Is it unhealthy to look forward to death?

[Vittorio23]

I look forward to death; in fact, I would go as far to say that I want to die. I sometimes day-dream about dying. Nothing suicidal, no, never. But accidents-- car accidents, drowning, being murdered. It sounds quite grotesque, I know, but I can’t help it.

And it’s not as though I should ever want to kill myself. I would never even think of taking my own life. No. But the thought of dying intrigues me. Dying means being with Christ, if I should make it to Heaven. I want to be with God. I could deal with never having this world to bother me anymore.

My only consolation, the only thing that really keeps me going, is that I know God wants me on earth right now. That He has some sort of plan for me, that I am a part of His grand scheme of things in some way or another. The fact that He wants me down here right now is the only reason I want to be down here. If I could die now and go to be with Him, I would do it in an instant.

It’s ironic, in a way, because I mostly have these thoughts/feelings when I am doing something fun-- hanging out with friends, sports, etc. I’ll be having a great time, but I can just sense that something is missing. I don’t know.

I’m slightly concerned, because I don’t know if these types of thoughts are normal, or more importantly, if they are healthy for me.

Please do not get me wrong: I am in no way suicidal. And these types of thoughts are not all consuming. They come up everyonce in a while and I have control over them: I can kick them out or kind of let them run through my mind.

Just wondering if anybody else has ever felt like this or if there were any thoughts on how healthy these types of thoughts might be.

 

[mystified]

Yes, I’ve had recurring dreams about death in an automobile accident. I don’t know why. Only one friend and a cousin I didn’t know died in auto accidents. I try to put it out of my mind, knowing that when God wants me, He will take me, and I must be ready, no matter by what means He chooses.
Healthy or unhealthy? Can’t say.

 

[blessedtoo]

Kayla, I see on your blog that you are 18 years old. God bless you for you obvious love for the Lord! I try not to remember what I was doing at 18!

While you are clearly on a more spiritual path than I was at 18, I think that a curious interest in death is pretty standard at this age. You’ve just emerged from the invincible adolescent years when we all think we are immortal into the young adult years, where we start to worry about the future and all we are to do. Often, the road ahead looks so daunting, or less than promising, that we fantasize about just leaving this world and moving on to our true home with our beloved Father. I don’t think this is something to worry about, unless it begins to consume you.

I am sure you know the great quote of St. Augustine: You have made us for yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you. As I approach my 50’s, I realize that all my restlessness can be traced back to the deep and profound yearning for God. And so I do indeed look forward to the day that I hopefully see His face. I don’t necessarily think about the method of my demise. You mentioned a few things that were a bit disturbing. I pray I will not die in a sudden car accident or, God forbid, through a violent murder. These are slightly macabre fantasies and I feel certain that God does not wish to see His young 18 year old daughter slain by a psycho or crushed by a semi.

If it’s really the union with God that you are yearning for, try to find your fulfillment here while you are still alive and ready to do His will and work. Spending time with Him in the Blessed Sacrament, in private prayer, maybe daily Mass, can provide you with a wonderful intimacy while you are fulfilling His plan for you on earth.

 

[Neithan]

I think anyone who really believes in heaven would look forward to death in some way, or really beyond it (death itself isn’t pleasant), where a Christian has their eternal reward to enjoy. But we ought to really treasure this time on earth because although it is a time of trial, suffering and struggle, it is very precious; it is the only time we have to truly give something for God, to gain merit and glory for Him.

 

[masondoggy]

I often have the feeling of longing to be with God in Heaven. I just can’t wait to finally meet Him and find out what He is really like. I don’t have “fantasies” about dying, but I do long to get there sometime and not have any worries anymore (especially when I have to worry about paying the bills… ).

But, I’m not ready to die. I’m needed here on Earth to raise the babies that God gave me. My most important job is to get them to Heaven along with me.