or anyone else) can give, but here’s a shot.

I would say that it is not necessarily wrong not to trust someone at work. If a coworker somehow makes you feel threatened then not trusting him as you would just about anyone else is perfectly reasonable. Of course, there are varying degrees of trust and actions that can break it which need to be taken into account.

I don’t know that I’d say or do much about it (apart from the obvious points of not being alone with a man who makes you feel uncomfortable or something) unless he says or does something in particular that unsettles you. In that case you may wish to mention it to him politely that his remark makes you feel uncomfortable. Most decent men should be responsive to that. If things get worse, maybe talk to your manager about the situation.

Unfortunately, not having the details does limit how much anyone can say here, but I hope that helped.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I am not sure I remember reading “Thou shall not trust” anywhere?

I agree that without a lot of information (which you may not be able to provide) I think it is hard to say, but in general, I would have to think that it is not “un-Catholic” to not trust someone.

I think that if you have good reason to have your guard up, then that is your conscience giving you a reason to question certain things. Being Catholic does not mean that we “have to” trust each person IMHO.

For me it is hard to trust others when I am playing poker

 

[Ridgerunner]

The word “trust” implies an uncritical acceptance of the actions or words of another. All humans are tainted by original sin and are active sinners. Jesus said that “even the just man falls seven times a day”. So why should you feel called upon to disbelieve that someone would do something wrong? We are called upon to act charitably; which is to act for the good of the other. We are not called upon to believe everything we’re told.

 

[whatevergirl]

First, in reading the title of the thread…I meant it to mean…“un Catholic-like” not un-Catholic…like uh…ok, just clearing that up. lol

Ok…here are some details. Someone at work lied about what took place in a given situation…to make himself look better than me, for some strange reason…not really sure why. We work directly, and indirectly together–he is in sales. I’m in marketing. Bottom line…I sent a rebuttal correcting his ‘error’ and mgmt ‘sided’ with me, for lack of a better word. There really was no argument, per se…just now, I feel…I cannot trust this guy. This isn’t the first time he has tried to ‘show me up,’ and one of my colleagues thinks it totally doesn’t make sense why he does that. I mean…I don’t really have anything to do with his job. We get along, oddly enough, otherwise…but when it comes to our work–he always wants to take credit for my work. Ah, yes, that’s the best way of saying it!

He takes credit for my work…and it’s rather confusing. So, I did take the higher road and didn’t blast him…but, nonetheless brought the ‘full story’ to light…with no reply from him at all.

So there ya have it. Now, I feel I have to just keep an eye out for him…

 

[whatevergirl]

The word “trust” implies an uncritical acceptance of the actions or words of another. All humans are tainted by original sin and are active sinners. Jesus said that “even the just man falls seven times a day”. So why should you feel called upon to disbelieve that someone would do something wrong? We are called upon to act charitably; which is to act for the good of the other. We are not called upon to believe everything we’re told.

He lied about me. It’s not a belief, it’s a fact. Please read the story above. I didn’t say I hate him…or will not treat him in a charitable manner…I just don’t trust him.

 

[whatevergirl]

I am not sure I remember reading “Thou shall not trust” anywhere?

I agree that without a lot of information (which you may not be able to provide) I think it is hard to say, but in general, I would have to think that it is not “un-Catholic” to not trust someone.

I think that if you have good reason to have your guard up, then that is your conscience giving you a reason to question certain things. Being Catholic does not mean that we “have to” trust each person IMHO.

For me it is hard to trust others when I am playing poker

LOL–I have never learned how to play poker. Hmm.

Yes…what you say is true…I had a ‘sense’ about him even before this happened…and dismissed it. Now, today…I can see why I had that sense. Do you think that the ‘sense’ is really the wisdom of the Holy Spirit?

 

[Reepicheep]

I see nothing wrong in being careful of someone who has shown themselves untrustworthy in the past.

 

[RobNY]

Do you think that the ‘sense’ is really the wisdom of the Holy Spirit?

Nah, woman’s intuition. But most females will swear they’re practically the same thing.

As for trust: I like to say, trust is earned, not given. For instance, the longer you have a friendship the more you come to trust that friend, not automatically, but organically as you come to know them more intimately. If someone breaks your trust, then it shatters all of that trust which you had before, and you have to start from square one. From this it is obvious that trust is something which builds between two people, gradually, over time-- otherwise we’d trust people who just broke our trust, completely, immediately after we’ve forgiven them-- but that’s not how it works.

It seems to me that to distrust this man is perfectly warranted, given what you know about him. Distrust would only be a bad thing if it led you to sin-- so guard against such things, for instance, a decrease in charity towards him, and you’ll be alright.

-Rob

 

[whatevergirl]

Nah, woman’s intuition. But most females will swear they’re practically the same thing.

As for trust: I like to say, trust is earned, not given. For instance, the longer you have a friendship the more you come to trust that friend, not automatically, but organically as you come to know them more intimately. If someone breaks your trust, then it shatters all of that trust which you had before, and you have to start from square one. From this it is obvious that trust is something which builds between two people, gradually, over time-- otherwise we’d trust people who just broke our trust, completely, immediately after we’ve forgiven them-- but that’s not how it works.

It seems to me that to distrust this man is perfectly warranted, given what you know about him. Distrust would only be a bad thing if it led you to sin-- so guard against such things, for instance, a decrease in charity towards him, and you’ll be alright.

-Rob

Oh thank you for that last line…I did feel a twinge of anger towards him…like severe anger…and I don’t want to think bad thoughts of someone. I truly need to be cognizant of that!!

 

[whatevergirl]

I read this today on wau.org

I suppose I should put my suspicion down.

By the power of this cross, Jesus has crucified our fallen nature and freed us to be filled with the same love of God that he himself experiences. It is a passionate love, powerful enough to soften the hardest of hearts and transform every person into a lover of God. It is an all-inclusive love, capable of breaking down every barrier of prejudice, resentment, and suspicion that keeps us separated from each other. It is an eternal love that never fails: God is always smiling upon us, wanting only to bless and strengthen us as we turn to him.

 

[mdgspencer]

It is not wrong to distrust someone who can do you harm. I recall the woman my wife knew who was in love with a man who got her to take all her retirement money and put it into a gold mine. Then she lost all her retirement money. Too at work, there may be women who love to gossip, for example, telling people things true or untrue that damage the good name of others. There are one or two where I work, and I am careful not to talk with them, and ind fact, have sometimes tried to find out about my personal life when I have spoken with them.

 

[drifting_away]

Trust is something that must be earned. Basically, you can’t trust anyone to start with, then, if they earn your trust, you can trust them.

 

[kage_ar]

We Christians are commanded to love. I’m really really REALLY working on this one (especially the brooding over injury one)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.”
From 1 Cor 13

 

[puzzleannie]

or even in general, if you have historical reasons not to? (not talking holding a grudge, just keeping one’s guard up as a precaution) I have lost trust with a few men at work, and now my guard’s up. Is that un-Catholic like, if you keep it to yourself?

prudence is one of the cardinal virtues, so assessing a co-workers behavior and performance certainly takes that virtue into account.

 

[puzzleannie]

or even in general, if you have historical reasons not to? (not talking holding a grudge, just keeping one’s guard up as a precaution) I have lost trust with a few men at work, and now my guard’s up. Is that un-Catholic like, if you keep it to yourself?

prudence is one of the cardinal virtues, so assessing a co-workers behavior and performance certainly takes that virtue into account.

 

[aimee]

LOL–I have never learned how to play poker. Hmm.

Yes…what you say is true…I had a ‘sense’ about him even before this happened…and dismissed it. Now, today…I can see why I had that sense. Do you think that the ‘sense’ is really the wisdom of the Holy Spirit?

could also be your guardian angel looking out for you…

 

[whatevergirl]

could also be your guardian angel looking out for you…

good point!

 

[nichjake]

I to say that, like respect, trust is earned…not given. I can’t say whether or not its un-Catholic like not to trust co-workers but from a humanist/“common” sense/self preservation standpoint I’d say its fine not to trust someone unless they’ve given some sort of proof that they deserve the trust. I wouldn’t say to not trust them at all, just don’t put yourself in a position where you’d run into trouble if they didn’t pull through until you know you can trust them.

 

[whatevergirl]

I to say that, like respect, trust is earned…not given. I can’t say whether or not its un-Catholic like not to trust co-workers but from a humanist/“common” sense/self preservation standpoint I’d say its fine not to trust someone unless they’ve given some sort of proof that they deserve the trust. I wouldn’t say to not trust them at all, just don’t put yourself in a position where you’d run into trouble if they didn’t pull through until you know you can trust them.

thank for this, nichjake.